it's the wordings... and I have those feelings as well.(I guess people who experienced depression would also...)
I mean when I read:
I think.. if I stay completely silent.. it'll be better. If I turn cold, or into stone, it'd be fine.
Tells me that you are very lonely, but it is some how comfortable that way.
To be acceptable to anyone, maybe that's what I have to do. Because opening my mouth causes trouble.
Again it shows loneliness. You are sad that you cannot express your self freely.
No one gets annoyed, tired, angry, anything at me when I am silent. To shut myself off to the world completely.. it might not be that bad of an idea.
You want peace and comfort. You want to give something to others, but all you can do is to be silent and calm...
I think I've screamed out my last protests to this... as much as I cry out to defy it, it should win now.
You are afraid that you will make the same mistake, or you are afraid of losing. You want to get rid of this feeling of sadness and loneliness.
It's been about a year.. maybe two.. that I've resisted. My selfish resistance, my pain-filled cries. They really should end now.
You are sad that there isn't much you can do to solve the problem.
Forgive me for all the annoyance I've brought. Forgive me for my selfish words. Forgive me for being a burden. Forgive me for assuming silly things.
That is what is on my mind.
Somehow this shows comfort and peace, yet sad... and sorrow... a very deep sorrow that is unspeakable... I'm guessing that these words are the actual words that you want to say out loud to everyone, but something is preventing you from doing so.