Dear anonymous,
I knew you were different. I talked to you, you levelled with me, while I continued to play the ignorant boy. I liked it when you talk to me, when you hummed randomly in that sweet voice of yours. The way you treat your siblings (Tch, wish you were my older sibling) even though they're brats, and your courage.
I wanted to say I thought you were very brave, but the words got stuck in my throat. I had been to that point before countless times, each and every day and night for months, every second I lingered on the edge of breaking down with myself as the enemy who I still can't defeat.
You're pretence which I see through, yourself and what you've been through, I want to know. I want to hold your hand in mine and feel its lingering warmth when you let go. I want to go and make your day when you're walking by yourself, bored. I want to pull you closer when you're near me but I can't.
I can't.
Not without repercussions. Not without you staking your future.
Am I a fool? We will pass each other by, will you turn and look back at me through your memories? I think I will. Each friend, each favour, I remember for some reason I know not. But...aren't you a bit special to me?
You asked me for a reason for you to trust me. I wonder what should I do.
~Your admirer.