machine

I'm currently fixing my sleep schedule, my parents and I went out to dinner, then to the store to get some food and stuff, and now I'm just preparing myself to go back to school tomorrow after a 4 day weekend

Whatever kind of bread's served at Outback throughout the meal

(thanks for the clarifying on the last bit btw) ...I don't even know if trans people were like a thing hundreds of years ago. I don't mean that it's a recent thing but humanity's understanding of psychology wasn't good back then and from what I understand, gender wasn't as much of a thing back then. Like you had a biological sex and that was it. It determined if you were the one to give birth to the children or if you were the head of the household. It didn't matter if you didn't exactly feel that role fit you, that's the way things were, no exceptions. I mean I'm sure gender was a thing then but it was probably directly tied to what you physically were and now it's known to be something separate and... it's not a state of mind but it's how you view yourself. I just don't know if that's something that was like thought about back when electricity and plumbing weren't everyday things haha. I'm completely spit balling on this so I have no idea if that holds any truth at all so take that with a grain of salt. I found this wiki page but it's solely focused on the US and the latest it goes back is only "prior to 1800" so I have no idea if that adds any weight to what I said or not It's nice whichever country you live in isn't homophobic for the most part though despite it probably having a heavy Catholic influence in some--or maybe even most parts. I can't speak for the entire US as I've only lived in two states, both of which are in the midwest. It seems like were I live though, two people of the same gender showing signs of affection in public isn't a negative thing but would probably get a couple weird looks or snide comments. Fortunately the majority of the US isn't as... unaccepting as the southern portion. (though with Alabama recently legalizing same sex marriage, maybe things are changing down there, even if just slightly) Kinda sucks when stereotypes have some truth to 'em huh? :/ Hopefully you'll run into less... loud LGBT people as time goes on. Unfortunately most LGBT+ people tend to be either extremely vocal about it or the exact opposite and really nonchalant about it. I can't really add to the guys being touchy with other guys thing as I don't like much physical contact in general (if I could make handshakes and hugs not be common courtesies I would haha) and that's something that varies from friendship to friendship. However, I don't like that it's at the point that when some guys brush hands one has to go "nO homo br o . . .. " plz calm down no passersby in that 2.5 second period questioned masculinity nor orientation (granted that is an extreme example but it gets the gist across) As for the pride parade things, they sound nice. I don't particularly have a problem with them and they're a safe, accepting place for LGBT people usually (not always as I know there's at least some biphobia and probably transphobia too in the LGBT community) I kinda wish they weren't as in public, I get their main point is to be in public and raise awareness but that's why I'd avoid them tbh. if I'm gonna be noticeably not straight/cis around a bunch of other people I'd rather not do it outside though that's just my personal view on it And yeah a lot of trans people do sorta seem to live their lives centered around that. That's a big part of their identity so it makes sense and I find it respectable that they devote so much of their time towards fighting for trans rights and protection. It is a little much at times though, like... they aren't just one dimensional right? There has to be more to them right?

APink - LUV

OMM 1: I found a garfield x mass effect fanfic by mistake and.. the lack of formatting makes it 10x better OMM 2: suddenly very sleepy... this isn't good, I need to stay up at least like 5 more hours OMM 3: the haikyuu manga updated... still no end to the current match. why We've all been there u_u just last week I found myself not once, but twice awake at 5am when I needed to be up by 8am and out the door 30 minutes later,,, whoops, , ,, And yeah, finding exercise enjoyable is the hardest part for me as well. Especially if you're exercising alone, having someone to do the activities with makes it more tolerable though finding a "fitness buddy" is probably somewhat difficult haha

aKu - The Final Blow

Archer, I'm still in the second season but it's my go to show for whenever I don't wanna watch anime

this took way too long to type ohmgody I'd also like to add in case I piqued anyone's curiosity or if anyone would just like more information on trans stuff: this blog, has a ton of information on it and unlike some LGBT blogs on tumblr, it doesn't shame cis and straight people (yes those blogs do exist) nor put down people who are questioning. I personally don't agree with some of the stuff they advocate (I guess I can elaborate if asked????) but majority of the content's pretty good so uh... there ya go, , , , (under spoiler in attempt to make post less long) okey dokey i'm done now I couldn't find what they do in trans conversion therapy (in Leelah's suicide note though she said she was repeatedly told she was selfish, wrong, and going to hell though) I did however find a video on what one guy went through in gay conversion therapy. I'm guessing most people who put their children in conversion therapy just don't know what they're getting into. It sounds like they're put into the "therapy" as they don't want their children to be... I know there's a more fitting word for it I just can't think of it but they don't want their kid to be gay/trans because they view it as wrong. They might view it as a phase or a choice and like a rebellious thing and think maybe if we just harm them they'll snap out of it and go back to "normal"/being het. They sound like they want the best for their children and that's why they do it instead of realizing (and later accepting) that having a gay/trans child isn't a bad thing--and it most certainly wasn't an effect of their faulty parenting (hitting your kid because they are gay is, without needing to be said, abusive parenting, but giving your son "too many hugs" or allowing your daughter to be closer to her dad than her mom was/is not) And as much as I loathe buzzfeed, it's the only short video I could find about the trans bathroom thing The telling people to use whichever bathroom they biologically are makes it complicated for pre-t trans folk who might still have prominent secondary sex characteristics but are presenting as their actual/true gender (either bathroom they choose might have negative repercussions) and intersex people. As for the more fitting part both have stalls so that doesn't really apply (and to get more technical, AFAB's can even buy... devices(? I don't know what to call them tbh...) so they can pee standing up. I don't quite know how many people do that regularly/would be interested in doing that regularly and risk getting UTI's enough to buy those though) If by better suited you mean like periods though (tmi warning????? maybe????? I figure anyone who's keeping up with this topic probably knows what they're getting into but in case you're uncomfortable with that stuff just skip to the next paragraph) but as that week seems to up gender dysphoria for AFAB trans people in general (it's basically just a slap in the face for a couple days), they might avoid going out in public that's more than necessary (especially if using public restrooms is already a little stressful). There's also like birth control and stuff which can make those less frequent. And I heard that when transboys/transmen/FTM's start hormones, periods stopping is one of the first things that happens. Yeah I talked about SPG a little bit about a month ago I know, it's amazing just how bubbly she got over the course of starting hormones to where she is now! I think it's really brave of her to share her whole experience with hormones and living as a transgender person in general as that's a very personal thing y'know? And the fact that she changed her SPG persona to also being female is cool too (Her persona in SPG was originally a guy robot who went by Rabbit. Now she plays the robot as a girl named Bunny) especially since her singing voice will still be quite deep. Since SPG's said they want to stay family friendly considering that there might be unknowing and potentially judgemental kids watching their shows that's really respectable imo. As for the religion/belief part you touched on, I'm also an atheist so I hope I don't word this poorly either. (MK went into this a little as well) I think maybe religion is viewed as the main source of homophobia because of stuff like conversion therapy and the whole "buT THE BIBLE SAYS---" spiel. I'm guessing a lot of homophobia is just how LGBT stuff wasn't really talked about--gay couples showing affection in public wasn't a thing either, and now that it's prevalent it might be hard for some to swallow and uncomfortable to see. It certainly can be a lot to take in at once especially if you were sheltered and then suddenly "wHOA there's more than two genders?!? people can love people of the same gender?!?!? you can be something other than gay or straight--or even not feel attraction all together? no, , ,that's not a thing. Everyone wants to be in a relationship. Trust me on this I watched an episode of Glee once at my cousin's house. What do you mean you're pansexual? You're attracted to kitchen equipment?? Bisexuals are so greedy, and whichever significant other they choose proves their real orientation. What do you mean romantic and sexual attraction are different?" There's also the whole "what if the gay kid in my class has a crush on me and watches me when we change before and after P.E." thing. It really is just a ton of information, and if you have no interest in learning about--or didn't even know it was a thing, having it all thrust upon you and being expected to be familiar with it is incredibly overwhelming. Awareness about LGBT issues helps a ton but for the more ingrained things, only time will help those. I think there will always be a slight stigma just because people are generally uneasy about things that are different (and there will undoubtedly always be that person using their religious beliefs to be an a--hole) And if I can go back to Zander and Leelah for a second, I think it shows progress that society as a whole is making because Zander and Leelah weren't bullied by their peers for being trans. (if they were bullied it wasn't mentioned in their suicide notes at least, I don't see why they wouldn't have mentioned it if it had been something they experienced.) Majority of what I wanted to respond to this with I put in the last paragraph and a half of my response to Kirsch. (I also agree with a good part of the stuff you said so I don't have much to add) Is the part about guys feeling slightly homophobic thing in reference to how like guy friends aren't as physically affectionate with each other whereas girls that are friends with other girls don't have as much of a problem with that? (ex: hugging when they see each other, girls holding hands with each other without hesitance in public when ice skating or something) Don't think I'm trying to use this to later respond rudely, I'm just genuinely curious as like subtle homophobia isn't discussed as often and I'm not as aware of it. And is the irritating part due to the like flamboyant stereotype and maybe some of the like... just how loud some people are about LGBT pride and stuff? I also don't blame with the worrying about LGBT people going for more than equal rights. Considering how some parts of tumblr were acting a couple months ago... As said previously though, I think there'll always be a slight stigma but I'm sure some will aim for more rights than needed (for lack of a better word) THIS WAS MUCH LONGER THAN I INTENDED IT TO BE I AM SORRY AND I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY GRAMMATICAL/SPELLING ERRORS I TOOK MANY BREAKS IN BETWEEN WRITING THIS ALONG WITH GOING BACK AND REVISING THIS NUMEROUS TIMES SO IM SURE I ACCIDENTALLY MISSED SOME MISTAKES

salad

OMM: squinting ....it's already 12:30am orz True! That's the key to doing things you don't particularly like in general, try to make them at least slightly enjoyable and then they're less of a chore. I guess staying fit for the purpose of staying fit doesn't sound too bad, I just have no idea how they get and maintain the motivation to do that though.

(((I'm being talked about, , , , hello there,,,, ))) Yeah 9th grade wasn't fun in the slightest I've only moved once actually, I just go between my two houses a lot. My dad got a job out of state in fall 2012 so ever since then my family and I have been going between the two. On the bright side I've gotten very good at long car rides over the years Though it still kinda sucks having like no home home though since my childhood home's going to be going up on the market and I just don't like Indiana. . . . . . . And thank you! I've fortunately been a lot better off this past year compared to where I was this time two years ago ;w; Yeah I think all the children of the people of the school employs get tuition discounts if they decide to go there and I can't even put into words how... it's such a huge weight off your shoulders ;;;;; Oh wow the oldest clothes I have are from late middle school. Reusing them like that does save money though and since they're bigger than just regular washrags and can be used longer. And I feel you on the opinion part u_u All my opinions are immediately discarded for one not really valid reason or another.

Yeah dieting sounds terrible. There's so many foods out there, why limit yourself? Just staying in shape by exercising sounds so much... not easier but more enjoyable.

Nope I'm not a senior (as much as I wish I was sighs) My school situation's really complicated and confusing actually (long story short, depression induced truancy). I'm technically a junior but I mainly have sophomore classes. I have no idea when I'm graduating to be honest, ,, , , My dad got a job at a college though so I get some crazy discount on tuition at a school that's actually pretty good. I'm pretty stupid but not stupid enough to pass that up. I have a feeling I'll end up going to grad school so I plan on doing that out of state at least. Yeah I imagine seeing some of your favorite clothes from your childhood all dust covered isn't the greatest feeling. And really? My sister's donated blood a couple times but donating clothes is like a yearly thing for us.

I'll never understand those super health conscious people. I get that it's like a lifestyle but... how? --why?

...is it healthier? How much (almond) milk do those people consume that they actually care how healthy it is? haha And I'll take your word for it haha u_u

I'm really excited for college too actually! The whole being on your own and being independent sounds really exciting. People are usually more mature by the time they get to college too \o/ I feel like I'm overhyping this and after my first week of college I'm going to be sorely disappointed I more or less unfortunately though will be going to college not too far from where I live so I won't have too much freedom orz doing laundry at home is a plus though And ah I see. My parents always gave my old clothes to my little cousins or donated them for the tax deductions haha

Almond milk is pretty good though it does pale in comparison to the real thing. It's not a bad alternative though. It's alright with cereal though I generally don't like putting milk in my cereal so I wouldn't be able to tell if there was a difference between reg. milk and almond milk with cereal. (And the type of cereal you have probably plays a factor)

I doubt college will be much different to be honest, , , The fact that they use it as a dust rag now probably says something though haha

I haven't had 2% actually (my house only ever has 1% and occasionally almond milk) but I imagine it'd be thicker than skim milk but not as thick as 2% ....???

Yeah.. city snow plowing kinda sucks most of the time sometimes. My new town doesn't slow residential areas--they don't even salt the roads OTL it's terrible Playing the snow was really fun though! Snowball fights and making snow forts out of the big piles the snow plows would leave... Kinda wish my old snow clothes still fit haha.

1%'s where it's at tbh Skim's not bad. You get used to it after a while. I'm not a fan of whole or 2% though OMM: "dentist charged in death of patient who died while having 20 teeth pulled" ...please tell me what I can do to never have to have 20 teeth pulled

I can't remember what I ate yesterday either haha I don't remember if I even ate like an actual dinner ...shrugs I can however remember in 4th grade the kid next to me and I were complaining about the woes of having long last names that are often mispronounced

Ouch, that sounds terrible to be honest haha. Are the roads being maintained somewhat well at least? It's fortunately not supposed to snow where I live this coming week at all \o/

really? I don't think I know anyone who prefers speakers to headphones That does sound nice to get like a whole new experience with a song just by wearing a headphones though. The only time I get to experience something similar is when I buy more expensive headphones which isn't often since I break mine a lot haha