AiSuigetsu

jovan!

*smiles* I should too

Finished first chapter, I think I can guess what's happening.

I won't suicide, I don't have the guts to anyways. But if I ever do decide to disappear, I'll make an explanation. I don't want others to feel guilty for my faults.

I don't know...but I can barely control myself from breaking down everyday. If I can't bring happiness, at least I can stop being a burden.

...then perhaps I'll bear it without mourning. I've tried to create smiles, but I'm not talented enough. I don't know...perhaps I really have changed a lot. I don't recognize myself anymore. I should just isolate myself and stop bringing pain upon others.

Then I hope for a life without happiness, because without it, I won't know what pain is either...

...and I'm giving up on it. I don't want to feel human...I no longer have faith in love.

*smiles*

I don't want another chance...

...I know. I've given up hope for a while...I don't see the purpose in hoping for something I know I'll never have.

I've lost my purpose along the way...along with Ariadne's thread...I can no longer find the way.

But I don't know how. Right now my body is just an empty corpse...what was once inside has died...

I won't die, don't worry...though I wish I could. I don't have the courage to bring on more pain for others...I just don't want to experience any more pain...and if that means losing the feeling of happiness, I would willingly give it up...but I can't...