LGBTQA+ Community

Kirsch · March 10, 2015

I didn't either I just feel horrible for all the same sex couples that started planning their weddings/got engaged during the short amount of time it was legal only to have it go back to being illegal a couple days later

And I can try to explain how agender people might feel (I'll be partly speaking from firsthand experience on this. As everyone goes through different things this obviously won't be a clean cut, widely agreed upon response of what it means to be agender. I also kept in mind on what I've heard other agender people say about their identities) To make things simple and hopefully less confusing let's limit the gender spectrum down to male, female, androgynous, and agender. Male and female are on the very extreme ends of the spectrum, androgyny's in the middle, and agender's off somewhere else. Agender's neither male nor female (nor a combination of the two). For some it might just mean they don't care much about their gender, they see themselves as themselves instead of a gender. (these folk also tend to not care about gender roles much at all) For others, them being agender is important to them and makes up a huge part of them. (I've noticed these people usually are more.. aware of gender roles I guess and usually go out of their to try to appear especially neither male nor female)

In my case, I realized I was agender when I had the thought that I didn't want to be nor always be seen as male and/or female, I want to be considered a person first and foremost rather than a gender if that makes sense. (I kinda have to word that weirdly since I also ID as androgynous and that can sound contradictory saying I feel like a combination of a both yet neither at the same time. I don't fully get it either at times.)

~~sorry if you weren't particularly looking for an answer to that btw...~~

~~and I'm really tired so I apologize for any typos as well~~

EDIT: so this happened!

I liked the way the newscasters and Planet Fitness handled the whole thing. As for the people they interviewed, I can't say their responses were exactly surprising but it really shows just how little the general public knows about transgender individuals as a whole. The woman who got her Planet Fitness membership revoked annoyed me a lot though. At the very least, it's nice to see that this is a story about a transphobic person (notice how she continues to use "he" after learning the "man" in the locker room is actually a woman) getting kicked out of an accepting place instead of the transwoman being kicked out for making people uncomfortable.

EDIT 2:

I found an LGBTQIA+ social networking site through an asexuality group I'm in on facebook. It's called Skittlr. I've just joined it myself and am admittedly still a little hesitant of it. The layout's reminiscent of facebook, especially the chat feature. It seems kinda cool???? The general chat and few groups I've joined seem friendly enough. I just thought I'd mention it. ~~and if anyone cares I'm machine on there as well~~

Ah, okay. Andro/agender/asexual people are harder for me to understand than trans/homosexuals, simply because they're different from the norm. Homosexuals (and all other -sexuals) love just as straight people do, and I guess I can put myself in the shoes of a transgender with gender dysphoria. Asexual, androgynous, and agender would be a lack of these set identities that I take for granted. I've honestly never thought about gender roles though. It's really interesting, hearing you speak of these things.

Gah that makes me so happy! It's a nice thing to hear after just learning about Alabama, haha. I do understand if you get shocked from seeing a trans for the first time, and even more shocked when you're not aware of what they're doing as they walk into the changing room, but the rest of the story screams transphobia. PlanetFitness' policy is amazing. Seeing their commercials (that I now regret always making fun of) about how they won't judge, I've never thought that they'd include this.

machine · March 19, 2015

I'm admittedly pretty salty at the moment so the following will probably be fairly biased so just a heads up

Indiana's governor did sign the religious freedom bill. I feel I should clarify that this law doesn't directly discriminate against same sex/gender couples or the LGBTQIA+ community but as this is the main group taking action against this bill and similar laws in other states, and is the main concern for businesses in Indiana or have conventions in Indianapolis it's what I'm focusing on as well. I honestly don't have any idea how much of an effect this will have because I doubt any large chain businesses will use this new law to discriminate as that would likely drive away a good amount of their consumers. As for small, locally owned businesses, it's hard to say. It's just...infuriating and very worrisome. The town I live in is near a college so majority of my local yik yak feed is from college kids. The yik yak feed is... well it's not uncommon for there to be a racist and other bigoted posts (usually it'll die down after a day or two, go back to mundane and comedy posts and then go back to being hateful a week later) and currently there's quite a few homophobic and transphobic posts on there. These college kids are from all over the country and not just local so it's not exactly a reliable source of how my town might feel towards the religious freedom bill but it nonetheless is kinda unsettling knowing there's people in my vicinity that already hold a negative opinion of my friends and I despite never meeting us.

article here: x

Three days ago on March 23, 2015 transgender teen and overall LGBT advocate, Blake Brockington, 18, committed suicide. There's not very much information on the thing as a whole but it sounds like Blake had been suffering from depression for quite a while. Last year, Blake became the first openly transgender homecoming king in his town. Blake came out as trans as a sophomore in high school and was shortly after placed in a foster home. Though his birth family was unaccepting, judging by how Blake had started hormones and was living full time the way he felt most comfortable it fortunately sounds like his foster family supported him. It's heartbreaking to see another trans teen take his own life, especially considering all the things Blake did for the trans and LGBT community along with participating in police brutality protests.

RIP Blake, you won't be forgotten

article here: x

First and foremost two things happened

I'll start with the overall good news: 14yr old transgirl, Jazz Jennings, is a fairly well known LGBT activist in the trans community and not only recently became the spokesperson for the Clean & Clear campaign, Jazz and her family are also getting a tv show on TLC! Considering just how young Jazz is and just how much she's done for trans and LGBT awareness in general this is really exciting! (article here: x)

And the not as good news: A conservative politician in Canada named Donald Plett (some politicians in the US are trying to do this as well) is trying to make it so trans people have to use the public restroom that correlates to their birth sex regardless or whether they're transitioning, post transition, or pre transition. As trans folk already using public restrooms is already a safety issue, forcing already transitioned trans folk to use the restroom that coincides with their birth sex by law is very ? ?? ??? ?? ? It's just really ridiculous and sets up a lot more potentially dangerous situations because even if a trans person is obligated to be law to be in that restroom, it doesn't mean they won't be confronted and/or attacked by any people in there. Some trans people on social media are showing just how impractical this proposal is with the #PlettPutMeHere and #WeJustNeedtoPee hashtags (and article here: x)

Ah, okay. Andro/agender/asexual people are harder for me to understand than trans/homosexuals, simply because they're different from the norm. Homosexuals (and all other -sexuals) love just as straight people do, and I guess I can put myself in the shoes of a transgender with gender dysphoria. Asexual, androgynous, and agender would be a lack of these set identities that I take for granted. I've honestly never thought about gender roles though. It's really interesting, hearing you speak of these things.

Gah that makes me so happy! It's a nice thing to hear after just learning about Alabama, haha. I do understand if you get shocked from seeing a trans for the first time, and even more shocked when you're not aware of what they're doing as they walk into the changing room, but the rest of the story screams transphobia. PlanetFitness' policy is amazing. Seeing their commercials (that I now regret always making fun of) about how they won't judge, I've never thought that they'd include this.

Yeah other gender identities can be a little hard to grasp. They're not like a new thing but they weren't really talked about and somewhat socially acceptable until very recently. Androgyny is actually the combination of male and female traits! To stick with the a- theme you were going with you might've meant aromantic as that's the lack of romantic attraction. Asexuality and aromanticism sometimes go together as they're the lack of attraction that's involved in your typical intimate relationship. The reason they're specified by people who identify as such is because asexuality and aromanticism especially are huge spectrums and those identities can greatly differ from person-to-person. (there's gray aromantics/asexuals, demi aromantics/asexuals, cupio-romantics/sexuals*, akio-romantics/sexuals**, just aro/ace people, autochoris-sexuals/romantics***, etc etc) There's also people who identify as asexual but not aromantic and vice versa. (I'd say only about half the asexuals and aromantics I've run into identify as both asexual and aromantic) As an example, (though this doesn't exactly have to do with asexuality it's the same idea) I've run into a couple guys that are bisexual and say they would hook up with guy but would never date another guy.

*cupioromantic/cupiosexual - individuals who want a romantic/sexual relationship despite not feeling romantic/sexual attraction

**akioromantic/akiosexual - also known as lithromantic/lithsexual is when someone feels romantic/sexual attraction but has no desire of those feelings being reciprocated

***autochorisromantic/autochorissexual - some of these people feel romantic/sexual attraction, others don't but the term specifically means that the person has a disconnect when thinking about romantic/sexual situations. The scenarios the individual fantasizes about won't have them in it, they'll see the thing happening from a 3rd person perspective.

These more specific labels all fall on the aro/ace spectrum and are sorta like additional, lesser known labels. They're not as... necessary to know (I know there has to be a better way to word that,,) but I thought I'd mentioned them anyways.

And gender roles are pretty interesting. There's a lot to them and it's really interesting just how long they've existed, how they vary from culture-to-culture, and what roles they've played in the formation of modern society. It's also really interesting how they're ingrained in us. I saw a really good example of this and just how much the gender binary's ingrained in us as well on tumblr where the post had a picture of a screenshot from twitter (which I unfortunately can't find orz) but it pointed out how in Wall-e, Wall-e and Eve are obviously robots and robots are robots. Robots sexless and genderless yet we all assumed Wall-e was a boy and Eve a girl. Eve definitely has a feminine voice which was probably one of the reasons why we all assumed that but nonetheless... And even when Wall-e's assumed to be a boy and Eve's assumed to be a girl the traditional relationship roles are switched! ~~man I love that movie~~

I guess if one's not quite fully aware of what transpeople are (ex: thinking it's simply crossdressing) or maybe if one grew up in a very homophobic and/or transphobic environment seeing a transperson could be a little unexpected or awkward looking (hence why raising visibility and acceptance are important!) but it's not exactly hard to keep any rude comments to yourself. Even if the transphobic lady didn't have horrible intentions she didn't handle the situation very well and wasn't apologetic about it either. But yeah it's really nice to see a no judgment policy that doesn't seem to have an invisible asterisk attached to it! If I'm not mistaken Planet Fitness has locations all around the country so maybe with enough time the no judgment policy will be expected at all gyms and later other public places!

~~sO THiS happened ,, , , ,~~

Indiana's governor is probably going to sign in a bill, called the religious freedom bill, that will make it so business can deny service to gay couples. I heard on the local news that a group of LGBT advocates went to the deliver 10,000 letters in opposition of the bill either Monday or today (Tuesday). Gen Con which is a really large gaming convention that takes place annually over the summer in Indianapolis sent a letter in to the governor saying that if the bill does get signed the con will likely leave in Indiana once their contract is up in 2020. As Gen Con brings in some 50mil each year this isn't exactly a small threat so hopefully that'll mean something to the governor. Though the statement his spokesperson released when asked to comment on what Gen Con said is a little... ohmygodwhy as they said he was looking forward to signing it.

~~dammit Indiana~~

~~article here: x~~

And a homophobic lawyer in California is trying to make the murder of LGBTQIA+ people legal. There's a petition on change.org with 40K+ signatures to disband his practice. This one most likely won't actually become legal but due to some recent events I'll include this story as well.

petition here: x

~~I'm determined to keep this thread updated even if no one really cares~~

Today, March 31st, is Trans Visibility Day! This seems to mostly be happening on social media like Tumblr but a few news websites have also posted little articles on the topic. This day's really important as for a lot of people it's about coming out to their friends and followers on social media, seeing other trans folk all at various spots in the coming out and transitioning process, and also being supportive to other members of the trans community. There's also been a few posts going around about how to pass better with common household objects for people who could be in danger if they don't pass well but don't have the money to transition or their family abuses them because they're trans and aren't able to buy things to help with their dysphoria. I just think it's really cool to see this large group of people come together to help and support one another all the while raising awareness for their cause.

A really important thing happened! This is a huge step in the right direction regarding young trans people's safety and wellbeing!

Maltavite · April 17, 2015

*facepalm*

http://www.republika.co.id/berita/nasional/umum/13/07/02/mpb1o0-mui-angkat-bicara-soal-lgbt-di-indonesia

Some Indonesian fundamentalist tried to use fatwa to wipe out LGBT

Fortunately, there's an Indonesian LGBT community too ^^:

http://aruspelangi.org/

Kirsch · April 20, 2015

A few days ago on the 16th, I participated in the International Day of Silence. It's supposed to recognize those who have to keep silent about their sexuality. At first, I just thought it was something interesting to do. It later made me realize how supportive my school is of the LGBT+ cause; every teacher gave me the OK, and every classmate was like "coolio".

machine · April 25, 2015

A couple days ago on the NBC national news there were stories on transgender children that are actually happy stories showcasing how the two kids featured really came out of their shells and were overall happier after (socially) transitioning. (If they do more stories on transgender kids I'll update this accordingly if needed.)

The first story was about a 5 year old transboy named Jacob and the second one was about an 8 year old transgirl named Malisa. The videos aren't sad at all and are mainly about showing that an early transition can save trans children from experience years and years of dysphoria, bullying, depression, anxiety, and other preventable mental health issues and just bad situations in general. The families were both incredibly supportive and overall just very emotional over how much more comfortable their children were after being able to be who they truly were. As there are parents out there who will refuse to let their transgender children be who they really are and misgender them and some outright abuse them, showing that there are kids out there who are so much happier after transitioning is really important. I think it's also very important that transgender individuals are being talked about when they're happy and healthy and that they're not just only being talked about when there a transgender person commits suicide or a trans person is assaulted. It also gets the word out that being transgender isn't a bad thing. During Jacob's segment they had a doctor talking about socially transitioning trans children (since they're too young to physically transition) which is something that sounds very overwhelming. It was just presented very well and showed that trans kids can be like completely different kids if allowed to be and accepted as the gender they actually are.

Also, Malisa is congressman Mike Honda's granddaughter so having someone who is in support of transgender people in such a position.. it's just nice to know that there's someone on the side of such a misunderstood group in a high position.

A few days ago on the 16th, I participated in the International Day of Silence. It's supposed to recognize those who have to keep silent about their sexuality. At first, I just thought it was something interesting to do. It later made me realize how supportive my school is of the LGBT+ cause; every teacher gave me the OK, and every classmate was like "coolio".

And I'd heard about that! It's great your school (and hopefully the rest of the community you live in) is supportive and accepting of LGBTQIA+ students! Especially since it sends a good message to closeted students at your school that they wouldn't be ridiculed for not being straight and/or cis.

Unfortunately at one high school in Pennsylvania an anti-gay day was held the same day their school was also doing the Day of Silence and continued doing things a few days following though. The guys that participated wore flannel and wrote "anti-gay" on the back of their hands and while that's already infuriating they also apparently hung intimidating signs on LGBTQIA+ students's lockers. As bigoted as what they did already was it just makes it worse that they singled out LGBT+ students as outing someone is dangerous especially if that person is only out at school or to a couple friends. However, some students did hold like a protest against what the select few homophobic students did and made sure to show that while there is some intolerance at the school there is also support.

-------------------------

Speaking of high school stuff though I saw two LGBT related "promposals"

This first I saw on twitter and the original tweet has almost 16k retweets and favorites in total

This one was posted on tumblr and currently has almost 70k notes!

-----------------------

And if anyone cares Bruce Jenner did an interview recently and said he will be transitioning to be a transwomen later this summer if I'm not mistaken. He said he preferred he/him pronouns though and stated that the new name he chose won't be released to the public. I didn't watch the thing so I can't really summarize it other than just picking out the points of the article that stuck out to me. Fortunately it seems that his family is being supportive of his decision to transition.

Kirsch · April 26, 2015

A couple days ago on the NBC national news there were stories on transgender children that are actually happy stories showcasing how the two kids featured really came out of their shells and were overall happier after (socially) transitioning. (If they do more stories on transgender kids I'll update this accordingly if needed.)

The first story was about a 5 year old transboy named Jacob and the second one was about an 8 year old transgirl named Malisa. The videos aren't sad at all and are mainly about showing that an early transition can save trans children from experience years and years of dysphoria, bullying, depression, anxiety, and other preventable mental health issues and just bad situations in general. The families were both incredibly supportive and overall just very emotional over how much more comfortable their children were after being able to be who they truly were. As there are parents out there who will refuse to let their transgender children be who they really are and misgender them and some outright abuse them, showing that there are kids out there who are so much happier after transitioning is really important. I think it's also very important that transgender individuals are being talked about when they're happy and healthy and that they're not just only being talked about when there a transgender person commits suicide or a trans person is assaulted. It also gets the word out that being transgender isn't a bad thing. During Jacob's segment they had a doctor talking about socially transitioning trans children (since they're too young to physically transition) which is something that sounds very overwhelming. It was just presented very well and showed that trans kids can be like completely different kids if allowed to be and accepted as the gender they actually are.

Also, Malisa is congressman Mike Honda's granddaughter so having someone who is in support of transgender people in such a position.. it's just nice to know that there's someone on the side of such a misunderstood group in a high position.

And I'd heard about that! It's great your school (and hopefully the rest of the community you live in) is supportive and accepting of LGBTQIA+ students! Especially since it sends a good message to closeted students at your school that they wouldn't be ridiculed for not being straight and/or cis.

Unfortunately at one high school in Pennsylvania an anti-gay day was held the same day their school was also doing the Day of Silence and continued doing things a few days following though. The guys that participated wore flannel and wrote "anti-gay" on the back of their hands and while that's already infuriating they also apparently hung intimidating signs on LGBTQIA+ students's lockers. As bigoted as what they did already was it just makes it worse that they singled out LGBT+ students as outing someone is dangerous especially if that person is only out at school or to a couple friends. However, some students did hold like a protest against what the select few homophobic students did and made sure to show that while there is some intolerance at the school there is also support.

-------------------------

Speaking of high school stuff though I saw two LGBT related "promposals"

This first I saw on twitter and the original tweet has almost 16k retweets and favorites in total

This one was posted on tumblr and currently has almost 70k notes!

-----------------------

And if anyone cares Bruce Jenner did an interview recently and said he will be transitioning to be a transwomen later this summer if I'm not mistaken. He said he preferred he/him pronouns though and stated that the new name he chose won't be released to the public. I didn't watch the thing so I can't really summarize it other than just picking out the points of the article that stuck out to me. Fortunately it seems that his family is being supportive of his decision to transition.

Ah, NBC really did their best to show their support. Both nights my family stuck around the television to watch that segment, and gosh, it was inspiring. What really amazed me was that both families reached out to help when they recognized their child's behavior being different, instead of passing it on.

machine · May 8, 2015

Ah, NBC really did their best to show their support. Both nights my family stuck around the television to watch that segment, and gosh, it was inspiring. What really amazed me was that both families reached out to help when they recognized their child's behavior being different, instead of passing it on.

It really was! I liked that they really focused on the benefits of transitioning trans kids early on too!

And I came across this video from The Daily Show which made me laugh a couple times.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJPJ8xI62gc

Oh! Today, May 8th, is Ace Visisbility Day on tumblr (and maybe on a couple other lgbt sites too...? Not quite sure but the post on tumblr has almost 65k notes so I'm sure it's spread some other places as well) where people in the ace community are going to be posting images or just pictures of playing card suits that correlate to their orientation. This was set up by theasexualityblog which specified that for the event the ace of hearts will be for alloromantic asexuals aka asexuals that regularly feel romantic attraction, the ace of spades will be for aromantic asexuals, the ace of diamonds will stand for demiromantic/demisexual and gray-aromantics/gray-asexuals, and the ace of clubs will be for individuals who know they fall on the aro/ace spectrum but aren't quite fully sure where. All the participating posts will be tagged with #AceDay

Today, May 17th, is International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia! The event's been going on since 2004 and originally started out as a day against only homophobia. However, in 2009 transphobia was included and this year biphobia was added. Their website shows that a couple little festivals and rallies happened worldwide which is really exciting since it's raising LGBT+ awareness in other countries, especially in countries like South Korea where deviating from "the norm" is very taboo. Though the day is mainly focused on homo- bi- and trans- phobia, it also raises awareness for gender and sexual minorities which is always great.

Metantei Kiddo · May 23, 2015

Welp, was messing around the internet and I came across the wikipedia page of Asexuality. It was defined as "refers to individual with low or absent sexual desire or attractions, low or absent sexual behaviors, exclusively romantic non-sexual partnerships, or a combination of both absent sexual desires and behaviors."

Just realized that I fall to that category... I never knew lol.

Kenzi · May 24, 2015

huzzah.

Metantei Kiddo · May 24, 2015

huzzah.

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/05/23/europe/ireland-referendum-same-sex-marriage/index.html

Derp. Catholic Nations seems to have no problem with LGBTs. Not wanting to start another debate again

Also, in connection with gender, Just wanna share this too. Almost all of them are countries with majority of the people being religious.

machine · May 24, 2015

Welp, was messing around the internet and I came across the wikipedia page of Asexuality. It was defined as "refers to individual with low or absent sexual desire or attractions, low or absent sexual behaviors, exclusively romantic non-sexual partnerships, or a combination of both absent sexual desires and behaviors."

Just realized that I fall to that category... I never knew lol.

Welcome to the community! :lol:

huzzah.

I heard about this earlier! It's great to see another country taking a step in the right direction--especially considering just how religious of a country Ireland is!

Metantei Kiddo · May 24, 2015

Welcome to the community!

I heard about this earlier! It's great to see another country taking a step in the right direction--especially considering just how religious of a country Ireland is!

I'm Overtly- Heteroromantic tho, so I still pretty much consider myself as a male. But yeah, I'm pretty much asexual so yeah thanks! xD

machine · May 24, 2015

I'm Overtly- Heteroromantic tho, so I still pretty much consider myself as a male. But yeah, I'm pretty much asexual so yeah thanks! xD

That's fine! The sentiment stands regardless haha

I'm glad you don't seem too bothered by it too since I know quite a few people that are very unhappy they fall on the asexual/aromantic spectrum D:

Metantei Kiddo · May 24, 2015

That's fine! The sentiment stands regardless haha

I'm glad you don't seem too bothered by it too since I know quite a few people that are very unhappy they fall on the asexual/aromantic spectrum D:

Yeah :3

Yeah that's true, I'm really not super bothered with it! Being an optimist myself, I see more positives in being asexual. I mean we (asexual romantics in general) start relationships basing on emotional attachment instead of physical ones. We tend to be really interested in compatibility qualities in terms of personality and stuffs other than just physical qualities which drives sexual attraction. And we all know how long lasting relationships happen, it's more of the compatibility and emotional attachment than physical attraction.

Anyways, I'm not completely asexual. I'm in the gray area between Hetero and Asexual, I'm really really just close to asexuality so I can consider myself one. So yeah, I'm still able to be physically attracted to someone. It's just that I'll never pursue a relationship ~~or do something stupid~~ with someone just basing on it. I'll never ever ever be interested in that kind of thinking.

Oh btw, in the whole context, you can interchange physical attraction with sexual attraction. I think they're pretty much the same...?

Oooh. You know people who are aromantic? I'm not saying that that there is something wrong with them but... that's really really just sad... I mean I can't even put myself in their shoes. I just can't imagine not ever being 'in love' or something. I mean yeah, I can go on in denial of my own feelings but gah... someone who can never really fall in love... that's a nightmare for me. It's like everyone is talking about love and stuffs and you have never felt it yourself. T___T So, I think I can understand them. I can feel their sorrow, unhappiness and pain... T__________T Mostly, these kind of people want to be 'cured', right...?

EDIT: Welp, with some help from thinking and google. Physical attraction and sexual attraction are both different thing. That's why we have terms hot for someone you find sexually attractive and Handsome/Beautiful/Gorgeous for someone we find physically pleasing. So yeah, what I meant in the context is the former. And additionally, asexuals can find someone physically attractive but not in a sexual way.

Edited May 24, 2015 by MKay

CadmiumSparks · May 24, 2015

Yeah :3

Yeah that's true, I'm really not super bothered with it! Being an optimist myself, I see more positives in being asexual. I mean we (asexual romantics in general) start relationships basing on emotional attachment instead of physical ones. We tend to be really interested in compatibility qualities in terms of personality and stuffs other than just physical qualities which drives sexual attraction. And we all know how long lasting relationships happen, it's more of the compatibility and emotional attachment than physical attraction.

Anyways, I'm not completely asexual. I'm in the gray area between Hetero and Asexual, I'm really really just close to asexuality so I can consider myself one. So yeah, I'm still able to be physically attracted to someone. It's just that I'll never pursue a relationship ~~or do something stupid~~ with someone just basing on it. I'll never ever ever be interested in that kind of thinking.

Oh btw, in the whole context, you can interchange physical attraction with sexual attraction. I think they're pretty much the same...?

Oooh. You know people who are aromantic? I'm not saying that that there is something wrong with them but... that's really really just sad... I mean I can't even put myself in their shoes. I just can't imagine not ever being 'in love' or something. I mean yeah, I can go on in denial of my own feelings but gah... someone who can never really fall in love... that's a nightmare for me. It's like everyone is talking about love and stuffs and you have never felt it yourself. T___T So, I think I can understand them. I can feel their sorrow, unhappiness and pain... T__________T Mostly, these kind of people want to be 'cured', right...?

I also don't feel 'that' love with anyone. That means, according to wikipedia meaning, I'm asexual?!

There are these talks that nowadays kids even below 5 yrs old, are recognizing their gender. Considering this issue with some present Celebrities’' children, I think it's pretty much normal if kids can identify themselves as trans, 'cause many still feel it's some kind of violation to their 'original' gender...!

Metantei Kiddo · May 24, 2015

I also don't feel 'that' love with anyone. That means, according to wikipedia meaning, I'm asexual?!

There are these talks that nowadays kids even below 5 yrs old, are recognizing their gender. Considering this issue with some present Celebrities’' children, I think it's pretty much normal if kids can identify themselves as trans, 'cause many still feel it's some kind of violation to their 'original' gender...!

You mean the thingy? Yeah. If you don't feel the thingy, you are most likely asexual but ofc, there are some exceptions. If you are somewhat a kid from before puberty (if you are, why are you in this thread? :VVV), it's unlikely that you can feel the thingy. It's only when you hit puberty when you finally are able to feel youknowwhat attractions to someone. I honestly think that's when you know your true gender. On the other hand, physical and personality attraction, I think, are somewhat already present even before you hit the thing. Heck, I already had a crush when I was just around first grade xDDDD But of course,there are again some exceptions, those people who are born aromantics.

Haha, Gender is in our genes. So yeah, you'll probably have already a premonition of what your gender will be just before hitting puberty. But I dunno about kids under 5 being able to tell themselves, haha, can they even talk properly, think properly and say they are trans? xD It's most likely that it was the parents who noticed something different from them.

Kenzi · May 24, 2015

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/05/23/europe/ireland-referendum-same-sex-marriage/index.html

Derp. Catholic Nations seems to have no problem with LGBTs. Not wanting to start another debate again

Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with that. It's a step in the right direction and any progress should be welcomed, in my opinion.

I heard about this earlier! It's great to see another country taking a step in the right direction--especially considering just how religious of a country Ireland is!

I'm not religious or anything but I thought that it was a really nice coincidence, haha.

Metantei Kiddo · May 24, 2015

Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with that. It's a step in the right direction and any progress should be welcomed, in my opinion.

Well, what I meant there is the debate about whether religion has an effect on voting against LGBTs. IMO, it doesn't much affect it, as long as the religion they adhere in isn't that very strict. And Irish people voting for Same Sex Marriage is already a proof of that.

Balthazar Manfredie · May 24, 2015

i guess everyone has their own idea on what religion should be like

CadmiumSparks · May 24, 2015

You mean the thingy? Yeah. If you don't feel the thingy, you are most likely asexual but ofc, there are some exceptions. If you are somewhat a kid from before puberty (if you are, why are you in this thread? :VVV), it's unlikely that you can feel the thingy. It's only when you hit puberty when you finally are able to feel youknowwhat attractions to someone. I honestly think that's when you know your true gender. On the other hand, physical and personality attraction, I think, are somewhat already present even before you hit the thing. Heck, I already had a crush when I was just around first grade xDDDD But of course,there are again some exceptions, those people who are born aromantics.

Haha, Gender is in our genes. So yeah, you'll probably have already a premonition of what your gender will be just before hitting puberty. But I dunno about kids under 5 being able to tell themselves, haha, can they even talk properly, think properly and say they are trans? xD It's most likely that it was the parents who noticed something different from them.

~~I am a teenager, not a kid!~~

I had some crushes, but they are past and currently I don't see myself other than single in future. And really a crush in first grade?!! Anyways, I totally agree with your concept about 'kids identifying their own gender' thing.

i guess everyone has their own idea on what religion should be like

I can't agree more

machine · May 25, 2015

Yeah :3

Yeah that's true, I'm really not super bothered with it! Being an optimist myself, I see more positives in being asexual. I mean we (asexual romantics in general) start relationships basing on emotional attachment instead of physical ones. We tend to be really interested in compatibility qualities in terms of personality and stuffs other than just physical qualities which drives sexual attraction. And we all know how long lasting relationships happen, it's more of the compatibility and emotional attachment than physical attraction.

Anyways, I'm not completely asexual. I'm in the gray area between Hetero and Asexual, I'm really really just close to asexuality so I can consider myself one. So yeah, I'm still able to be physically attracted to someone. It's just that I'll never pursue a relationship ~~or do something stupid~~ with someone just basing on it. I'll never ever ever be interested in that kind of thinking.

Oh btw, in the whole context, you can interchange physical attraction with sexual attraction. I think they're pretty much the same...?

Oooh. You know people who are aromantic? I'm not saying that that there is something wrong with them but... that's really really just sad... I mean I can't even put myself in their shoes. I just can't imagine not ever being 'in love' or something. I mean yeah, I can go on in denial of my own feelings but gah... someone who can never really fall in love... that's a nightmare for me. It's like everyone is talking about love and stuffs and you have never felt it yourself. T___T So, I think I can understand them. I can feel their sorrow, unhappiness and pain... T__________T Mostly, these kind of people want to be 'cured', right...?

EDIT: Welp, with some help from thinking and google. Physical attraction and sexual attraction are both different thing. That's why we have terms hot for someone you find sexually attractive and Handsome/Beautiful/Gorgeous for someone we find physically pleasing. So yeah, what I meant in the context is the former. And additionally, asexuals can find someone physically attractive but not in a sexual way.

Yeah asexuality certainly does have its upsides haha. The having relationships based more so on emotions than sexual attraction is definitely a huge one for a lot romantic aces. One of the worst aspects of asexuality is realizing not everyone else also has this type of thinking though. It's sorta like once you realize how nice it is that there are other people like yourself who value emotions and compatibility in relationships you don't really get why other people care more about the sexual aspect of relationships. (like there's a ton of articles out there about how all healthy, long term, successful intimate relationships need sex and just... no????? like it's fine if they do but it probably shouldn't be a necessity and a deal breaker ...right? Then again, different people have different ideals and needs so it's hard to say)

Ah I see! Solely going off your short paragraph, perhaps you could be demisexual..? Demisexual people only feel sexual attraction to people once some type of emotion bond has been established. Regardless of whether or not you turn out to be demisexual, you're still graysexual/gray-a like you said

The physical attraction you're referring to is most often referred to as aesthetic attraction since physical attraction can initially sound a little misleading as it sounds like you could be referring to sensual attraction (though 'sensual' has a somewhat sexual definition, the connotation it has in the ace community isn't necessarily sexual) which is the attraction you feel towards people you wanna cuddle and hold hands with.

With the aromantic thing though, I do know a couple aromantics and I even fall on the aro spectrum! It's not as though aromantics don't feel any love at all, most, if not all of us feel platonic attraction and usually very strong emotional attraction towards other people, it's just that that's as far as our intimate feelings go. We appreciate others' presence, being around them, being apart of their life, and being important to them but even with the people we have that sort of relationship with and find aesthetically attractive we don't feel the desire to have a romantic relationship with them. Some aromantics do want to be "normal" but just because one's aromantic doesn't mean they can't do romantic things and appear "normal". A lot of aromantics actually want and search out queerplatonic partners. QP relationships aren't based on romantic and/or sexual feelings (though their fondness for each other might be expressed through romantic/sexual means) and are just two people who feel very emotionally attracted and connected to one another. In short, we value friendships and platonic relationships as highly as people who feel romantic and/or sexual attraction value intimate relationships.

Some aromantics do detest the fact that they don't have the capacity to understand romantic relationships but since queerplatonic relationships are a thing it gives some of us hope that we can still have close relationships. (I say 'some' because there are aromantics out there that are happily single and don't want nor feel the need to have a significant other) You're right about it feeling terrible to have literally everything buzzing about romance and not being able to understand it much at all. It feels like you're missing out on something amazing considering how high of a pedestal romance is put on. It's also a pain to see it everywhere, so many movies and books are littered with unnecessary romantic plots and subplots and it just gets irritating after a while.

I also don't feel 'that' love with anyone. That means, according to wikipedia meaning, I'm asexual?!

There are these talks that nowadays kids even below 5 yrs old, are recognizing their gender. Considering this issue with some present Celebrities’' children, I think it's pretty much normal if kids can identify themselves as trans, 'cause many still feel it's some kind of violation to their 'original' gender...!

If you think you also fall on the ace spectrum first of all, welcome to the community as well , and secondly, I'd like to point you in the direction of the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (aka AVEN) if you don't mind since there's a lot of good information regarding asexuality and just the ace spectrum in general over there!

As for the gender thing, I think it's great that not only young kids can recognize they're trans but that their parents are recognizing and accepting that their child is transgender! Trans kids getting support from their families and being allowed and encouraged to dress the way they feel most comfortable from an early age is especially important!

Haha, Gender is in our genes. So yeah, you'll probably have already a premonition of what your gender will be just before hitting puberty. But I dunno about kids under 5 being able to tell themselves, haha, can they even talk properly, think properly and say they are trans? xD It's most likely that it was the parents who noticed something different from them.

I know some kids know they're trans pretty early on, the youngest ones I've seen have realized they're trans at age 2 which is around the time children start speaking simple sentences. Obviously, when they're that young that can't express themselves very clearly but if you have a little girl saying she wants to be or is a boy, is refusing to dress in girl clothes, and is always gravitating towards the boys sections in stores, (s)he probably has a better idea of their gender identity than what we're giving them credit for. Then again, with kids younger than 5 you have to be a little cautious since they're changing a lot but even so, their parent(s) would probably be able to tell by then whether it was just a phase or not. ~~And then the thing you have to worry about is whether or not the parents are aware being transgender is even a thing~~

i guess everyone has their own idea on what religion should be like

Very true!

Metantei Kiddo · May 26, 2015

i guess everyone has their own idea on what religion should be like

One thing is for sure I'll never follow a Religious System.

~~I am a teenager, not a kid!~~

I had some crushes, but they are past and currently I don't see myself other than single in future. And really a crush in first grade?!! Anyways, I totally agree with your concept about 'kids identifying their own gender' thing.

I can't agree more

Whoa. We're the same. I seriously see myself being single in forever xD I've never been an active dater myself nor did I ever date anyone. It's just that I like love the come naturally than being forced to random dates and stuffs. And I'm totally fine with being alone in forever. I mean I see advantages to that kind of thinking same goes with not-being alone forever. They both have their advantages and disadvantages. So either way I end up on, I'm super good with it.

Haha, I know some friends of mine who just goes on random dates to be not labelled single or I find persons who goes nuts if you present to them the idea of being alone for the rest of their lives xD

Yeah, I did. Funny right? I really blame my overactive romanticity. (invented word) I tend to easily fall in love for some reason and I really really hate it. I sometimes really wish I was aromantic :V

Yeah asexuality certainly does have its upsides haha. The having relationships based more so on emotions than sexual attraction is definitely a huge one for a lot romantic aces. One of the worst aspects of asexuality is realizing not everyone else also has this type of thinking though. It's sorta like once you realize how nice it is that there are other people like yourself who value emotions and compatibility in relationships you don't really get why other people care more about the sexual aspect of relationships. (like there's a ton of articles out there about how all healthy, long term, successful intimate relationships need sex and just... no????? like it's fine if they do but it probably shouldn't be a necessity and a deal breaker ...right? Then again, different people have different ideals and needs so it's hard to say)

Ah I see! Solely going off your short paragraph, perhaps you could be demisexual..? Demisexual people only feel sexual attraction to people once some type of emotion bond has been established. Regardless of whether or not you turn out to be demisexual, you're still graysexual/gray-a like you said

The physical attraction you're referring to is most often referred to as aesthetic attraction since physical attraction can initially sound a little misleading as it sounds like you could be referring to sensual attraction (though 'sensual' has a somewhat sexual definition, the connotation it has in the ace community isn't necessarily sexual) which is the attraction you feel towards people you wanna cuddle and hold hands with.

With the aromantic thing though, I do know a couple aromantics and I even fall on the aro spectrum! It's not as though aromantics don't feel any love at all, most, if not all of us feel platonic attraction and usually very strong emotional attraction towards other people, it's just that that's as far as our intimate feelings go. We appreciate others' presence, being around them, being apart of their life, and being important to them but even with the people we have that sort of relationship with and find aesthetically attractive we don't feel the desire to have a romantic relationship with them. Some aromantics do want to be "normal" but just because one's aromantic doesn't mean they can't do romantic things and appear "normal". A lot of aromantics actually want and search out queerplatonic partners. QP relationships aren't based on romantic and/or sexual feelings (though their fondness for each other might be expressed through romantic/sexual means) and are just two people who feel very emotionally attracted and connected to one another. In short, we value friendships and platonic relationships as highly as people who feel romantic and/or sexual attraction value intimate relationships.

Some aromantics do detest the fact that they don't have the capacity to understand romantic relationships but since queerplatonic relationships are a thing it gives some of us hope that we can still have close relationships. (I say 'some' because there are aromantics out there that are happily single and don't want nor feel the need to have a significant other) You're right about it feeling terrible to have literally everything buzzing about romance and not being able to understand it much at all. It feels like you're missing out on something amazing considering how high of a pedestal romance is put on. It's also a pain to see it everywhere, so many movies and books are littered with unnecessary romantic plots and subplots and it just gets irritating after a while.

As for the gender thing, I think it's great that not only young kids can recognize they're trans but that their parents are recognizing and accepting that their child is transgender! Trans kids getting support from their families and being allowed and encouraged to dress the way they feel most comfortable from an early age is especially important!

I know some kids know they're trans pretty early on, the youngest ones I've seen have realized they're trans at age 2 which is around the time children start speaking simple sentences. Obviously, when they're that young that can't express themselves very clearly but if you have a little girl saying she wants to be or is a boy, is refusing to dress in girl clothes, and is always gravitating towards the boys sections in stores, (s)he probably has a better idea of their gender identity than what we're giving them credit for. Then again, with kids younger than 5 you have to be a little cautious since they're changing a lot but even so, their parent(s) would probably be able to tell by then whether it was just a phase or not. ~~And then the thing you have to worry about is whether or not the parents are aware being transgender is even a thing~~

Yeah, that's kinda true. I really don't get it why some people really value Sex Appeal over Emotional Bonding. Plus, as what you said, I dunno why even that thingy is a necessity for a really healthy relationship. And on the article thingy, yeah that's really true. Most of the time, it's guys who writes these stuffs. I just hate how guys are really conditioned by society that the more sexual partners you had, the better. It's like a trophy thingy which is just super stupid. I'm not just blaming the guys coz I think both gender or other genders have their own faults for it; Guys pursuing someone for the sake of the thing not becoz they really like the person and Girls/Gays easily giving in to them then they go all whining how they were just used. It's just so stupid. Haha, anyways, I'm so off-topic but I dunno... I think it's applicable to all relationships even on Lesbos or Gays and such. It's just that it's more prevalent on heteros. And yup, people have different ideas and I think we should just respect that.

I don't think I'm demisexual. I think I just fall on to the Gray-A category.

Nah, I really mean sexual attraction which is you know what it means. Anyways, I can both feel Aesthetic Attraction and Sensual Attraction on normal proportions. And I really think Sensual Attraction is completely different from the sexual attraction thingy, I mean as a Romanticist, I might have an urge to hug someone I really like or love to death or hold hands with, as you said but there's no sexual connotations with it.

*sigh* I'm honestly completely out of words with what you said coz I can't imagine myself in your shoes. It's like describing a color to a blind man from birth. I have no idea what it feels like. I never even experienced a strong platonic relationship myself. As a guy, it's really rare to have another guy friend where you'll really defend fiercely each other no matter what. And it's more rarer to have girl/gay/lesbo best friend without any romantic or sexual attachment(friends with benefits) to it unless ofc, they're siblings. On the other hand, on the opposite of the spectrum, strong platonic relationships between girls or girls to gays or girls to lesbos are really widespread. Anyways, I understand what you mean by you being appreciative of the thingies and I know what you mean by that coz me too, everyone really knows me, knows that I have lots of friends from different genders and really, I might find someone attractive aesthetically or in-personality but it doesn't me I want to pursue a romantic relationship with that person. The person itself can differentiate it.

I see that you can still appear "normal" but in the end, you're just doing it to appear "normal" not becoz you really want to. And for me, that's really hard to imagine and I feel sad about it. I'm really sorry, btw, for my wordings. Anyways, I can't see being with someone who I really just see as a "friend", as a Romantic person. Man, we are so opposite on our views on this.

Well, I see some positives on valuing friendships just like a romantic would value his/her partner. I mean at least you'll treat your friends equally and your sole focus is on them, unlike us romantics, we would of course put our partners first before our friends which causes us to lose some of them sometimes, especially on the side of the girl.

Haha, it's so funny that me, being a romantic, finds it okay to be alone for the rest of my life. Well, I hope you find someone, then, if that's what you really want :3

Well, I understand your pain really coz even tho I'm a romantic, I've never been in a committed relationship myself so we're pretty much tie on this. xD I mean there are lots of literary work about couples out there and I'm just like "Wut?" and I also find them irritating most of the time. Anyways, just to clear this out. Some people see romantics as people who are relationship crazed but not all are like that. Coz if you see, my case doesn't add up. I mean I'm a romantic but I've never been in a relationship. Well, some of us have really really high standards in choosing our partners and we will never pursue someone who falls flat even tho we find them attractive or something. And even when we find someone like that, we end up getting rejected or some sort

I dunno about Children finding their gender already coz I really believe that it's when you hit puberty that you'll really know your preference. But yeah, I'm totally fine with Children being dressed appropriately but I think it should be on the Kid's consent not when the parents found signs of a transgenderism on their child.

Well with your given example, I guess this happens then. Anyways, I stated my opinion above. Let the kids choose what they want to wear and stuffs even if it dynamically changes. It shouldn't matter much. And also, it's what I'm saying. Kids are in constant change so I believe it's impossible to really say what their preference of gender is on that point of time. One can be completely straight on his/her childhood years but it can suddenly turn a complete 180 degrees on hitting puberty.

Haha, here in my country, I think the only gender recognized currently are Gay and Lesbians. Asexuality isn't yet recognized. I even think in the most country it's not yet there. I never even knew that I'm asexual. I just always considered myself hetero even tho I'm not interested in the thingy coz I really believed that Romantic preference is just as a pointer to sexuality as with sexual preference. So, I highly doubt my parents even know what Asexuality is xD

CadmiumSparks · May 26, 2015

Yeah asexuality certainly does have its upsides haha. The having relationships based more so on emotions than sexual attraction is definitely a huge one for a lot romantic aces. One of the worst aspects of asexuality is realizing not everyone else also has this type of thinking though. It's sorta like once you realize how nice it is that there are other people like yourself who value emotions and compatibility in relationships you don't really get why other people care more about the sexual aspect of relationships. (like there's a ton of articles out there about how all healthy, long term, successful intimate relationships need sex and just... no????? like it's fine if they do but it probably shouldn't be a necessity and a deal breaker ...right? Then again, different people have different ideals and needs so it's hard to say)

Some aromantics do detest the fact that they don't have the capacity to understand romantic relationships but since queerplatonic relationships are a thing it gives some of us hope that we can still have close relationships. (I say 'some' because there are aromantics out there that are happily single and don't want nor feel the need to have a significant other) You're right about it feeling terrible to have literally everything buzzing about romance and not being able to understand it much at all. It feels like you're missing out on something amazing considering how high of a pedestal romance is put on. It's also a pain to see it everywhere, so many movies and books are littered with unnecessary romantic plots and subplots and it just gets irritating after a while.

If you think you also fall on the ace spectrum first of all, welcome to the community as well , and secondly, I'd like to point you in the direction of the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (aka AVEN) if you don't mind since there's a lot of good information regarding asexuality and just the ace spectrum in general over there!

As for the gender thing, I think it's great that not only young kids can recognize they're trans but that their parents are recognizing and accepting that their child is transgender! Trans kids getting support from their families and being allowed and encouraged to dress the way they feel most comfortable from an early age is especially important!

People do have different tastes, but then again it seems the whole world is now only concerned about healthy sex life in articles, or films showing different levels of it, and revolutions or debates.

And that's why I'm here. I checked that site, it seems nice and interesting..thank you!

Yeah, Parents definetely should give children the right to choose whatever they want. I don't get it why still some parents are so stereotypical, like as if their children are abnormal when deciding their own gender. It frightens me when I hear those deppressed and oppressed people ultimately commit suicide just to avoid the increasing anger of the society

Whoa. We're the same. I seriously see myself being single in forever xD I've never been an active dater myself nor did I ever date anyone. It's just that I like love the come naturally than being forced to random dates and stuffs. And I'm totally fine with being alone in forever. I mean I see advantages to that kind of thinking same goes with not-being alone forever. They both have their advantages and disadvantages. So either way I end up on, I'm super good with it.

Haha, I know some friends of mine who just goes on random dates to be not labelled single or I find persons who goes nuts if you present to them the idea of being alone for the rest of their lives xD

Yeah, I did. Funny right? I really blame my overactive romanticity. (invented word) I tend to easily fall in love for some reason and I really really hate it. I sometimes really wish I was aromantic :V

Yeah, that's kinda true. I really don't get it why some people really value Sex Appeal over Emotional Bonding. Plus, as what you said, I dunno why even that thingy is a necessity for a really healthy relationship. And on the article thingy, yeah that's really true. Most of the time, it's guys who writes these stuffs. I just hate how guys are really conditioned by society that the more sexual partners you had, the better. It's like a trophy thingy which is just super stupid. I'm not just blaming the guys coz I think both gender or other genders have their own faults for it; Guys pursuing someone for the sake of the thing not becoz they really like the person and Girls/Gays easily giving in to them then they go all whining how they were just used. It's just so stupid. Haha, anyways, I'm so off-topic but I dunno... I think it's applicable to all relationships even on Lesbos or Gays and such. It's just that it's more prevalent on heteros. And yup, people have different ideas and I think we should just respect that.

Haha, here in my country, I think the only gender recognized currently are Gay and Lesbians. Asexuality isn't yet recognized. I even think in the most country it's not yet there. I never even knew that I'm asexual. I just always considered myself hetero even tho I'm not interested in the thingy coz I really believed that Romantic preference is just as a pointer to sexuality as with sexual preference. So, I highly doubt my parents even know what Asexuality is xD

Here I am, sitting and thinking how you guys really respect asexual people?! I mean, seriously, after I get no such attention for my unique opinon in my school?

I reallyreally like that there are several people who think being single is advantageous sometimes. It irritates (mostly offends) me to find no end to everywhere the one and only think people do, eat, and sleep with is love, and mostly in sexual terms. The platonic or the emotional bonding is nowhere I find now. I really freakin do like emotional connections, ~~nothing can be that lovely~~!

Even my friends too..like this dating and chatting and having those ~~disgusting things~~ are the onlyreasons they are alive!

Don't blame yourself, that romanticity (so what if it's not a word?) is essential in everyone's life

Idk even my parents don't know I'm asexual, I hope they've already figured that by themselves...

Metantei Kiddo · June 14, 2015

Here I am, sitting and thinking how you guys really respect asexual people?! I mean, seriously, after I get no such attention for my unique opinon in my school?

I reallyreally like that there are several people who think being single is advantageous sometimes. It irritates (mostly offends) me to find no end to everywhere the one and only think people do, eat, and sleep with is love, and mostly in sexual terms. The platonic or the emotional bonding is nowhere I find now. I really freakin do like emotional connections, ~~nothing can be that lovely~~!

Even my friends too..like this dating and chatting and having those ~~disgusting things~~ are the onlyreasons they are alive!

Don't blame yourself, that romanticity (so what if it's not a word?) is essential in everyone's life

Idk even my parents don't know I'm asexual, I hope they've already figured that by themselves...

Yeah, that's kinda true. Most relationships nowadays are more centered on lust/sexual stuffs than the emotional bonding itself and I think that's why most relationships don't last. I mean some people are so attracted to a person sexually/physically and they pursue relationship with them just for that sake. Well, in the end, they find out that they're really 'incompatible', personality or emotionally wise, and they're the complete opposites of one another or they're too similar. Either way, it never works. The couple just ends up bored of each other if they're way too similar or always arguing if they're the complete opposites.

Numbers don't lie :3 Divorce rates in all parts of the world inflated as the relationships, focused more on sexual attraction and physical attraction, became more mainstream.

Don't get me wrong tho. I think Physical attraction, not sexual, is still very important for a good relationship. I mean lol, how the heck can you talk to your face to face partner if you can't even look at them becoz you find them really unattractive? xDDD

Anyways, I'm so off topic. Gahdeym you ADHD

Haha, no emotional bonding nowadays? Blame our "speed is key" culture era... where everything a person want is given instantly Even relationships xD Too lazy/busy/impatient to invest time knowing someone and building emotional bonding? Go Speed Dating or Go dating someone you just met a week ago I assure you, you're heart would get numb from all the heartbreaks, you'll experience

Nyah... Off topic again

I dunno if it's essential really It's just a toxin that destroys my life, JK xD

---

Haha, my dad still probably thinks I'm gay or something :P Asexuality is still really a new term.

machine · June 26, 2015

First things first, I started writing this at the end of May, my laptop restarted a couple days ago and lost everything I had written, and because I had finals and two big tests last week and had family stuff recently so I didn't get time until now to rewrite anything so sorry for the wait! ~~dear lord this took a long time to write~~

That being said, happy LGBT Pride Month! :lol: This month if you google LGBT or the words making up the acronym Google displays a rainbow banner at the top of the page. When I first tried it a couple days ago asexual and pansexual weren't included in this but when I tried it today they both got the banner as well!

--Since I've been working on this sporadically over the month the news stories have been in chronological order but this is too important to go towards the end! The United States Supreme Court ruled in favor of same sex marriage!! The vote was only 5-4 but this means same sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states! This is a huge win for all Americans today because even if you, yourself aren't affected by this decision, your family/friends might be! The fight for LGBTQIA+ equality isn't over but this is a huge, huge, huge step in the right direction! To have this happen during Pride month only makes it better too! Congrats to any and all couples personally affected by this decision and are now married or engaged as of today!

Probably the most well known story is that earlier this month it was revealed that Caitlyn Jenner will be/is on the cover of this month's Vanity Fair! Caitlyn, formerly known as Bruce, finally showed us what she looks post transition and told the world her new name! She looks really good too, especially considering her age! This got a lot of media coverage and for the most part the news stations and people that misgendered Caitlyn were all condemned for it. And despite a petition going up to have her Olympic medals revoked the International Olympic Committee have stated that they won't strip her of her medals! (Vanity Fair article)

Target released an LGBT Pride Month related ad the other day. The message is nice and it's nice to see another LGBT+ accepting brand

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ji8OpjSCXE

Miley Cyrus recently came out as genderqueer/nonbinary (genderfluid to be more exact) and pansexual(..?). In a photoshoot and interview with Paper Magazine she said, "I am literally open to every single thing that is consenting and doesn't involve an animal and everyone is of age. Everything that's legal, I'm down with. Yo, I'm down with any adult--anyone over the age of 18 who is down to love me. ... I don't relate to being boy or girl, and I don't have to have my partner relate to boy or girl." She didn't use any labels or terms specifically but the way she worded things matches the definition of pansexual and nonbinary. Some people are skeptical of her saying this could just be a ploy to get attention for herself or her recently launched Happy Hippie Foundation which helps homeless and LGBT youth. It'd be angering if it turns out this whole thing is a lie but assuming it's not, it's nice to get such good awareness for pansexuality and genderqueer identities since they're glossed over quite a bit. (Paper Magazine article --Pictures in the article are NSFW)

Youtuber Ingrid Nilsen came out earlier this month via an emotional youtube video. She explained her experience with struggling with the fact that she is gay and her coming out and acceptance process. Congratulations to Ingrid! Coming out, especially to such a large audience can be a very challenging, hard thing to do and I think she handled it really well!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eh7WRYXVh9M

Unfortunately, not all LGBT news this month is good news. Michigan Governor Rick Synder signed in a law that would allow faith based adoption agencies to deny service to same sex couples/families. So y'know in other words this is essentially saying that certain adoption centers could not give kids the opportunity to go into loving homes if that home just so happen to be a family with two dads or two moms. I just.... ohm y god why (huffington post article)

Yeah, that's kinda true. I really don't get it why some people really value Sex Appeal over Emotional Bonding. Plus, as what you said, I dunno why even that thingy is a necessity for a really healthy relationship. And on the article thingy, yeah that's really true. Most of the time, it's guys who writes these stuffs. I just hate how guys are really conditioned by society that the more sexual partners you had, the better. It's like a trophy thingy which is just super stupid. I'm not just blaming the guys coz I think both gender or other genders have their own faults for it; Guys pursuing someone for the sake of the thing not becoz they really like the person and Girls/Gays easily giving in to them then they go all whining how they were just used. It's just so stupid. Haha, anyways, I'm so off-topic but I dunno... I think it's applicable to all relationships even on Lesbos or Gays and such. It's just that it's more prevalent on heteros. And yup, people have different ideas and I think we should just respect that.

I don't think I'm demisexual. I think I just fall on to the Gray-A category.

Nah, I really mean sexual attraction which is you know what it means. Anyways, I can both feel Aesthetic Attraction and Sensual Attraction on normal proportions. And I really think Sensual Attraction is completely different from the sexual attraction thingy, I mean as a Romanticist, I might have an urge to hug someone I really like or love to death or hold hands with, as you said but there's no sexual connotations with it.

*sigh* I'm honestly completely out of words with what you said coz I can't imagine myself in your shoes. It's like describing a color to a blind man from birth. I have no idea what it feels like. I never even experienced a strong platonic relationship myself. As a guy, it's really rare to have another guy friend where you'll really defend fiercely each other no matter what. And it's more rarer to have girl/gay/lesbo best friend without any romantic or sexual attachment(friends with benefits) to it unless ofc, they're siblings. On the other hand, on the opposite of the spectrum, strong platonic relationships between girls or girls to gays or girls to lesbos are really widespread. Anyways, I understand what you mean by you being appreciative of the thingies and I know what you mean by that coz me too, everyone really knows me, knows that I have lots of friends from different genders and really, I might find someone attractive aesthetically or in-personality but it doesn't me I want to pursue a romantic relationship with that person. The person itself can differentiate it.

I see that you can still appear "normal" but in the end, you're just doing it to appear "normal" not becoz you really want to. And for me, that's really hard to imagine and I feel sad about it. I'm really sorry, btw, for my wordings. Anyways, I can't see being with someone who I really just see as a "friend", as a Romantic person. Man, we are so opposite on our views on this.

Well, I see some positives on valuing friendships just like a romantic would value his/her partner. I mean at least you'll treat your friends equally and your sole focus is on them, unlike us romantics, we would of course put our partners first before our friends which causes us to lose some of them sometimes, especially on the side of the girl.

Haha, it's so funny that me, being a romantic, finds it okay to be alone for the rest of my life. Well, I hope you find someone, then, if that's what you really want :3
Well, I understand your pain really coz even tho I'm a romantic, I've never been in a committed relationship myself so we're pretty much tie on this. xD I mean there are lots of literary work about couples out there and I'm just like "Wut?" and I also find them irritating most of the time. Anyways, just to clear this out. Some people see romantics as people who are relationship crazed but not all are like that. Coz if you see, my case doesn't add up. I mean I'm a romantic but I've never been in a relationship. Well, some of us have really really high standards in choosing our partners and we will never pursue someone who falls flat even tho we find them attractive or something. And even when we find someone like that, we end up getting rejected or some sort

I dunno about Children finding their gender already coz I really believe that it's when you hit puberty that you'll really know your preference. But yeah, I'm totally fine with Children being dressed appropriately but I think it should be on the Kid's consent not when the parents found signs of a transgenderism on their child.

Well with your given example, I guess this happens then. Anyways, I stated my opinion above. Let the kids choose what they want to wear and stuffs even if it dynamically changes. It shouldn't matter much. And also, it's what I'm saying. Kids are in constant change so I believe it's impossible to really say what their preference of gender is on that point of time. One can be completely straight on his/her childhood years but it can suddenly turn a complete 180 degrees on hitting puberty.

Haha, here in my country, I think the only gender recognized currently are Gay and Lesbians. Asexuality isn't yet recognized. I even think in the most country it's not yet there. I never even knew that I'm asexual. I just always considered myself hetero even tho I'm not interested in the thingy coz I really believed that Romantic preference is just as a pointer to sexuality as with sexual preference. So, I highly doubt my parents even know what Asexuality is xD

(I wrote a lot ~~holy crap~~ sorry if I accidentally skipped any parts too! It just started looking like a wall of text at some point haha)

I never really got how people valued sexual attraction over emotional attraction too.

It really isn't! For people who want their relationships to have a lot of sex, that's fine but it's not fine that so many people who think like that are so vocal about their intolerance of people who don't agree with them. What happens or doesn't happen in someone else's bedroom isn't their business so why they're so against it is just really baffling. If a couple can be perfectly happy just cuddling every night or simply being in each other's presence, good for them.

With sex being put on a pedestal for guys and their partners, whether it be their girlfriend or boyfriend, giving into their pressuring to sleep together, I don't think they complain afterwards solely because they felt used. In most situations it seems that they felt pressured. They wanted to please their partner only to realize after they'd done it that they weren't ready to take that step yet. Sex can be a very emotionally involved thing for some people and sorta waking up afterwards realizing you weren't ready can understandably leave one feeling pretty horrible. It could lead to them being used, especially if they keep giving in because they want to make their partner happy. It's most likely just a communication problem though so avoiding getting yourself into such a situation probably isn't too hard. Having a partner that completely respects your boundaries is also a way to prevent yourself from ending up in a similar situation. You, yourself making sure you're not pressuring your partner is just as important too though. Saying it's stupid for someone to regret sleeping with someone kinda distracts from the actual problem at hand which is a lack of communication (or in the worst case scenario, a lack of respect) between the two, or more, parties.

Digressing a little bit, it is bad that society really urges boys, especially teenaged ones, that having lots of sexual partners is a good thing. Especially since teenagers can't always get their hands on condoms/birth control and that sex education is, at least the US, embarrassingly bad and not realistic. This can be a very gray area topic though since you don't want to slut shame those who hook up more often than other people but you also don't want to teach impressionable kids that sex is some badge of honor and those without the badge are lesser or on the opposite side of the problem, that losing your v-card before marriage "tarnishes" your purity for your future husband/wife.

Ah I see! Welcome to the ace community nonetheless!

I imagine understanding those who a lack of a feeling that something many people idolize can be pretty hard. I've noticed a lot of aro-spectrum people, regardless of gender, tend to feel a lot stronger platonic attraction than people who don't fall on the aro-spectrum so I wonder if instead of feeling romantic attraction we sorta "make up for it" emotionally by just having stronger platonic bonds. I'm not an expert on guy/guy friendships but in comparison to girl/girl friendships they do seem to be not as verbal in terms of appreciation. Like there seems to be an understood sense of "hey this guy's my good friend and we're there for each other" in comparison to girl/girl friendships where there's a lot of hugs, being more emotionally open, and occasionally "'love you!"'s. Going deeper into why that is intersects with feminism and how sexism can affect men and that's a whole 'nother topic.

True, just dating someone or having a QP partner to not appear different is pretty sad since you're not doing it for yourself. Considering how some people's families put so much pressure on dating and later getting married, you can see why some would do that though. I get what you mean by not personally being able to have such a close relationship with someone you ultimately only view as a friend. To people in QP relationships/want a QP relationship, the idea of having someone you're close to with no romantic//sexual strings attached is really appealing though. Not all kinds of relationships are a good fit for everyone, hence why some people have monogamous relationships and others have polyamorous ones or open relationships. (and in case anyone doesn't know; polyamory and polygamy aren't the same!)

Alloromantics (if I haven't previously explained, alloromantics/allosexuals are the opposite of aromantics/asexuals. It sounds better, and lessing confusing, than referring to those who experience romantic/sexual attraction simply as "romantics"/"sexuals") who aren't super caught up in dating are really in the minority. ~~It's really nice to run into alloromantics that aren't hellbent on getting into a relationship though because as you said, some people then sorta ignore their friends once they're in relationships.~~ Having high standards isn't necessarily a bad thing! It can mean you have some respect for yourself by not taking anyone who throws themself at you and/or not getting involved with someone who's potentially abusive. It can make things very tricky though as all the good ones seem to be taken or not interested but the long wait can making finding someone who's good for you feel 10x better!

Yeah sexuality and gender can both be very fluid and are especially volatile when you're younger. That's why, in the US at least, transgender children usually opt for puberty blockers when they get around that age and then take time to decide with their family if they're going to transition or not. If I'm not mistaken you have to be a certain age to legally transition in the US too so even if a child decides at 12 or 13 they are going to transition they might have to wait a year or two to start transitioning.

I'd also like to add that some kids just assume they're straight when they're younger. Like with a lot of asexuals, if they never heard the term and didn't have any particular reason to doubt their assumed heteorosexuality, why would they question it? It is true that some people's sexuality/sexual preference can change at the drop of a hat though.

I can't quote your most recent post because I've been working on this for the past couple ~~weeks~~ days but; I'm pretty sure my family thinks I'm gay too but just doesn't want to confront me about it haha. Asexuality is a newer term, it's gaining popularity though! AVEN's only been around since 2001 and considering how long LGBT awareness has been around I think for its 14 years it's doing fairly well! Hopefully in a few years time it and some of the other lesser known queer labels (nonbinary, demisexuality, pansexuality etc) be as well know as bisexuality c:

People do have different tastes, but then again it seems the whole world is now only concerned about healthy sex life in articles, or films showing different levels of it, and revolutions or debates.

And that's why I'm here. I checked that site, it seems nice and interesting..thank you!

Yeah, Parents definetely should give children the right to choose whatever they want. I don't get it why still some parents are so stereotypical, like as if their children are abnormal when deciding their own gender. It frightens me when I hear those deppressed and oppressed people ultimately commit suicide just to avoid the increasing anger of the society

Yeah, the amount of sex thrown at us in movies, advertisements, and songs can feel a little suffocating. It's one of those things that once you're aware of it, you continue to stay hyper aware of it. It's arguably better than sex being so taboo it's not talked about at all but it's a little much y'know?

No problem! I'm glad you found found AVEN helpful!

It really is a big problem that some parents can't even fathom their children being transgender. (a parent's transphobic views will likely be passed down to their children too and if that child's very vocal about their hateful views it could ultimately hurt others) Love for one's children shouldn't be conditional. And seeing your child happy should make you happy right? Even if your child isn't transgender, shaming girls who are tomboys and play out in the dirt or are rougher or shaming boys who might like dress up and dolls is harmful too. When that kid's older they'll much rather remember being allowed to play with whatever toys they want instead of being told playing with certain toys is wrong. These are some reasons why trans visibility and acceptance is important because it can literally save lives. Or on a lesser but still important scale, it can save a lot of kids from being unhappy and have a negative self image from an early age.

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