So! This is a thread of, basically, letters. Kind of like Dear Blank Please Blank, but you don't have to wait for DBPB to publish it. Can be thanks, but I'm guessing it'll mostly be to annoying people. No, you don't have to use "Anonymous".
Something to start us off...
Dear Anonymous,
Last time I checked, my job wasn't to watch your locker for you. Cough up the money or your dear locker's Secret Service will have disappeared.
Signed, Unpaid-Secret-Service-Agent
:V