IdentityUnknown

:V Well, my instructor probably knows best. I just lay on the ground and hoped my vision would come back. It didn't until I had laid down on the sofa for a few minutes. Not to me. I don't like being helpless.

It's not really complaining. It's just I don't feel like I do enough.

Of course. You're my twin. <3 I really wanted to say, "I'm ok. Just give me a few minutes and I'll be walking again." But I couldn't get the words out of my mouth and I kinda realized I wasn't going to be seeing anything (much less walking) any time soon without assistance.

*high fives* Laptop-addicts FTW!

I didn't have anything to hold onto. I just fell. On sand, which was good (took me a month to get the sand out of my riding gloves ). I was so exhausted I just lay there. I didn't faint immediately, just blacked out, then I struggled to get up, fell down again, and just lay still. I fainted for a while. Couldn't see anything. Then I heard my dad and my riding instructor. DIdn't remember much until they put me on the sofa and brought me a drink.

Stubborn? Me? Who are you talking about? *disappears*

LAPTOP! <3 I remember last year. "Hey, Jean, are you homesick?" "No." "Who do you miss most?" "...My laptop?"

I am. But not enough. Which is why I wish I could be...and I feel the only way for that to happen is for me to go through something tough.

*watches BK drag dummy to doctor* :V I only fainted really briefly. My dad (he tried to hide it but it was obvious) was really worried and I think felt a little guilty since I'd wanted to sit down a few minutes before and he wouldn't let me. I think the worst part was that while part of me wanted to get up and start walking again like I was fine, I couldn't see and it was such a relief just to lay there. My dad ended up carrying me along with my riding instructor. I think if they hadn't I would've just blacked out for half an hour. Luckily it was just a couple of minutes. I didn't find it exactly...scary. Of course, I was kinda scared when I couldn't see...but I think it was the helplessness that really got to me. I don't really like relying on anybody.

There are some times when I want to. I've lived such an amazing life. I feel horrible about it.

I know. I still feel that's worse. I've fainted, I know. Almost did the day I got two hours of sleep. Meh. Makes me feel weak. Not exactly the scary part. I thought the black dots got better after summer. Guess not.

Why do I have such a good life? Why don't I appreciate it? Why can't I give it to others? Why can't you keep living, just to see that silver lining in the clouds? Why can't you keep, keeping the flame of hope alive? Why am I so horrible to not be able to do anything? Why can't I help my friends? Why haven't I lived through some horrible experience so I can really relate? Why can't I lend some of my hope to others? Why? Because you've got to make it yourself.

You are important. Very important. Heck, you see white dots. That's worse. And I'm not really all that busy. I've had worse. *chuckles* I'll be fine. Least I've stopped getting up at 5:30 AM. Voluntarily. :V Which reminds me, need to PM you.

Does me being more than your friend count? :V Touche. XD That's better than me in third grade. My best friend was my imagination.

*nudges* Don't worry about me. Worry about yourself. I'm fairly quick with outlines. I just did three yesterday. ...Wait, did I have to send those to my teacher?

I'll try, I'll try. Don't count on it. I also have to write at least two story outlines. Though I may do all 5 and then pick and choose.

@KKLT: Well...tomorrow's the deadline... Even if Mark were here I would probably leave as soon as I greeted him....

;________; Why did I have to leave at that exact moment? ;_________; Then I should probably get to writing my essays. *sighs* @Ai-chan:

I missed Mark...

*is ignored* </3 EDIT: <3 Nice.

*shrugs* Ok I guess. You? Twin! <3

KKLT! <3

...What would that do?

I wish she would stop hurting. I wish she would turn and face the truth. I wish she would rise to the top but not overwork herself. I wish she would be better than me so she can be at the top for once. I wish desperately that I could help her.

... *facepalms*