Well.. it's a tough thing to go through. Have you tried talking about it with anyone yet? Especially with someone close to you who knows about it. It's a good thing to talk about these things for a bit, it's more fullfilling than trying to relieve yourself temporary. Needless to say, I'm all ears, but I know there might not be that confidence you might have with a friend of yours or somebody who you're familiar with.
To find something, that something must have been created in the first place.. That's why, I'd say finding and creating yourself go hand in hand. There's a point in our lives when we "awake". When we are children we aren't really aware of who we're becoming. We just learn and keep on living until one day, sooner or later, we realize that who we are and who we want to be is in our very own hands, that our own lives are just ours.
Then, if you've gotten into a point where you don't know who you're or were, recreate and find yourself once again. Restart. Become... who you want to be.
Once you feel comfortable with yourself.. you'll be able to find happiness in being with others once again.