Ah... I see what you mean when you say 'selfish when loving someone'.
Have you ever heard the story about the lady or the tiger? A princess's lover was accused of an act. He had a chance to live though. He was put in an arena, facing two identical doors. Behind one, a bloodthirsty tiger. The other, one of the most fairest ladies in the country. If he chose the lady, they would be immediately wed and would live a happy life.
The princess went and looked who was behind which door. For days, she struggled on her desicion. Let her lover die a bloody death, or die happily married. She didn't want her lover to die like that, but she despised the lady with all of her being.
When the moment came to choose, the princess moved her hand right, a motion only her lover had seen. Without hesitation, he went to the right door and opened it.
The question is, what was behind the door? The lady or the tiger? What do you think the princess chose?