Misaki-chan 164 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 Great!!! I just woke up XD That's great! ^^ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 Yeah... It's really... Well, nothing's set in stone. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IdentityUnknown 216 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 It's not bad, Chelsea, but there are a few points that you could tweak to make it more interesting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 Tips please? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kaitou Kid Legendary Thief 197 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 Late riser. Hey! It's you whose early~ I'm not really late Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IdentityUnknown 216 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 For the lawyer part, instead of just having her (?) keep the money, you could have an "accident" happen to the lawyer, temporarily putting her out of commission. Then you need to make at least several people suspicious suspects or have everyone seem to be perfectly innocent. Question: Both on the run? Have something happen instead, like the best friend's house get bombed or something and then say that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 How can you be late? @Saki-chan Uhm... The best friend idea has given me inspiration. Thanks!! Maybe the crime people found out and decided to kill the best friend and her family. Now they're both on the run. And... What do you mean for the lawyer? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IdentityUnknown 216 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 Hey! It's you whose early~ I'm not really late Nah, I'm late today. Which means you're really late. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kaitou Kid Legendary Thief 197 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 Nah, I'm late today. Which means you're really late. Lol!! You're usually awfully early so today you're early. I came earlier than usual too how can you consider coming online at 8am be late? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IdentityUnknown 216 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 Lol!! You're usually awfully early so today you're early. I came earlier than usual too how can you consider coming online at 8am be late? Because it is! By 8 AM half the people in my house are gone! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 What do you mean by the lawyer, Saki-chan? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IdentityUnknown 216 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 Just give it a little twist so the lawyer doesn't escape unharmed. Yes, I'm a bit sadistic right now. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Misaki-chan 164 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 Just give it a little twist so the lawyer doesn't escape unharmed. Yes, I'm a bit sadistic right now. I say put her in a coma. (I'm weird, I like having people in comas) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 ....Uh, why? You got a rep for that? XD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kaitou Kid Legendary Thief 197 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 Because it is! By 8 AM half the people in my house are gone! By 8am everybody in my house is gone! So I can sleep peacefully for another hour or so!!! XD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IdentityUnknown 216 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 I say put her in a coma. (I'm weird, I like having people in comas) That could work. ....Uh, why? You got a rep for that? XD Just a twist to the plot, make it more interesting, keep everything IC. People who are attempting murder on 14-year olds for a key to inheritance probably wouldn't hesitate to kill the lawyer (or blackmail the lawyer) who is in charge of it. I don't know why or how I got a rep for that. Nor do I know who gave it to me. :V As I said, people often give reps for random things. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 YOU GOT A REP FOR THAT?!?! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: UWAH!! Huh... Yeah, that makes sense. Oh, her best friend is 16. But why a coma? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kid the Phantom Thief 252 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 Jean... You got one more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Misaki-chan 164 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 People get reps for the strangest of things. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 I KNOW RIGHT? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kaitou Kid Legendary Thief 197 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 How about the lawyer's bad stuff is found out and is threatened to cheat the money from the girl and she turned evil and the one who threatened was her best friend and they both plot to murder her to get the money together :twisted: Haha joking. but the story was quite interesting. When will the main guy character appear then? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 I was thinking about that... I dunno. :/ Any ideas? Maybe he's the lead bad guy. Oh, and my plans for the lawyer was she was going to adopt the daughter at the end... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kid the Phantom Thief 252 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 Well, I must say it is a good story you've thought of there, Chelsea! Hope you'll be able to complete it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kaitou Kid Legendary Thief 197 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 Hmmmm how about lead bad guy who turned good Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IdentityUnknown 216 Report post Posted August 11, 2011 YOU GOT A REP FOR THAT?!?! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: UWAH!! Huh... Yeah, that makes sense. Oh, her best friend is 16. But why a coma? Jean... You got one more. I noticed. Probably same person. People get reps for the strangest of things. That's what I said. Hmmmm how about lead bad guy who turned good Are you just dragging parts from DCW IRL into here? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
