Forever Lost

Cammy, you might want to see if there's any free/volunteer counselors nearby. I used to go to one until they left to go to another place. They're professionals but they're volunteering and they don't charge. I was able to go to them for awhile. I would suggest the school counselor, but I never went to my middle school and up counselors because they seemed too busy with everything to just sit and listen. My elementary counselor let me sit in her office all day one time and just cry and talk and do work.. but I doubt they do that in middle school and high school >.>;

I'm really glad you found your way here, too. Thank you *hugs* And what Mohorovicic said is also something you need to think about. (Although personally I think it's fine to talk about it to other people, emotional support is important..) If you can find some way of getting help, some way of getting free from abuse... it'd be your best choice. His words are better than mine though, since he knows what he's talking about. My mom lived in a really abusive household when she was younger... she survived through it until she was old enough and had a job and a safe place to go. I can't counsel you on what to do on that very well >.< Obviously everyone else here is willing to support you too, dear. I'm glad it meant something to you, really. Gambatte.

........................ *hugs you super tight* I honestly have no words that can be of any true help. The most I could offer is the fact that I did read all of that. I'll listen/read anytime again if something happens again. If you need someone to scream at, I'm right here. If you need someone to rant at, I'm right here. If you need someone to hear your opinion, listen to your voice, whether or not it's in text form, I'm right here. I don't know what it is to be physically abused. I do know, however, what it is to be mentally abused - many people around me especially when I was younger would do it all the time, including my father. I can only say that I understand how you feel for only a small part of it. Prove your freaking sister wrong. Go to that school you wanted to go to, enjoy it. Shove it in her face if you want to just by going there, just by being happy, just by making real friends there. Prove her lies wrong if only to yourself. I can see that it's intensely difficult, but if you can make those friends at the school you chose to go to a piece of the world where you can be away from people who are trying to hurt you, then it'd be for the best. I can only say that I wish to give you hope. The only honest and true hope that I can back up to give you is that I'll be here, and I won't turn on you. I won't let you go, and if you need someone to go to, I'll be here. I'm sure everyone else here will be too, but I'll speak for myself in all confidence. Never forget that your voice and your opinion, your thoughts, your existence, is still intact, is still important. Don't let go of it. Don't silence yourself, don't let go. Whatever you do, just don't let go. I don't advise yelling back (although I'm sure it'd be nice) simply because I don't want to advise something that would get you hurt. If no one else will listen to your opinion, your thoughts, recognize your existence, then I will, we will, here. I know it's not much, but until something works, something turns, something changes, I hope that it will be of some comfort. I've had many friends try to kill themselves. They came with scars on their necks and wrists. I'm telling you, you don't want to keep that up. You don't want to do it. I watched them, their hearts were scarred. It still kills me inside today. They fought hard against their very selves to stop. Don't inflict hurt onto yourself - you don't deserve any more abuse. Death is not the end. Nor is it the answer. It's okay, it's completely okay, to not to be able to end your life. If you ever feel that way, come talk to me. Send me a message if I'm offline. I don't want to leave you out there hurting and unheard, alright? You need anything, come tell me. Love ya, Cammy-chan. I really hope things start to turn out and get better.

DO IT I do it all the time. It's about time someone else does

If I started the same thing, there'd be like.. one or two creepers. And that's it. DON'T EVEN GIVE ME THAT CRAP *throws chex mix at kaichou* ... *eats another handful* :3 Me likes parties.

*joins the party* GOSH everyone is posting on this thing. Dude, kaichou, prime example of how popular you are :3 *eats chex mix and drinks soda* So, what's up peoples?

I was desperately attempting to try to explain what I mean. It's hard. I don't believe you look for too much attention, if I did, I wouldn't have mentioned that. (I feel like a spoiled brat all the time... and I'm older than you >.> EVERYONE IN THE UNITED STATES WHO WATCHES DC SOMEHOW IS IN SOME FREAKING FAMOUS STATE LIKE CALIFORNIA OR FLORIDA OR NEW YORK. It's just wrong. I know you said you're not in Cali. For that, I am happy.

It was a unique idea! I knew chances were unlikely BUT HEY why can't someone live somewhere in America and not live in freaking Cali for once?! Or in Florida. Or in some freaking popular state. *grouchy* I'm not sure how to explain that. But a ton of 11-14 year olds have this habit of acting out online. It's rather impulsive.. When you do things like leaving, I don't get the feeling "acting out" like.. you have a proper basis, and it's not whiny pity party or attention show. You don't cuss unnecessarily or insult people for no good reason or act brashly. That combined with your vocabulary and 'maturity' really really leaves the impression of being 15 or 16. (But then again, 18 year olds can act out like the 11-13 age group >.> soooooo *has witnessed this many many times*)

Pshhhh so I can't make awesome mindless guesses?! It's no fair >3> Actually I have basis. But. It's basis only enough to pull a random guess from. 16ish = 'cause you have a proper vocabulary and understand a few things that someone younger normally would otherwise not. I have a friend who's 13 and rather mature, but she is incapable of properly using many words and is clueless on some things we talk about around her. So not entirely as a matter of maturity. However... that could also mean you're more like me, especially because of your brilliance, but you don't act out like many younger people do online. Fusae Ui as a codename = Psh. I gave it to you :3 Living in Illinois = Simply because I looked up something you said and it was based in Illinois. Plus it'd make sense with some of the things you've said regarding timezones. THERE. Gosh. Why can't I have no basis?!

*whines* No one pays attention to my mindless guesses!!!!! It's not fair >3>