Samantha
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Everything posted by Samantha
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Our team won the debate. AND I got award for 'Best Speaker'. Oh YEAH.
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Congratulations!
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How the standards have fallen. :V
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@Mark: </3 *depressed*
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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might just also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you dolt, somebody's stolen our tent!"
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A man goes into a pub ten stories up. He sits down at the bar next to a second man. The second man leans over and whispers "Get the same as what I'm having." "Why?" says the first man. "Because if you drink it you'll be able to fly," says the second man. "That's impossible." The second man chugs his drink, flies out the window and round the building and sits back down. "Wow!" the first guy says, orders the same drink as the second man, chugs it, jumps out the window and goes splat. The barman shakes his head at the second man and says "You can be really mean when you're drunk, Superman."
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Dear Anonymous, I don't want you to leave. I don't want things to change. Everything's perfect now...but if you do leave, I'll understand. Doesn't mean I won't miss you. Your friend, ~Samantha
Why?
