Forever Lost

Arigatou, futari tomo.. Sorry for bothering you all with this

:3 All of ya'll who think you'd sound good as a certain character for voice acting should audition for the episode I'm doing... XPP *you know I couldn't help it XD* I do a pretty darn good Sonoko in my selfish opinion XDDD but hey other people agree >3>

Trying isn't good enough.. Ever since Scary-san ahaha.. I've been like this - in variations. But I'd never felt a true deep death-like depression before that.. and I don't think I ever fully climbed out of it.. so....... WHO CARES. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Moving on with life - flies are evil.

There apparently are good things about being the person who doesn't exist... no one notices you enough to stalk you..

It's easy to say that. So easy to say. Why can't I go back to being horrified at the thought that people for even one second would think about killing themselves? Why can't I go back to helping everyone with their problems and not worrying about my own? Why can't I encourage people anymore? Why can't I hold them up? Why am I like this? I trusted and was betrayed. I hoped and was disappointed. I wished and it was not granted. I loved and was hated. Perhaps it's my selfishness. That could be it.

Nana-chan.. that.. really... really.. sucks o.o positive... seems..... difficult... I wonder if a certain person is proud of themselves. They taught me a few things they've been desperate to get through my head: -Trust no one. -Expect nothing from anyone. -Positive thinking is illogical. I don't know what to do anymore. Fight. Or give up. I don't understand anymore.

^^ "Don't let go, never give up, it's such a wonderful life." says this song. To give hope to others when you don't have it for yourself... @Cure-kun: Haha indeed. It does. Random fact: I'm one of the world's worst 'worriers'

O.o scary..

Arigatou Misaki-chan, but there's no need to be worried

@Misaki-chan: Don't mind me XD It be nothin~ @Cure-kun: Sou desu ne.... But there are tragic consequences for thinking positively.. 'cause there's such a disappointment :3

^-^ Don't be concerned Misaki-chan There's no need for you to be XD I'm pretty pathetic on a regular basis so it's no big deal, in fact it's not even a small deal, nothing at all ~

Hahaha.. I was just thinking "Oh look, Victorique shot me already.." *sigh* Life is kind of cruel. Cruel, I say XP *says the person who has had good things happen to her* stupid me XD

Already poured out just about EVERYTHING on my mind to my mother... who just says that I'm just worrying on too many things..... Just shoot me.

@Moonlight Magician: Yes. My heart is made of cold steel. Nothing you can do to change that o.o @Nana-chan: I can describe you like that simply because I can :3

@Misaki-chan: The charger was in the other room and I wasn't supposed to be awake.. so I couldn't exactly go out there... His eyes are most likely hazel. That's the best conclusion I can reach. Mine are starting to do the same.. I used to have chocolate brown eyes but now I have green in them and the brown has lightened up :/ Oh wellll Can't wait for kaichou to get back :3

Well I'm not the bravest to say "I like you" jokingly or seriously.. and I don't think that'd blow over well >.>''''' We're not really close la.. and I suck at noticing things. I will once again attempt to be more observant! Also.. I think. Think. His eyes are brown-green. I keep trying to figure it out, but I can't exactly stare at his eyes without being suspicious..

@Misaki-chan: *facepalm* Not someone like me. He'll get the perfect girl for him, and someone as freaking selfish and dorky as me couldn't match that at all. P.S. My laptop is just about to die so..

Eveeeeeeeentually.

My nee-chan and her new fiancé were like that.. *not my actual sister but someone who's like one..* Sadly.. to add to the he can't like me thing... he really really really liked her... and then his best friend betrayed him and asked her out. Now they're engaged. People don't get over stuff like that fast, right? It was toward the end of last year..... So yeah. And she's 200x better than me in every way so XD