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New Fanfic, Chapter One

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Greetings, everybody!  Chapter one is completed! I still don't have a title for the series or for this chapter, so please let me know if you have any suggestions! This is just the first chapter of what I am planning to be an ongoing series. As such, it does not yet incorporate any of the major plans I have for the story. Not even all of the major characters appear in this chapter. Instead, this chapter lays the groundwork for what is to come. I have tried to remain true to the feel of Detective Conan, so I hope you guys will let me now whether you think I have achieved that. I also hope you will post your thoughts on the story itself; was the mystery believable, was it too hard, too easy, did I keep everyone in character well enough? I am going to start work on chapter two, but it won't be posted until I have at least three responses to this one, so make sure to comment if you enjoy it! Thanks for reading!!!

 

DISCLAIMER:  I do not own Detective Conan or its characters; they are the property of Aoyama Gosho, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Funimation, and any other companies or individuals with a legal copyright claim. This is a work of fanfiction, written for entertainment purposes only. I neither seek nor accept compensation for this material. If anyone (legal owners of the series/characters or fellow fans) wishes to distribute, recreate, or expand on this work, I ask only for notification. C&C are not only welcome, but greatly appreciated. MSTs are greatly enjoyed. Flames are laughed at, then greatly ignored. Now, please enjoy the story.

 

CHAPTER ONE

 

 

 

 

 

   Conan was on his way home from school when he saw a young woman outside the Mouri Detective Agency. She had long brown hair pulled back into a tight braid and wore professional attire. At first glance, he thought she was probably just a customer of Cafe Poirot, then he noticed the sad, almost lost look on her face. Actually, she may very well be here to see Occhan, he thought. Deciding she would come up to the detective agency when she was ready, he started up the stairs, but was quickly stopped by the woman's voice.

   “Do you know Mouri-tantei, little boy?”

   He turned and smiled at her. “Yes, ma'am,” he replied. “I'm his assistant.”

   The lady smiled back, the expression making her look almost like a different person. “Could you introduce me to him, assistant tantei-san? My name is Maehara Reiko, and I need to hire him to find my fiance.”

   “Do you have a picture of him?” Conan inquired. “Kogoro-ojiisan will want to see one.”

   “Yes, I've brought one with me,” she answered, reaching into her small purse. She pulled out a photograph and handed it to Conan.

   Conan briefly reviewed the photograph, which showed a young man approximately the same age as Maehara Reiko standing next to an older man, with his arm around the man's shoulders. Both men were similarly dressed with bandannas around their necks, their clothes dusty and sweat pouring from their bodies, but they had large and friendly smiles on their faces.

   “Follow me, Maehara-san,” Conan said before leading her up the stairs and into the detective agency. “Tadaima,” he called as he set his school bag down next to the door where it would be out of the way before walking toward Kogoro's desk.

   “Welcome home, Conan-kun,” Ran said.

   “Ojiisan, this is Maehara Reiko-san,” he said, indicating the woman who had entered behind him. “She is a business lady who would like you to find her fiance. Apparently he is an archaeology student who has gone missing,” he explained as he set the photo on the desk in front of the detective.

   “Archaeology?” Ran inquired with interest.

   “Archaeologists are like history detectives,” Conan explained. “They find artifacts from a long time ago that help them figure out what happened in the past. Like Indiana Jones!”

   Reiko looked at Conan in surprise. “How did you know all that?” she asked. “I only told you my name and that I needed Mouri-tantei to find my fiance, not either of our occupations.”

   Conan smiled. “I knew you work in business because you are wearing well kept, professional clothing. That means you must work in an office environment. But it's not a really fancy or expensive brand, so you are probably not a lawyer or executive. As for your fiance, the picture tells it all. He is standing next to an older man, but there is no familial resemblance, so I can tell the man is his superior or instructor of some type; probably a college professor. Because of how much they are sweating, it is clear this was taken somewhere hot, and their work keeps them outdoors. They're not dressed like construction workers, and I see fine-bristled brushes in both of their breast pockets. Painters wouldn't put their brushes in their pockets that way, but would instead keep them with the rest of their equipment. An archaeologist, however, would want a fine brush like that close at hand so he could dust off any artifacts he recovers during a dig, the same with the picks they also have in their pockets. Then there is the clothing. It is all dusty, which happens at archaeological dig sites, plus they have bandannas around their necks, which they would pull up over their noses and mouths while they work so they don't breathe in all that dust.” Noticing the stunned look on the faces of Kogoro, Ran, and Reiko, Conan smiled extra wide. “I saw a program about archaeology on television the other day.”

   “You're amazing, assistant tantei-san,” Reiko said, Conan putting a hand behind his head and laughing in feigned embarrassment. “You're exactly right.” She looked at Kogoro. “If even your assistant is that good, I definitely came to the right place. Yes, I finished my Bachelor of Business Administration last year and have been working at the corporate office for a large company ever since. My fiance, Miyazaki Akira, is indeed an archaeology student. He has been away on a dig with his professor for about a year now, but has always called from time to time. However, there have been no calls from him in three months and I'm starting to fear something has happened to him.”

   “I know how you feel,” Ran said with a frown. “There is someone I never get to see as well, and he goes long periods of time without calling. I worry about him, too.”

   “Where is your fiance's dig?” Conan hurriedly asked to change the subject.

   “Akira's dig is at Puma Punku, near Tiahuanaco, Bolivia,” she explained.

   Kogoro's eyes widened in shock. “I'm sorry, miss, but I can't travel to Bolivia to look for your fiance.”

   Reiko shook her head. “I don't expect you to, at least not immediately. I thought you could check with the university to find out if they have received any information, or maybe with Akira's family. They don't really like me because I'm not traditional enough, but they might open up to the famous Sleeping Kogoro. I have a list of phone numbers for you.” She pulled a slip of paper from her purse and handed it to Kogoro. “I will, of course, pay for the telephone expenses should any international calls be necessary. And, if it comes to the point that a trip to the site is required, I will pay for your tickets and compensate you for your trouble. It will take all of my savings, but I believe I can give you one million yen, plus the expenses?” she said, her voice turning it into a question.

   “Very well,” the detective responded, his head full of thoughts about horse races, fancy dinners, and the nearest pachinko parlor. “I believe that will be sufficient. I see you've included your phone number so I can contact you with any findings.”

   “Yes, sir.”

   “Then I will get to work immediately! I am sure I will have you in touch with your fiance within a week!” Kogoro raised his arm, striking a pose of confidence and success. He then handed her one of his gaudy golden business cards. “Please call me if you think of anything else that might help me with the search.”

   Reiko thanked the detective as he walked her to the door, then she quietly left the office, an air of hope surrounding her.

   “One million yen!” shouted Kogoro. “Just think of what we can do!” He returned to his desk and picked up the phone, a huge grin on his face.

 

* * *

 

   Two days and many phone calls later, Kogoro felt frustrated. Apparently none of Miyazaki Akira's family had heard from him either. A call to the university's archaeology department had revealed what hotel the professor was staying in. His call to the hotel, once the language barrier was overcome, had led to the discovery that the professor was hospitalized for yellow fever, and apparently Akira was staying at a different hotel. An internet search claimed to have found 50 hotels near Tiahuanaco, but the five closest to the Puma Punku site had no listings for a guest by the name of Miyazaki Akira. He was starting to fear that Akira was sharing a room with a fellow student and the room was in the other's name. The university had been unwilling to release a list of the students on the dig, even to the great Mouri Kogoro, so he was stuck calling more hotels.

   It was 9:29 PM, meaning the time in Tiahuanaco was 8:29 AM. Kogoro sat down at his desk, ready to start making calls again, when the phone rang.    “Mouri Detective Agency,” he said after picking up.

   “Mouri-kun,” came the voice from the other end of the line, “do you know a Maehara Reiko? We found your business card in her apartment.”

   “Megure-keibu!” Kogoro said in surprise. “She's a client. What is this about?”

   “I'm sorry to tell you this, Mouri-kun, but your client is dead,” replied the inspector. “She fell from the balcony of her apartment about half an hour ago.”

   “Suicide?” Kogoro asked.

   “It seems that way, but we're not sure yet,” Inspector Megure explained.

   “I'm on my way,” said the detective, hanging up the phone just as Ran and Conan walked into the room.

 

* * *

 

   Kogoro, Ran, and Conan arrived at the scene shortly after that. The detective frowned at the two youths as the police officer at the door let them in. “Why are you two here again?”

   Conan laughed. “We want to see you work, Occhan!”

   “It doesn't sound like there will be much work,” Kogoro said in a sour voice, his mind full of the million yen he would no longer receive. “It's probably suicide.”

   Upon reaching the top floor where Maehara Reiko's apartment was located, they found Detective Takagi talking to a man outside an open apartment door. He turned to face them as they approached.

   “Mouri-san, Ran-san, Conan-kun, what are you doing here?” asked the police detective.

   “Maehara-san was a client,” explained Kogoro. “The inspector called me.”

   “The inspector is inside,” Takagi said, pointing through the open door with his pen. “I need to finish taking the building manager's statement. The apartment was locked, so we had to get him to let us in.”

   “Hey, Manager-san,” said Conan curiously, “do the apartment doors lock automatically?”

   The manager shook his head. “No, they are standard locks that have to be locked manually from inside or with a key from outside.”

   Conan nodded in understanding and followed Ran and Kogoro into the apartment. As he passed, Conan inspected the door jamb and doorknob. No signs of forced entry, he thought to himself.

   The apartment was fairly compact, but looked comfortable. Just right for the salary of a businesswoman.

   “Mouri-kun,” Inspector Megure greeted somberly.

   “What happened here, Inspector?” asked Kogoro.

   Conan started looking around the apartment as he listened to the inspector.

   The inspector pulled his police notebook from a pocket inside his jacket and said, “According to witnesses outside the building, at 8:57 PM, Maehara Reiko-san fell from her apartment balcony.” Megure pointed to the sliding glass doors on the wall opposite the apartment's entrance. “Initial examination of the body revealed no sign of injury aside from what would be expected from the fall. The door to her apartment was locked. Once the building manager let us in, we found the room as you see it now. There doesn't appear to have been any struggle to force the victim from the balcony, so we were just about to wrap this up as a suicide, at least until the autopsy is completed. If anything strange comes up, we'll look into it further. Sorry you came all the way here for nothing,” he concluded, tucking the notebook back into his pocket.

   “Ah le le!” said Conan, drawing everyone's attention to the kitchen. “Megure-keibu, you forgot to hang the phone up after you called Occhan!”

   “I didn't use the apartment phone, Conan-kun,” the inspector replied, “I called from my cell phone.”

   Kogoro bopped Conan on the head before picking him up by the collar of his jacket. “Megure-keibu is a professional investigator! He knows better than to use the phone at a crime scene, stupid brat!” The detective threw Conan over to Ran. “Stay out of the way!”

   “Hold on! You can't go in there!” came Takagi's voice from the hall, followed immediately by two women who strode purposefully into the apartment, Takagi trailing ineffectively behind with the building manager in tow.

   “Reiko-chan!” called the leading woman. “Reiko-chan, where are you?”

   “Who are you?” the second woman asked, stopping in front of Megure. “What's going on here? Where's Reiko-san?”

   “I'm Inspector Megure with the Metropolitan Police,” he started before the other woman cut him off.

   “Police?” she asked in shock. “Was my sister robbed? Is she okay? Where is she?”

   Kogoro stepped forward. “I'm sorry, ma'am, but it seems your sister jumped off her balcony this evening.”

   Tears started to stream down the woman's face as she let out a pained wail.

   “Impossible!” the other woman declared. “There's no way Reiko-san would commit suicide! She just got a big promotion at work! She was really excited!”

   “Okay,” said Megure, taking out his notebook again. “Let's back up a little here. First give me your names and relationship to the deceased.”

   “My name is Amano Yuriko,” the woman responded. “I met Reiko-san two years ago while she was going to college with my younger sister. She had trouble finding a job after finishing her BBA last year, so I got her hired on at my company. We've been working together ever since. Like I said, Reiko-san just got promoted at work and was excited. She was planning to move into a bigger apartment where her fiance could move in with her when he returns from his dig. There's no way she would kill herself!”

   Megure turned to the sister, who had composed herself enough to speak.

   “I'm Maehara Yue. Reiko is my little sister. We've always been close, though we've had some disagreements lately about her fiance.”

The inspector raised an eyebrow inquiringly.

   “Oh!” said Yue in surprise. “It wasn't anything serious! Her fiance is an archaeology student who is always away on some dig or expedition. She's been really depressed because she never gets to see him and he hardly calls any more. I keep telling her to let the jerk go! He's already married to archaeology! I even talked to him about it the last time he deigned to visit. But he still insists on stringing her along!”

   Conan didn't like were this was going at all. A glance at Ran showed that the woman's words that it had gotten her thinking as well. “Did Reiko-neesan give either of you a key to her apartment?” he hurriedly asked, mentally noting that Shinichi needed to call Ran more often.

   “My sister was a very private person,” said Yue. “She never gave me a key, and I doubt she gave one to anyone else.”

   Megure nodded and turned to the building manager, sparing a quick glare at Takagi for not completing the man's interview.

   “I'm Mifune Kotaro,” the older man said. “I've been manager of this building for about 13 years. I've known Maehara-san since she moved in last year, though I've never really talked to her much. She's a good tenant, always on time with the rent, never causes problems for anyone.”

   While the others focused on the manager, Conan moved back to the kitchen to give the phone a closer inspection. The handset was still out of its cradle. He withdrew a handkerchief from his pocket and picked it up to set it back in place. Still using the handkerchief, he pressed the call log button. At 8:54, it seemed, Reiko had received a incoming call from an unknown number. Conan looked around to flag down Takagi, but the group had moved closer to the balcony door where they were out of sight from the phone. He walked back into the living room, but rather than getting Takagi's attention immediately, he strolled out onto the balcony as he considered what this could mean. A mysterious phone call only moments before she plunged to her death? The phone left off its cradle? Something just didn't add up. It didn't feel right. As he pondered this, Conan noticed a strange mark on the rail. It looked like a mark from the sole of a shoe. He quickly went back into the apartment, calling, “Occhan! I found something out here!”

   Kogoro walked out onto the balcony. “What is it, brat?”

   Conan pointed out the scuff mark, and was once again bopped on the head for his trouble.

   “Clearly it's a mark from when Reiko-san put her foot up on the rail before she jumped!” shouted Kogoro. “Stop wasting my time!”

   You're wrong, Ojiisan, Conan thought. Making sure Ran wasn't paying attention, he dashed from the apartment and quickly found the stairs. He went up to check the door for the roof access, but found that it was locked and had not been tampered with. He then rushed down to the apartment one floor below Reiko's. He tested the door knob and found it locked, but close inspection revealed small scratches around the door jamb and lock. Returning to Reiko's apartment, Conan glanced at the shoes by the entrance as he went in, then saw that the manager no longer seemed to be involved in the conversation and waved him over. “Hey, Manager-san,” he asked in a conspiratorial whisper, “who lives in the apartment under this one?”

   “Nobody right now,” replied Mifune. “The man that lived there moved out a week ago. It's being repaired right now before anyone else can move in. The electrician is costing a fortune!”

   Conan lowered his head, light gleaming off his glasses as a smirk crossed his face. So that's how it was!

   A quick look around the room revealed that Takagi had moved to the balcony and was examining the mark Conan had pointed out to Kogoro.

   “Takagi-keiji,” Conan said as he stepped once more onto the balcony, “Kogoro-ojiisan wants you to do something.”

   The police detective leaned in and listened carefully as Conan whispered instructions to him, then he departed, taking the building manager with him.

   Looking back into the apartment, Conan saw that the others were still near the door to the balcony.

   “Well, this is clearly a suicide,” Kogoro was saying. “There's no reason to keep us here all night.”

   Yue and Yuriko both turned and started for the apartment door as well.

   Conan quickly opened up his watch and carefully took aim before shooting a knockout dart into Kogoro's neck. The detective stumbled around for a moment, arms swinging wildly, before he collapsed onto the sofa, fast asleep. Stealthily, Conan moved behind him and placed the receiver speaker for the voice changing bow tie in the neck of Kogoro's suit. He then made sure the tie was set to Kogoro's voice and started to speak.

   “Hold on, we need to wrap this up before you ladies leave.”

   “Mouri-kun!” Megure said in surprise.

   “But you just said there was no need to stay all night,” replied Yuriko.

   “Indeed there's not,” replied Kogoro's voice. “This will just take a few moments more.”

   “I thought you just said this was a suicide,” noted Megure. “What is there to wrap up?”

   “I had to say that,” Conan said into the voice changer. “I wasn't certain what the killer's trick was yet. I decided to let them get comfortable thinking they got away with it until I had the proof I needed!”

   A moment later, the apartment phone began to ring.

   “Wold you please answer that, Inspector?” Kogoro's voice requested.

   With the others following in curiosity, Megure moved to the kitchen and picked up the phone. “Hello?”

   While everyone was focused on Megure and the phone, a muffled thump sounded from the balcony.

   “Hello?” the inspector was still calling into the phone. “Mouri-kun, there's nobody there!”

   Conan spoke once more into the voice changer. “That's fine, Inspector. I have what I need already.”

   There was the sound of the phone being placed back into its cradle, then Megure and the others stepped back into the living room.

   At the same time, Takagi appeared from the balcony and faced Kogoro. “You were right, Mouri-san!”

   Everyone faced Takagi in surprise. “When did you get out there, Takagi?” asked Megure. “I thought you left with the building manager.”

   “I asked him to check something for me,” Kogoro's voice responded before the police detective could speak. “When I had Conan check the roof access and the room beneath this one, he saw signs that someone had broken in downstairs.”

   “At Mouri-san's instruction, I had Mifune-san let me into that apartment,” Takagi explained. “It's currently being repaired in between tenants, so nobody is living there. Furthermore, there are tools and supplies all over the place from the electrician.”

   “Just who do you take orders from, Takagi?” grumbled Megure. “And what does that have to do with you being on the balcony up here?”

   “Sorry, sir,” Takagi replied sheepishly. “I was on the balcony because I came up the same way Mouri-san said the killer got in.”

   When all eyes turned once more to Kogoro, Conan offered the explanation through the voice changer. “The door to the apartment was locked, and neither suspect has a key, so they could neither enter nor exit with the door locked from inside. Since this is the top floor, Reiko-san, like many high rise tenants thought she was perfectly safe leaving her balcony door unlocked, so that was the only means of entry. Conan learned that the roof access is locked and only the manager has the key. Since that door showed no signs of tampering, that means that the culprit had to have entered through the apartment below.”

   “But how did they get up here, Mouri-kun?” the inspector asked.

   “Takagi-keiji already told you,” Kogoro's voice answered calmly. “The tools and supplies left by the electrician. Takagi?”

   “Yes!” the officer said abruptly. “Mouri-san told me to look for some kind of line or rope and something I could use like a grappling hook. I found the coil of heavy duty electrical wire the electrician is using to fix the wiring and a claw hammer. I then wrapped the hammer in some dust cloths that were laying around and tied the end of the wire to it and threw it to this balcony. The cloth muffled the sound of the hammer so you couldn't hear it from inside, then I climbed up using the electrician's ladder and the wire.”

   “But how did you do it without us seeing you?” Megure queried.

   “Like Mouri-san told me, I called Reiko-san's apartment phone first and waited for you to answer.”

   A puzzled look crossed the inspector's face, but Ran glanced from the kitchen entrance to the balcony door and immediately understood.

   “You can't see the balcony from the phone!” the teenage girl said. “The killer called first and waited for Reiko-san to answer to make sure she wouldn't be seen climbing onto the balcony!”

   “Very good, Ran,” Conan said into the voice changer. “While Reiko-san was on the phone, trying to talk to the caller, the murderer climbed onto the balcony as Takagi has done, then barged into the room and took the victim by surprise. That is why the phone was off the hook; Reiko-san didn't have a chance to hang it up when the killer grabbed her from behind and took her to the balcony to throw her off.”

   “Then who did it, Mouri-kun?” asked the inspector. “Who's the killer?”

   “The culprit is none other than YOU,” Kogoro's voice proclaimed, “Amano Yuriko-san!”

   “You're saying I killed my best friend?” the woman questioned in a steady voice. “Have you lost your mind? Even if I did the things you said, how am I supposed to have gotten Reiko-san from the phone to the balcony after I entered? One look at this apartment and it's clear that there was no struggle! Are you saying I simply walked up behind her and asked her to come to the balcony so I could throw her off?”

   “It is most likely that you hit her over the head with something, possibly the hammer you used to anchor the wire to climb up, knocking her out,” Conan explained into his tie. “You could then easily drag her to the balcony without disturbing the room at all. Evidence of such blunt force trauma would easily go unnoticed among the injuries incurred in a fall from this height.”

   “So where's the proof that I called her then?” Yuriko asked sharply. “My number is saved on Reiko-san's phone, so if I called her, it would show it!”

   “You used a cheap prepaid cell phone so the number would come up as an unknown caller. And, before you ask, I'm sure you have already disposed of it somewhere out of the way, so I can't offer it or any fingerprints you may have left on it as proof.”

   “Then you have no evidence!” the woman said sharply, before again turning toward the door. “Anyone could have done those things! Do you see any marks on my hands from climbing up a wire?” She held her open hands up for inspection. “I am going home before you accuse me of anything else! I think I might even call a lawyer!”

   “Good idea, you'll need one,” Kogoro's voice said confidently. “But you won't be calling them from your home. It will be from jail! The last piece of evidence, Takagi!”

   Obligingly, the police detective held up an evidence bag. Inside was a pair of heavy rubber electrician's gloves.

   “I have no doubt that, when these are analyzed, your fingerprints will be found inside them,” Conan concluded through the voice changer.

   A look of horror crossed the woman's face and she collapsed to her knees.

   “Damn her!” whispered Yuriko. “DAMN HER! That promotion was mine! I've been with the company for five years! I got her her job there! Then they pass me over and promote her instead?! With her gone, I could get the advancement I deserved! But now she's getting the last laugh again and sending me to prison! Damn her!”

   “Maehara Reiko is not responsible for you going to prison,” Megure growled. “That is all your own doing! Takagi, get her out of my sight!” The inspector walked over to Kogoro and patted him roughly on the shoulder, jarring him awake. “Great job, Mouri-kun. You solved another one!”

   The private investigator looked up blearily and mumbled, “I did? I mean, of course I did! You should expect nothing less from the great detective Mouri Kogoro!” He laughed excitedly as he struck his triumphant pose.

 

* * *

 

   A short while later, Kogoro, Ran, and Conan had returned home. As it was late, all three settled in quickly, but Conan found he couldn't sleep. Maehara Yue's words kept replaying in his mind. She's been really depressed because she never gets to see him and he hardly calls any more . . . he still insists on stringing her along! Those words still rang in his head as Conan finally drifted off to sleep, along with a thought of his own: Is that what I'm doing to Ran?

 

END CHAPTER ONE

 

So, there you have it. I hope you will let me know your thoughts as I mentioned in the introduction before the story.  I look forward to your responses!

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Ok. Sorry for the delayed answer. I'm kinda bad in giving opinion's too but i'll try it.

 

First of i didn't think you will make cases into your FF. But as you appearently do it's even more better. If you just have the whole story is always about bringing Pair XY together it might seem nice but making cases give's the viewer more the feeling of DC since it is always a part of it. Beside's it's really difficult to make up cases that are logically and reasonable so that the viewer have to think to actually solve a case. And that you did that pretty good. I didn't know who is the culprit until the point it was revealed. It's just as i would imagine a typical 3-culprit murder case of DC. And even if some case's in your story(if you make some more) then it's for me at least ok if they are not completely logical aswell since even in DC there are often cases in which that happens. *cough* fishing lines *cough* ^^

What i don't understand how do the gloves make evidence that she is the culprit? I read it through and still don't get it.

 

Can't say much about the character except that you made them up very good. They are well as they are in the anime/manga actually.

 

And yet i can't say much to the story since the first chapter was more about the case than the story (except the last 4 lines). But if you're going on i'll go into that too of course.

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, okwoco said:

Ok. Sorry for the delayed answer. I'm kinda bad in giving opinion's too but i'll try it.

Not a problem. Took me a while to get it posted after all.

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First of i didn't think you will make cases into your FF. But as you appearently do it's even more better. If you just have the whole story is always about bringing Pair XY together it might seem nice but making cases give's the viewer more the feeling of DC since it is always a part of it.

That's what I was going for. Detective Conan is a series that has many things going on--Black Organization, Shonen Tantei, relationship with Ran, Kaito Kid, etc.--but the one thing that is always there is mystery; the cases. A fanfic that is about nothing but putting character A and character B together wouldn't be true to the series. I have a pairing in mind for this story, but I want it to be believable, which means mysteries have to play a large part, with story exposition coming either as part of the cases, as a result of some aspect of the cases (like in this chapter), or because of events before or after the cases. But there will ALWAYS be a case.

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Beside's it's really difficult to make up cases that are logically and reasonable so that the viewer have to think to actually solve a case. And that you did that pretty good. I didn't know who is the culprit until the point it was revealed. 

Thank you, I was afraid it was too obvious. I feared that, as soon as the suspects were introduced, everybody would immediately realize who did it.

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It's just as i would imagine a typical 3-culprit murder case of DC. And even if some case's in your story(if you make some more) then it's for me at least ok if they are not completely logical aswell since even in DC there are often cases in which that happens. *cough* fishing lines *cough* ^^

I have done some independent study of forensics, so I will always try to ground the cases in my stories in real science. Sometimes it may be simple  (fingerprints inside rubber gloves), other times it may be more complex (DNA from epithelial cells, blood spatter or cast off patterns, etc.), but it will always be grounded in reality. Likewise for the tricks the culprits use. With my bad knee and back, I can't always test the ideas, but I will still limit it to things a normal human being can logically do (like climbing up a heavy wire to reach a balcony one floor up).

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Can't say much about the character except that you made them up very good. They are well as they are in the anime/manga actually.

Thank you. I tried to be true to the characters as well as to the series.

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And yet i can't say much to the story since the first chapter was more about the case than the story (except the last 4 lines). But if you're going on i'll go into that too of course.

 

 

 

For the average episode of Detective Conan, there is little or no development of the overall story of the series. While I will NOT have any episodes that have absolutely no development of the plot, it may sometimes be something small (like the last few lines of this chapter, when Conan is worrying about whether he is stringing Ran along; seemingly something small, but it will have a big impact on our little detective).

 

So it seems you enjoyed the story, which I am glad about. That is the reason I write after all! I was starting to worry that nobody liked it, considering it got up to 20 views and nobody seemed to feel it was good enough to take the time to respond to. If I get a couple more replies, I will post the next chapter. And I still need ideas for the title, both for the series and for this episode. I hope someone who knows the series inside and out like @DCUniverseAficionado or @Chekhov MacGuffin will read the doc and post their thoughts, but I would be thrilled with any responses. So please let me know what you guys think!

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By the way. Ever thought of posting it somewhere else except here too? I mean since this forum is quite small and you might not find enough readers. I could suggest you FanFiction.net for that. It is quite active and people are posting or updating their stories there quite often in the DC-Section. So you could update it there and just post a link on here.

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Sorry for my super-late reply... Haven't been active for some time now. Well, now that I am I have read the story and here's my thoughts...

About the case, I'm not a mystery lover nor my mind is logical enough to comment about the case... Just a tiny question on my slightly dumb brain hihi, how does Conan suspect that...the culprit...is the culprit or is it solely based on fingerprints? You know, cause in the actual DC he usually have pretty good idea about the culprit's identity before forensics report, like when he starts suspecting the culprit because of their actions or alibis... or maybe I overlooked this point....or whatever.... To be honest I'm really not a mystery fan so pardon my lack of enthusiasm in this comment...

For the romance part, I can't really say anything as there haven't been any real development but I can see where this is going more or less... I'm guessing the story's gonna be sad and can't wait to know what happen next 

Overall, this was an awesome chapter and am eagerly waiting for more! Keep it up! :D :wub:

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Conan could tell who the culprit was when he looked at the shoes. Only the culprit's shoes matched the scuff mark on the balcony rail. That's why I made sure to note that he checked the suspects' shoes on his way out of the apartment. I thought I had included the observation in the deduction speech, but I will double check that when I reread it before finishing chapter 2.

 

As I am planning this to be an ongoing series AND I want it to be true to the original series, I can't really throw the romance/tragedy/etc. out there all at once. That's not how the show works, as I'm sure you know. But I am glad you are enjoying it so far. There will be more once the current manga case is concluded.

 

Also, still looking for title ideas. Thanks everyone!

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I guess I really am a bit late at pickuping hihi... When I read your explanation, I was like "ooo...." XD

Yeah, you're right about that 

On 11/15/2016 at 1:43 AM, AnimeOtakuDrew said:

As I am planning this to be an ongoing series AND I want it to be true to the original series, I can't really throw the romance/tragedy/etc. out there all at once. That's not how the show works, as I'm sure you know. But I am glad you are enjoying it so far. There will be more once the current manga case is concluded

 

Also, still looking for title ideas. Thanks everyone!

Even though, that was the most frustrating part, for me at least... Never mind, I guess I'd like it better this way, I AM a fan of Detective Conan hihi

 

I have no idea for the title either, as the plot just beginning to develop but from what I've read so far how about 'True love : For her happiness', you said that this is a AyuCon fanfic and it seems that Ran is also in the picture so the 'her' in the title can refer to both of them... I'm not really good with names, though :D

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