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Officer Kaoko

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You might want to change the 'a man' to two. Lazarus and JESUS were both resurrected from the dead.... That, if you don't count the old Testament ...

Right. I just said "a man" because most people only think of Jesus. Besides. I didn't remember it right. I heard it twelve years ago.

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Right. I just said "a man" because most people only think of Jesus. Besides. I didn't remember it right. I heard it twelve years ago.

thats because it was an Anti-girls joke so I had to remove it using my special ability

here is some things I got from Cheezburger

82ae45c7-441f-447c-8ddd-b680ec097669.jpg

engrish-funny-dont-worry-about-writing-it.jpg

engrish-funny-catnip-is-just-a-gateway-drug.jpg

chatroulette-trolling-copycat.jpg

8e6dc4e4-cbe0-4d6e-8556-0861244e9efb.jpg<--- she misspelled swear haha

hope you liked them

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For those who understand bahasa Indonesia:

Pada suatu kunjungan di sebuah peternakan yang dilakukan oleh peserta seminar untuk keluarga harmonis, seorang Pemandu acara menceritakan bahwa sapi di tempat tersebut sangat sehat dan kuat-kuat.

Pemandu :"... Bapak dan Ibu, ini sapi dari New Zealand sangat kuat, sehari bisa 5 kali berhubungan dengan sapi betina"

Ibu-ibu sambil nyenggol suaminya :".. Tuh.. Pak 5 kali sehari, bisa nggak...?"

*Trus lanjut pemandu,

Pemandu :"... Bapak dan Ibu, ini sapi Australia lebih kuat lagi, sehari bisa 10 Kali"

Ibu-ibu nyenggol lagi suaminya :"Tuh..pak 10 x bayangin.....!!!"

Bapak-bapak semakin panas dan tanya kepada pemandu,"Pak... itu 10 kali dengan betina yang sama apa enggak...?"

Pemandu :"Ya... beda-beda dong Pak"

Bapak-bapak :"Tuh...... Bu, betinanya beda-beda, boleh nggak...??"

Are you going to translate it or not? we are waiting....

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thats because it was an Anti-girls joke so I had to remove it using my special ability

here is some things I got from Cheezburger

82ae45c7-441f-447c-8ddd-b680ec097669.jpg

engrish-funny-dont-worry-about-writing-it.jpg

engrish-funny-catnip-is-just-a-gateway-drug.jpg

chatroulette-trolling-copycat.jpg

8e6dc4e4-cbe0-4d6e-8556-0861244e9efb.jpg<--- she misspelled swear haha

hope you liked them

So, YOU defied me.

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Let me try:

A man was driving on a road when his car broke down. He took the car to the nearest car repair shop. The technicians there said, "Come back tomorrow". The man then went to a nearby motel and stayed there for the night.

The next day, the man came back to the repair shop, only to find out his car had been towed. He asked the manager, "Why was my car towed?!". The manager replied in a calm manner, "Well, sir, I think we found the problem with your car. You see, we found the gas tank was empty and we're taking it to the nearby gas station to get the car filled up."

Don't you just hate those moments?

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Haha, that's a good one014.gif, J.Conan.K-chan~ *adding a pointcd08785a.gif*

Teacher: How do you spell 'wrong'?

Student: R?o?n?g?

Teacher: That’s wrongdf13952b.gif! ...You pinhead4d6161fd.gif!

Student: That’s what you asked for, isn’t it3eb4e7b3.gif?

Nice one! A little bit funny but good!

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Person 1: Can you tell me how to spell 'funny' 3eb4e7b3.gif?

Person 2: **--

Person 1: What-- d582d79f.gif!!?

Person 2: **-

Person 1: OMG 8c460310.gif!!

Person 2: Wha- what's wrong? Didn't you ask me how to spell 'Funny'?

Person 1: I did but...

Person 2: Then it's F U N N Y.

Person 1: Oh 5c745924.gif.

  • Upvote 1

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Person 1: Can you tell me how to spell 'funny' 3eb4e7b3.gif?

Person 2: **--

Person 1: What-- d582d79f.gif!!?

Person 2: **-

Person 1: OMG 8c460310.gif!!

Person 2: Wha- what's wrong? Didn't you ask me how to spell 'Funny'?

Person 1: I did but...

Person 2: Then it's F U N N Y.

Person 1: Oh 5c745924.gif.

I'm sorry, but I don't get this.

Just kidding. tongue.gif

It isn't too bad.

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It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."

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Three Brothers

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?"

The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."

So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.

The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.

The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition.

Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.

The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."

The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking."

  • Upvote 2

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Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"

Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"

The Doctor nods, "Hmm."

Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"

"Hmm," says the Doctor,

He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.

The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"

"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."

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