Aeyra

Sometimes I wonder if that rule was put in just because of you. LOL

Oh we all know how you abused that. *rolls eyes* How many different usernames did you end up with, Moho-kun?

That wasn't my case, I just put my username as my screenname before realizing I preferred Aeyra to iluvshadowclaw. It's easier to type, and prettier to say! XD But I am glad the name rule wasn't there.. I changed my username once I got active. (0 posts before changing)

That's an adorable monkey. I can't believe it's one o'clock in the morning and I'm posting. Something's severely wrong with me.

Im not paired either, DCW or IRL, but I don't care. More time to enjoy innocence and youth. However, I'm curious to see what people might come up for me... XD

Agreed. LOL @MM- Pyre just needs some time to get to know you. ;D She's fun to talk to once you know her! (but Pyre, I still haven't gotten that beta-read chapter back yet... I've decided to beta it myself...) I wanna meet everyone who wants to meet me! (because I presume those who do not want to meet me would be better off not meeting the hyper, ranting, crazy teenage girl I am.)

Yeah, but I just wanted to clear up misunderstandings because Miwako didn't give me reasons in her PM. I won't give another rant today because honestly I think three is enough (or was it four? Who knows? I'm too lazy to count after midnight.) But just remember my point. What's the point of not counting game posts if in the light of this new declaration apparently nobody cares about post count anymore (at least a few people have too- we can't all be DCW saints of I don't care if my post count is zero as long as I'm here kinds of people) and we don't stop counting in forums that almost never (if not ever) talk about DC? (misc. Music, misc. Anime/Manga, that kind of thing.) ... ... And before I know it I'm mini-ranting. Good night.

I used to use SAI to draw lineart, but then my trial expired... TT-TT But now I use photoshop cs5 to draw and color. ^^ What's Illust Studio?

Then why is Ryoma one of your avatars?

Did you even read Prince of Tennis?

With that I can't even tell if you're joking... You know, Eiji Kikumaru? This guy? :

Hmm.. I only know Ryoma and Heiji. XD Ryoma's really cool, but I prefer Eiji.

I've missed a lot, haven't I....?

I'm interested in what confused you as well... EDIT: Oh... I think I get it now... You thought I meant I was telling people to spam DCE... I think... If I even made anyone think about doing that, I would like to ask that person (or persons) to stop because I like spam as much as the next person. (= I hate spam, well, maybe the canned version tastes okay... )

Screw double posts, authors have that privilege on their own pages. XD Part 5's been a long time coming, but I never got it back from Pyre so I will post it here now. I think it was pretty good already, however I never posted after I didn't receive it. I guess I'll go back to my own pace for this story then. Now let me post part 5.... *Warning: Shinichi appears to like to curse. Can't blame him, he's been having a very hard time lately. *shrugs** Shinichi's POV "How the hell is Hattori not here yet?" I bitch under my breath, slightly irritated (okay, a lot irritated) after my hour-or-so-long nap. "I thought he got on the earliest plane." "It can't be helped, Kudo-kun," answers Haibara, who is sitting on the bed next to me, sighing. "He just got notified. Besides, it takes a while even by air. Airplanes aren't instant teleportation." "They should be..." I turn away from her childishly, but her small hand pulls me back, forcing me to face her. "How're you feeling, Kudo-kun?" she asks, keeping a firm grip on my shoulder. She lays her other hand on my forehead, and it feels a little cold. Not that it means anything- she's always felt a little cold to me. Even when I'm not in some sort of funky hangover and getting over a headache of pill overdose. "Wouldn't a thermometer work better?" I joke as she pulls away, a pondering expression on her face as if calculating some sort of scientific equation. "Even an expert chemist like you can't tell an exact temperature just from touch, right?" "38.94 degrees Celcius." She looks back at me, a smile on her face, eyes twinkling. "Don't underestimate me, Kudo-kun. That's a fever. I'll check it with a thermometer if you wish." "Come on!" I protest, an almost child-like whine in my voice. Five years of being Conan has left its mark on me. I must say it makes me sound quite pathetic. "You've got to be playing around!" Rolling her eyes, she leans back down over me. "Of course I can't get the right temperature, silly!" She flicks my nose playfully, looking older than usual. I mean, she's technically eleven now, and a hell lot taller than she used to be. But, she's still tiny compared to the grown-up me. Her tone grows more serious as she continues, "However, I can tell if it's a fever. You think being a scientist hasn't given me at least a slight knowledge of medical information?" "I don't feel like taking another nap," I groan, countering her before she lays out the 'ideal' ways of curing fevers, including staying asleep for seven-eighths of the day and having a hot towel over my forehead. "I'm not tired anymore, and Hattori's coming soon." "Sometimes I feel like I'm looking after an elementary student. You won't even take a small nap. I bet toddlers are more obedient than you!" she teases, lightening the somewhat dreary atmosphere. Her tea-colored hair reaches her shoulders, longer than before. It's a nice change. "If you wanted to take care of a toddler, then you should have played with the kids! I'm pretty sure Mitsuhiko and the others still act like toddlers. Don't you hang out with them?" I ask curiously, watching her expression slightly change. "I've been skipping school the past month to take care of you. I haven't seen them for a while. It's actually kind of lonely- didn't realize I'd miss them this much." She gives a little chuckle, but it's easy to tell she's dead serious. Those children have become her best friends over the past few years. "Do they still miss Conan?" I wonder out loud, thinking about whether or not they remembered me. Even though I only turned back into my true self one month ago, I'd spent the previous six helping the F.B.I. obliterate the Black Organization. "Ayumi will mention him sometimes, and so will the other two. They still believe you ran off to America, and I'm not going to change that. However, they're disappointed that you haven't sent them any postcards." "Hm... Probably should do that sometime..." I mumble before starting again. "It'll be fine if you leave for a little bit and play with them. I'll be okay." "No way, Kudo-kun. We didn't hide every poisonous chemical in the house or even weapons for that matter. I figure even if we did you would throw yourself off the second floor something. I'm not letting you stay alone after what happened this morning." Her tone is firm, so I know there is no point in arguing whatsoever. Even if I told her that I'm not going to off myself with Hattori coming, I doubt she'd believe me. "Fine. I guess nothing I can do will convince you I'm not feeling suicidal right now. I actually feel kind of better- I'm not thinking of her as much." The edge of Haibara's mouth twitches upwards as she tries to hold back a smile. Before, it would hurt to know that one of my closest friends was happy to know of my dying affections, but the pain isn't there anymore. There's no way in the world this is going to turn into love though. "Glad to be of service, Kudo-kun." I hear the vibration of a cell phone, and see it's my own on the stand. Haibara picks it up for me, reading the text message. "You have two messages; the first is from Hattori-kun." My heart performs a wild flutter at the name. "The other," she pauses, hesitant. "Is from Mouri-chan." "Well, what do they say?" I ask, acting apathetic to the news that Ran had texted me. Why would she text me? But for some reason, I want to read Hattori's more... "Hattori-kun says the plane just took off. He'll arrive in an hour or two. Mouri-chan sent a picture of her and Hondou-kun at the Empire State Building. She says she's really happy and doing well in America. She wants to know how you are." She scans my face, my eyes for any traces of 'harmful' emotions. I don't think there's anything. "Lemme see the picture," I whine; sitting up, feel the cool air in my loose white T-shirt. Probably is a fever. Haibara hands me the phone carefully, as if I am a wild animal locked in a cage. Quite an accurate description if you ask me. Ran is hugging Hondou, the former having grown taller and more masculine in the past few years. He's lost some of his innocent, helpless look to a strong, confident aura. Both smile for the camera, a night scene of New York City behind them, making it seem as if they are at the top of the world. Ran is dressed in a casual dress and sandals, her eyes shining with joy. Happier than she's ever looked these past five years. No matter how hard I had tried, I couldn't get her to smile that way. I'm jealous of Hondou. I know I have no chance with Ran anymore, but to know he beat me, won her over, makes me feel inferior. I lost to clumsy, girly, unlucky Hondou, who happened to be lucky enough to be boyfriend to the girl I loved. Great enough a guy to make her laugh and smile probably about every day. Can promise her a good future, won't leave her alone. I was the opposite. I was dexterous, strong, confident Kudo Shinichi, unlucky enough to be shrunk by a future ally and lose my childhood friend in terms of romance. I gave her empty promises and entertained her fantasies of my return. All I did was make her cry. I hid the truth in fear that she'd find it. I couldn't assure a good future- I didn't even know whether I'd be alive long enough to have one. It's no wonder she chose him. As a detective, it took me a while to figure that out. "Kudo-kun, are you okay?" inquires Ai, and I realize I've closed my eyes. A single, burning tear slides down my face, dropping onto the white bed sheets. "He deserves her more than I ever did. I can't believe I didn't see it till now. I was so stupid..." I let out a gentle sigh, try and wipe away sweat from my damp bangs, half-smiling. "He can give her whatever I can't." "Kudo-kun-" I hold two fingers to her lips to seal them. "It's just relieving to finally realize she's in good hands. My vision of Hondou was clouded. Now, in this reply, should I include the fact I tried to suicide?" I muse somewhat jokingly, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere. "Depends on what you want her to send back. If you want her to call you, putting it in is the better option. Though, knowing her, she'll take all the blame for it and everything even if her part was in the right. It's just so her." Her statement is true, and I know it. She may not think of me in the same way, but through it all, we're still friends. I think. I bet if we met up, and if I weren't so messed up, it'd be almost identical to high school, except without romance. Happy, laughing friends. I don't want to hurt her- the blame for my heartbreaking goes back to me. And then the tea-colored girl next to me. However, I'll shut up because I don't want to insult her. She's also a friend. I sound like an elementary school kid. I'm almost twenty-two for crying out loud! I should be in college, have a girlfriend, (or boyfriend as my *cough* 'hallucinations' hint.) and have more than just these few friends. I should have people other than just Haibara, someone who I'll never be able to fully forgive, and Hattori, who lives too far away to meet up often. Wish he lived in Tokyo. As a best friend of course. It's not like I want anything more. I don't need to feel his warm caramel skin against mine, the strength of his arms- don't need to feel his cool breath in my ear, like a whisper of the wind, strong and confident like a tiger, and most of all don't need to feel his perfect lips against mine, his body pressed to me, the static electricity that pulses through the air as the world bursts into flames of burning passion. And how the heck did I think of all of that effortlessly? It felt natural to list that out- it seems so wrong. I was thinking so strongly- I wonder where the power has dissipated to. I had felt wanted- why am I so alone? "I'll reply to her later. I'm going to rest for a little bit until Hattori comes." I pull the damp covers back over me, the sweat more than slightly uncomfortable. But Haibara leaves, leaving the door a crack open. That way, if I try to split my head open, she'll be able to hear it. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm crazy, or she's paranoid or both. I really do. Whatever, I can sense my exhaustion like a tired cloud, slowly resting its light, yet irrepressible, weight onto me. I let out a strained yawn, stick my legs off of the bed just because, and lay my head on Haibara's strawberry-shampoo-scented pillow. Softer than it was a minute ago. That's nice. I don't fight against the cloud- I allow it to settle on my body, relax my tensed muscles. It's been a long time since I've truly enjoyed this basic, basic sensation. I've been going to bed crying, sick, and plain old heartbroken. Staying up despite what Haibara says to do, plotting ways to die. Not just laying like this, limbs stretched out, splayed under the blanket, losing the feeling of my legs and arms, yet fully aware. The fuzzy aura reaching my brain, shutting down trains of thought, shutting down me. I hope it stays... I find myself on a sandy beach, stretching out for what must be miles, light green beach plants, thin and frail from lack of soil, line the scenery behind me. I hear the crashing of ocean waves, the subtle difference between the large and small, the silence that fills the air. I smell the salty breeze, heavy with moisture, feel it grab my hair and feel it try to pull it away, failing. I look at my hands; notice the tiny fingers of a child- the fingers belonging to a boy named Edogawa Conan. Why was I him? He should be gone. I brush sand off my clothes, a formal white-long sleeved shirt only buttoned three-quarters of the way up, exposing part of my pale peach chest, and long khaki pants. Why this formal apparel? I realize that there are no glasses on my face, the symbol of my imprisonment as the mysterious kid gone, revealing my freedom. I relish it; at least I'm Shinichi, not his faint shadow, Conan, who can only dream of one day becoming real, not just an alias. Besides, I killed Conan. There's no way in hell I'm reviving him. Glancing up, I see a tall, young adult, skin as dark as caramel. His pristine, snow-white shirt is almost shining, the dark blue button-up jacket highlighting the effect, providing a major contrast. I don't even reach his hips, the only thing I clear are his long, muscular legs, hidden by the cover of black jeans. I know who it is. It's none other than Hattori. I watch as his eyes scan the beach, searching for people. He doesn't see mini little me, an elf compared to his tall stature, not bothering to look down. His eyes of glimmering emerald gleaming with curiosity and a hint of loneliness. His mouth curves into a frown. I don't want that. Almost unconsciously, I reach for his dangling arm; feel the power and warmth immediately. A sense of utter confidence erupts inside of me- I know exactly how I'll play this game. "Heiji-niichan!" I cry in Conan's naïve, childish voice. I put on a smile, the one I'd use to trick people into thinking I was no more than a mere kid. No more than first-grade Edogawa Conan. He looks down in complete surprise, a wide red blush spreading across his face. My grin widens at his embarrassment, and I almost laugh. It feels really weird to say this but he looks (what is wrong with me) absolutely adorable. He almost seems to recoil, and I feel a tiny blush on my own cheeks. Once again, K-A-W-A-I-I. I need to smack myself later. "K-Kudo," he stutters, sounding both ridiculous and nervous, though his expression shows he was obviously going after apathetic. He's always been bad at hiding emotions I guess. He adjusts his shirt, trying to look away and yet his eyes, the verdant jade, are definitely locked onto mine, an invisible beam connecting them. "What's up, Hattori?" I ask, waiting for a hopefully just-as-pleasing reply. I want to see that precious blush again. I want to make it happen, watch him blush deeper, voice shaky as if deprived of air, attempt to speak monotone, instead failing. It'd be nice to know if I was the only one who could do that. He scratches his neck, hesitates, and then answers, tone steadier than before. "Nothing much on my part, except-" He pauses, stopping, face seeming to steam. "Except what, Hattori?" My voice comes out deeper, a sound I couldn't achieve without a machine as Coman. The moment the words leave my mouth, I feel older, taller, and and now to his forehead, the true Kudo Shinichi. Surprisingly, without the pain there usually was in transforming. Whatever, I'm still shorter than him and for some reason, it really irks me. I'm an adult, and the kid that's been hard-wired into me is complaining on not being the biggest. Shut up, Conan, I think, knowing what an absolute idiot I must sound like. It seems as if he is even more embarrassed in front of Kudo Shinichi than Edogawa Conan, expression changing into a incomprehensible flustered look. I can feel him against me, his leg as I pull him along slowly, the synchronized movement of our bodies, fluid like water, shift together. His hand is clenched tightly in mine, having not let go since grabbing him. Why should I? It feels warm and comforting, a blanket of safety I haven't had before. Like a shield. "Kudo, do you mind if I call you Shinichi?" he asks, stammering as he looks down, tapping his foot agitatedly. "You can call me Heiji if you want to- I just though that because we're best friends that it'd be okay to address each other by first names and that-" He cuts off, face somehow even redder than before. I giggle quietly before answering, trying to capture the image of his adorable, embarrassed face and lock it into my memory. "Fine by me, Heiji." I emphasize his name, see a faint trace of joy on his face, precious viridian irises returning to their normal look, a strong, powerful fire. "Ku- Shinichi," he corrects himself, staring down at me. Then he closes them, takes a deep breath, leaving me hanging onto the sound of my name, the sound still echoing in my ear. Shinichi, Shinichi, Shinichi... Like a beautiful song, made magical by his smooth voice. I know that I must look like he did right now, but a mask keeps most of from showing through. I've gotten pretty good at Poker Faces. No, he's opening his mouth, ready to speak again, and I want to hear what he says, need to. "How would you react if I told you I've fallen in love with you?" He might as well have set off fireworks. Hattori- no Heiji said he likes me. Said he loves me. Oh my god, oh my god! I think, mind reeling with happy surprise. Heiji... But I have to play this cool, I'm going to show him what I can offer. If he's fire, then I'll just be ice. In a cool, sarcastic, hopefully seductive voice, I say, "Hypothetically speaking?" That's right, Shinichi. Play your hand slowly, don't show him what you've got. This is how the game works. You can completely win him over here "Yeah, we can go with that. Then, hypothetically speaking, what would you do?" His voice is filled with yearning, begging me for an answer. I almost feel like petting him; he reminds me of a puppy. "Well first," I start, lowering my voice to a purr-like tone. "I would smile like this." I let out a smirk, one that shows arrogance in every place you could look. As he looks on in surprise, I let go of his hand, and move my tenacious fingers upwards towards the bases of his arms, grabbing them tightly. "Then I would do this." I lean up against him, put my face barely two inches in front of his, close enough to make out every detail on his dark-toned skin, the perfection I see there. I press my hands inwards, almost hugging him, breathing cool air over his face. Oh yeah, I'm definitely enjoying this. "Shinichi? W-what're you doing?" He might as well be shrieking, his voice is so high. I can feel his quick, steady heartbeat, the warmth of his body as the blood runs through his veins. This moment is so right; I can tell. And now's the time. "Quiet Heiji, or you'll miss the grand finale." With an unprecedented urge I press my lips to his, feel the blood boil as my tongue slips in. My grip on his arms grows tighter as I lean farther in, standing on the balls of my feet, needing to feel more of him. He answers back, giving me as much as I've given him, both of us trapped in a flurry of passion, hunger, dire need for each other. How have I survived before this? How have I lived without experiencing this? This is life, this is what it should feel like, a torrent of love, taking place where time is put on pause, and minds lose control. So what is controlling me? Instinct, down to my animal core, feral desire, proclaiming that Heiji is mine, mine, mine. That I belong to him. That we are meant for each other. The fireworks continue in my mind, bringing heat and color as we kiss. Red as I hold him tighter, green as he wraps his arms against my waist, blue as he starts to rip open my shirt, and it's almost too much for me. This isn't the time for that. I push him away unwillingly; see his jade-hued eyes open in wonder, my arrogant face reflected in the emerald orbs. "Any other questions you'd like answered hypothetically?" I ask, a desperate tone behind it, but it's disguised by my obvious arrogance. Instead of answering, he stands stock-still, head tilted sideways as if listening to something. He has a quizzical expression on his face, and he seems to be staring into space. "Oy, Heiji!" I cry, but he doesn't seem to hear, walking off away from me. Don't leave! Don't leave me! I silently beg. I'm sorry I stopped you. "Oy!" His silhouette starts to fade, becoming less solid, more ghostly, almost sparkling in the strange light. What's going on? What the hell is going on?! A strong wind picks up, throwing grains of sand at my body and face, burning them as I scan through the storm for Heiji. Where'd he go? He was only a few feet away from me! Eyes closed, I try and feel for him, whimpering, "Heiji, don't leave without me. Please!" "Kudo-kun..." The voice emanates from the heavens, a familiar one that rings until it becomes deafening. "Kudo-kun, wake up!" Haibara's face is right in front of me, eyes shining with worry. She's panting, a sign that she's probably been yelling for a while. And if she's been yelling and no one else is in the room, then that means Heiji isn't here yet. Dammit! That was the entire reason I went to sleep! Now I have to wait even longer for him to come, wait even longer to hear his voice for real. Though dream it might have been, it felt like reality. I could sense his warmth, his desperate touch as his fingers brushed my skin, trying to force open my shirt, that sensation, the fear, the need, the all-consuming hunger. I need him, I need him, I need him. There is no fact more simple, more true. I have to see him again, taste his fire, look into his bright green eyes, hear him say, "How would you react if I told you I've fallen in love with you?" I only need it once. "Kudo-kun!" Haibara calls, once again pushing me back into wakefulness. "Are you okay?" "Why the fuck wouldn't I be, bitch?" I never said I'd be a perfect angel when answering people. I am so pissed; she scared away my utopia-like daydreams and fantasies. Not to mention insults are hard-wired into my system. She recoils in shock, and her expression is enough to make my insides snicker with satisfaction. Serves her right. "I was just concerned about your well-being. If you have enough energy to bad mouth me like that, then I guess you're almost recovered." Her words are laced with venom, but I'm completely immune to it. 'Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me' and all that random bullshit. Besides, only a few people can truly damage me- the most obvious one being Ran. Perhaps a few hurtful sentences from Heiji would also be painful, but I've never experienced that before, and I sincerely hope I don't have to. Just the thought makes me want those painkillers. Kinda funny how just this morning when I woke up, still dark, clock showing 2:30 A.M. I decided to end everything. I knew that Haibara kept all the medicine in her unlocked cabinet, and stealthily stole (well, it was more to make sure than because of actual 'danger') a canister of pills. As a detective I know that about twelve are usually enough to be lethal. If I did this, there was a 75% chance I'd never see the sun again. When you're contemplating suicide, you'd be surprised at how many times you change your mind in a minute. Can't stand living anymore, what would my friends do, I don't give a damn about anything, who would cry, and finally, one side gained victory. But I was still scared- would it hurt? Would it burn? The APTX had given me tolerance to pain, but I hadn't actually died. This would kill me. Was I prepared? What came after this? I forced myself to shake all these questions away, took a beer out of the fridge, and opened the bottle. It cleared my mind and cooled my parched throat. Shook out what must have been over a dozen of the little capsules, illuminated only by faint traces of light from the window Haibara had thoughtfully opened. No wonder it was so damn cold. I swallowed my fears, swallowed the pills, gulped the entire thing down with a swish of Budweiser. Felt the effects immediately, fell back onto the bed, breathing shallow, head dizzy. Couldn't see, only hearing my ragged breaths and now disjointed heartbeat, da-bump! Da-bump! A black veil, my fingers slipping, pain, burning hot, tearing at my brain. Reaching my heart. Sweat covering my entire body, soaking my clothes and the bed. Thoughts not connecting, no thinking to be done. An almost inaudible crack of glass, the sound of footsteps, loud and rushed, coming down the stairs, the door slamming against the wall, Haibara's gasp, me starting to fade away. Something else snakes its way into my mouth, something disgusting and revolting. I retch up everything, taste the foul alcohol slide off my tongue with the half-dissolved pills. What was going on? Pain-killers are supposedly painless. "Kudo-kun!" she cried, outside of my visual capabilities. "Answer me! Tell me you're okay!" Little hands shaking me, my head spinning. What had made it hurt so much? The beer? The changes the APTX had made to my DNA? Doesn't matter, I wasn’t dead. I was breathing, not stone-still. Not sure whether or not to be grateful or depressed. Not sure if I would make it to morning. "What the hell is wrong with you, Kudo-kun?!" yells Haibara, face in front of me. "You might as well be on the moon for all the spacing off you've been doing! Why can't you at least listen to me?" "I don't feel like it. The only voice I'd like to hear is Heiji's. At least he doesn't act like an overprotective mother hen!" She raises her eyebrows in suspicion as I say 'Heiji' instead of 'Hattori' but she shuts her mouth. "I'll let you know when he gets here then," she replies brusquely, not looking me in the eyes, leaving the room. Good riddance. Her departure once again heralds loneliness, and I fall back down, wishing for Heiji, already imagining our reunion, made perfect by my mind. I want it, I want it, I want it so badly. Goddamn it, why aren't you fucking here yet, Heiji?

Meanie. LOL XD What anime are your avatars coming from?

Yay! I'm on the list! I wanna meet you too!