Valkyrie

Hey Annie-chan! I just read he story and I think it's good but I think you still haven't got a hang of the paraghraphing yet. This is how you do it: The underlined words are the tenses mistakes. In a narrative, all the tenses are to be in past tense. The senteces in italics are the ones you need to make a new paragraph. Whenever there is a diologue, you have to write the dialogue in a new paragraph. It is not a absolute rule but it's better. So this is how it's supposed to be: As you can see, everytime there's a new dialougue, there's a new paragraph. For the next part: For this part, the underlined are again the tenses mistakes and the italics are the ones you need to make into a new paragraph. The bold brackets are the few other mistakes that I picked out. For this part, it should be something like this: It should be something like this. And as an extra comment- you should be more elaborative. Describe more. You need to explain more so the story makes more sense. Explain about Kloak's clothing in the beginning of the story so the scarves at the later part of the story won't seem so surprising. Hope this helps! The story can really become a good one! Just work on the details and the paragraphing and the tenses and it should be fine.

Really nice story! Descriptive! Good job!

No DC episodes are posted here. You can't watch it here due to some copyright infringement or something. On another note, welcome to DCW! Do have fun here!

AWESOME! +1

....ASD.....

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I have a perfect recall.

My friends and I somehow created a new medical issue with laughing. Laughing too much= Stomach cancer. But that didn't stop me from laughing harder.

This. ^^

I like them too!! Same here! I usually bring them home but my parents don't really want them so I just feed them only. So whenever I go for a run, I always bring some packets of cat food to feed them.

hugs!

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