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...doesn't matter what happens to me, as long as everybody else...as long as everybody else can smile! Do you know how many times I've doubted? I am a Judas in Every. Single. Damn. Way.

God has a plan. You only see a little corner of it and you think you know it all, but YOU DON'T. It's like a picture, covered with a piece of paper with a tiny square cut out. You wouldn...

It doesn't matter how many times you fall down, it matters how many times you stand up! Do you know how many times I have wondered...what if there isn't anything up there? What if my prayers are falling on deaf ears? But the little miracles are what keeps me going, the little things that have happened to my friends, to my family, to those I barely even know, to YOU, to DCW! It d...

...will knock the roof off of your little house in your little corner and you'll have no choice but to believe. If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain. We have a purpose on Earth. I used to think of you as one of the most positive people I have ever known...now I'm not so sure.

I want to slap you. I'm sorry, but I do.

Your heart is closed up. God doesn't barge through your door. He knocks. You either choose to be a Judas or a Peter. Judas spent most of his life next to Jesus, but every chance he got to get closer to the Holy Spirit, he refused. Peter, instead, jumped to conclusions and tried to get closer to Jesus every single damn time.

Someday, God...

*ned

...rned evil? God can't approach you when your heart is closed up. And that's how I feel your heart is right now. God knocks on the door. It's your responsibility to open it.

...u think that God doesn't feel horrible when you're down? He CREATED you. He feels like you're his son. What kind of father doesn't care about his son? Do you think that God doesn't feel like us? Do you think he doesn't hurt? You know Satan? He used to be an angel. Do you think that God doesn't regret what happened, that he doesn't wish that Satan hadn't tu...

You. Matter. Don't you DARE think you don't matter. You are important. You were my first friend here. If I knew you in real life...I'm sorry, I'd SLAP you. Literally. Don't you dare put yourself down. How are we alone? We have each other. God CARES about you. He hurts when you cry! He hurts every time you feel sad, despaired, or depressed! He FEELS for you! Do yo...

So THAT'S how you feel? If you don't believe, how can you expect him to help? If you don't hope, how can you imagine things getting better? Life isn't perfect, but if you don't live it, how do you know if it's worth it? Do you think that life just comes to an abrupt end? What's our purpose then? To just exist? I think that what we live for is much more than that.

No, it's my fault. Let's change the subject, shall we? And...it's true what I said below, when something troubles me, I don't feel comfortable telling anyone.

I'm sorry for my stupid personality! I hate pushing any troubles onto anybody, friend or foe! I'd rather keep it shut inside, and I hate telling any of my friends any of my troubles...it just makes me feel horrible.

*sighs* What do I keep a secret from you that prevents you from believing that I think of you as a true friend?

Even friends are known to keep secrets from each other. I keep secrets from everyone, even my closest friends sometimes.

SHINICHI IS AWESOME. And I need more sleep too. Haven't been getting enough.

Is that good? Oh, and see you.