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I'm in a perpetual state of depression, but most people don't give a crap because they think if I smile about one thing, then I can't possibly be depressed in general.

I must say, I think i'm also in this perpetual state of depression. It's not like i don't smile or laugh or do other normal stuff, it's just that i know that deep down i have this constant depression. I think it's an accumulation of many things that have happened to me in the past several years. Kind of freaks me out to think that I do have depression at such a young age, but yeah more so recently I just have this feeling that I am depressed. Even though I laugh, and smile and all that stuff in front of others. It's like putting on a mask. Well not intentionally. It's just that when I'm left alone (like now), i just think of all sorts of unhappy things.

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I must say, I think i'm also in this perpetual state of depression. It's not like i don't smile or laugh or do other normal stuff, it's just that i know that deep down i have this constant depression. I think it's an accumulation of many things that have happened to me in the past several years. Kind of freaks me out to think that I do have depression at such a young age, but yeah more so recently I just have this feeling that I am depressed. Even though I laugh, and smile and all that stuff in front of others. It's like putting on a mask. Well not intentionally. It's just that when I'm left alone (like now), i just think of all sorts of unhappy things.

Bad thoughts like these arise from dwelling on the past or being uncertain about the future. :(

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I must say, I think i'm also in this perpetual state of depression. It's not like i don't smile or laugh or do other normal stuff, it's just that i know that deep down i have this constant depression. I think it's an accumulation of many things that have happened to me in the past several years. Kind of freaks me out to think that I do have depression at such a young age, but yeah more so recently I just have this feeling that I am depressed. Even though I laugh, and smile and all that stuff in front of others. It's like putting on a mask. Well not intentionally. It's just that when I'm left alone (like now), i just think of all sorts of unhappy things.

>>same here ^_^"

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Do you know why you are?

An accumulation of things I am unhappy/unsatisfied about. Things that i have yet to come to accept even until now.. I think.

Bad thoughts like these arise from dwelling on the past or being uncertain about the future. :(

Yes, definitely. So insecure as a person..

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An accumulation of things I am unhappy/unsatisfied about. Things that i have yet to come to accept even until now.. I think.

Well, if you need to talk about it, we'll listen. :)

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a bit depressed for being a bit stupid and not looking back where my arm headed. My arm will recomposed on next second week. I got small bruise with minor sprain, but I can handle. I was asked to be be careful not to let it sprain longer. I got black bruise of size of softball.

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1. I just want to close my eyes for moment (is that too much to ask for) but always I see my accident and it spoil that moment.

2. And I'm down because I can't meet my friend who lives at another side of country.

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I need to be here.The problem is I don't know why.

I'm constantly feeling deprssed and there's no one to listen. I once told someone very close to me "I'm sick of my life," and she just said stop acting stupid and don't talk like your going through some kind of teenage depression <_< . I'm anti/semi-social and my mom forces me to participate in social activities because she wants me to be more social. I have no friends except for my cousins because no one seems to understand me at school, and i have to hide the fact that I'm an extremely cold anti-social person at school so it doesn't reach my parents and i get The Lecture, and I hide too much stuff from my parents because i know it's only because I'm the first child I'm being brought up this strictly. I feel constantly confused about pretty much everything and that leads me to thinking whether i really deserve to feel this way which makes me feel only more confused.

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It's been a while since I last dropped by..

Hmmmm.......... you seem to have a very troublesome problem.m076.gif

*deducing problem...............* (A Rookie detective's deduction ) m123.gif

I've come to a conclusion......... i think something must have happened to you or maybe you made a wrong decision on something and you can feel it in your gut that what you did or said. was wrong.....and its's been bothering you for a while now or something similar like that...or on some a count you may have been heartbroken or your falling in love....( just an opinion thought ) m052.gifm003.gif

And I think the best thing to do is relax and maybe hang out with friends or talk to someone you trust a lot............or you could share it with us ( your friends in DCW ). whatever makes you comfortable.m177.gif

Sorry.. I've been gone for a while and didn't happen to see your post. Thank you for your reply.. I'm sure I'd have smiled back then as I just did now with those smileys so.. both Heksu and you, don't worry. ^_^

a bit depressed for being a bit stupid and not looking back where my arm headed. My arm will recomposed on next second week. I got small bruise with minor sprain, but I can handle. I was asked to be be careful not to let it sprain longer. I got black bruise of size of softball.

Sigh.. Those things just seem to happen all the time, don't they..? Resting not forcing your arm was the best thing you could do indeed.. Don't know if you've already recovered, but hope you did get better. Also.. were you sad because you blamed yourself a bit for harming yourself or because you had to go through some treatment and recovering period all along..?

1. I just want to close my eyes for moment (is that too much to ask for) but always I see my accident and it spoil that moment.

2. And I'm down because I can't meet my friend who lives at another side of country.

1. Memories.. some of them are sweet, some of them are not. Truth is.. deep inside, noone wants to suffer. But it's not something which can be helped. Remembering bad experiences is a natural thing to do and yeah.. it hurts. If those kind of memories pop up in our minds constantly, it might just mean we haven't overcome those experiences. Time and strengh is needed to heal and to try to make them slightly disappear. And as life goes by, we slowly realise which things help us overcome those wounds: people we love, little random things which we enjoy doing or which make us smile..

Yet, always remember.. memories are not meant to be forgotten. It's okay to remember. There's no need to blame yourself trying to forget.. Because after all, all those experiences, all we've been through.. are what make us be what we are today.

2. About that.. I guess it can't be helped sometimes. It can get to be really hard.. yet true friendships endure with those sort of.. handicaps. ^_^ Try your best to keep in touch with them and.. some day, maybe, you'll really be able to meet them.

I need to be here.The problem is I don't know why.

I'm constantly feeling deprssed and there's no one to listen. I once told someone very close to me "I'm sick of my life," and she just said stop acting stupid and don't talk like your going through some kind of teenage depression <_< . I'm anti/semi-social and my mom forces me to participate in social activities because she wants me to be more social. I have no friends except for my cousins because no one seems to understand me at school, and i have to hide the fact that I'm an extremely cold anti-social person at school so it doesn't reach my parents and i get The Lecture, and I hide too much stuff from my parents because i know it's only because I'm the first child I'm being brought up this strictly. I feel constantly confused about pretty much everything and that leads me to thinking whether i really deserve to feel this way which makes me feel only more confused.

"I need to be here. (...) I don't know why". "I'm constantly feeling depressed and there's no one to listen ". You.. just need someone to listen to you. Like most of people using this thread here and like just everyone.. Everyone needs to be listened. And that's the reason you're here right now. You feel lonely, uncomprehended because of not being able to ''open'' yourself, to be yourself, to express your feelings and to talk about what worries you or about what you fear..

As a teen it sometimes gets even more complicated. Being unexperienced, wondering and being "confused about pretty much everything".. it's just part of our lives. Believe it or not, everyone's gone through that. I have and still do. Everyone has, really.

If I were to recommend you something, I'd say that first of all, you gotta accept yourself. Try your very best to find out who you are and to understand yourself. Your strong points, your weak points, your fears. Never stop thinking about it and trying to figure out more about yourself.

Also..don't prejudice yourself. Because saying you're an extremely cold antisocial person isn't the same as being "semi-social" (that word meaning you might somehow accept certain people to surround you and interact with you). Also.. if you were that much of a cold person would you even try to seek help in the first place? I will assume you've tried to do so "directly", establishing face-to-face contact.. and on top of that you're exposing your problem here.. If you were that much of a cold person, you wouldn't do this. Not at all..

That's why.. I'm telling you not to give up. You might have not been "lucky". You might have not come across somebody who would lend you a hand wholeheartedly. Sometimes, we can't help feeling misunderstood and alone. But it should be ok some day. That is as long as we always try our best to get to know ourselves, to improve as persons and to try to understand, help and seek help from others whenever we truly need it. It's ok to be broken. It's ok to be confused. Just.. believe in yourself. There's people out there who'll be by your side.

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"I need to be here. (...) I don't know why". "I'm constantly feeling depressed and there's no one to listen ". You.. just need someone to listen to you. Like most of people using this thread here and like just everyone.. Everyone needs to be listened. And that's the reason you're here right now. You feel lonely, uncomprehended because of not being able to ''open'' yourself, to be yourself, to express your feelings and to talk about what worries you or about what you fear..

As a teen it sometimes gets even more complicated. Being unexperienced, wondering and being "confused about pretty much everything".. it's just part of our lives. Believe it or not, everyone's gone through that. I have and still do. Everyone has, really.

If I were to recommend you something, I'd say that first of all, you gotta accept yourself. Try your very best to find out who you are and to understand yourself. Your strong points, your weak points, your fears. Never stop thinking about it and trying to figure out more about yourself.

Also..don't prejudice yourself. Because saying you're an extremely cold antisocial person isn't the same as being "semi-social" (that word meaning you might somehow accept certain people to surround you and interact with you). Also.. if you were that much of a cold person would you even try to seek help in the first place? I will assume you've tried to do so "directly", establishing face-to-face contact.. and on top of that you're exposing your problem here.. If you were that much of a cold person, you wouldn't do this. Not at all..

That's why.. I'm telling you not to give up. You might have not been "lucky". You might have not come across somebody who would lend you a hand wholeheartedly. Sometimes, we can't help feeling misunderstood and alone. But it should be ok some day. That is as long as we always try our best to get to know ourselves, to improve as persons and to try to understand, help and seek help from others whenever we truly need it. It's ok to be broken. It's ok to be confused. Just.. believe in yourself. There's people out there who'll be by your side.

I haven't been myself for a very long time, it freaks me out that when I try to be myself, I don't know who I was. Then I read this: "life is not about finding yourself, it's about creating it." <3333333

I only act extremely cold at school because if I don't I know certain people will keep following me and sticking to me like duct tape. But well, I'm not cold. My emotions always get the best of me. And there are two kinds of me: the anti-social one, and the semi-social one. Depends on my mood.

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I just got rejected. Half-depressed, listening to vocaloids to temporarily relieve myself... but it never works permanently.

Well.. it's a tough thing to go through. Have you tried talking about it with anyone yet? Especially with someone close to you who knows about it. It's a good thing to talk about these things for a bit, it's more fullfilling than trying to relieve yourself temporary. Needless to say, I'm all ears, but I know there might not be that confidence you might have with a friend of yours or somebody who you're familiar with.

I haven't been myself for a very long time, it freaks me out that when I try to be myself, I don't know who I was. Then I read this: "life is not about finding yourself, it's about creating it." <3333333

I only act extremely cold at school because if I don't I know certain people will keep following me and sticking to me like duct tape. But well, I'm not cold. My emotions always get the best of me. And there are two kinds of me: the anti-social one, and the semi-social one. Depends on my mood.

To find something, that something must have been created in the first place.. That's why, I'd say finding and creating yourself go hand in hand. There's a point in our lives when we "awake". When we are children we aren't really aware of who we're becoming. We just learn and keep on living until one day, sooner or later, we realize that who we are and who we want to be is in our very own hands, that our own lives are just ours.

Then, if you've gotten into a point where you don't know who you're or were, recreate and find yourself once again. Restart. Become... who you want to be.

Once you feel comfortable with yourself.. you'll be able to find happiness in being with others once again.

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Mia... <3 You're amazing, darling, and I hope you're doing well. It's been a while since we talked. :)

I just got rejected. Half-depressed, listening to vocaloids to temporarily relieve myself... but it never works permanently.

Listening to music is good. I have a playlist, actually, to help me when I'm depressed, upset and angry... It does help for a little while.

If you don't mind me asking, was it a flat-out rejection or a gentle one?

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Mia... <3 You're amazing, darling, and I hope you're doing well. It's been a while since we talked. :)

Listening to music is good. I have a playlist, actually, to help me when I'm depressed, upset and angry... It does help for a little while.

If you don't mind me asking, was it a flat-out rejection or a gentle one?

It was the worst kind of rejection possible. She acted like she doesn't care. My friend told me:"All she said was,"Oh, Ok."". :( Anything else I could handle but this? Com'on? Well I should've expected that coming since I was scared to talk to her(people at my school were saying that I was stalking her, and I heard it from someone that she found me annoying). I really didn't have another choice then. Mabye I played too safe? Well, what choice do I have now but to move on?

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It was the worst kind of rejection possible. She acted like she doesn't care. My friend told me:"All she said was,"Oh, Ok."". :( Anything else I could handle but this? Com'on? Well I should've expected that coming since I was scared to talk to her(people at my school were saying that I was stalking her, and I heard it from someone that she found me annoying). I really didn't have another choice then. Mabye I played too safe? Well, what choice do I have now but to move on?

Most likely what happened was those rumors got the best of the whole situation..

Say.. did you confess yourself or did you ask a friend to do so on your behalf?

Whatever way it may have happened, I'd say the best thing you can do right now is try to fix what's happened. And I'm not going to tell you to leave everything as it is by letting people talk freely about it as they please. You may have not face it earlier, but if you want the situation to calm down and slowly remain just an issue between you and her, you should face it right now. It will be scary, yet not doing this might just worsen things all over again.

Moving on is not the right solution yet. You haven't done something you should be ashamed of. Your feelings haven't been properly "answered" because of the way things have gone so far.

So.. If I were you, I'd approach her on my own (with noone accompanying you)when she's not necessarily alone but with a few people or a couple of friends and I'd try to talk to her. Sincerely. Tell her that you didn't want your feelings for her to turn into a mess. That you couldn't help avoiding rumors spreading when you just tried to approach her and tell her about it. That you're sorry and that if the best you can do for her right now is move on, you'll try your best to do so.

And with that.. you might be really be able to move on peacefully, like someone who just tried to confess his feelings to somebody who he loved and didn't mean any harm to.

But don't give up until you've heard a proper answer.. Just.. give it your all, ok? You really can do it.

^_^

Mia... <3 You're amazing, darling, and I hope you're doing well. It's been a while since we talked. :)

It certainly has been a while.. Hope you're ok as well and talk to you soon some day for a while <333 ^_^

Mia, have you ever be thinking to become psychiatrist

Not a psychiatrist but a psychologist maybe. I did for a while.. the truth is I'm really into psychology itself, and just end up reading and watching all sort of books, manga, films and series drama or psychology-related. :mellow:

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I've lost all motivation for studying. Everyone around me is getting way too many marks for the exams I'll take next years.mellow.gif it'd be....too much effort. *sighs*

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It was the worst kind of rejection possible. She acted like she doesn't care. My friend told me:"All she said was,"Oh, Ok."". :( Anything else I could handle but this? Com'on? Well I should've expected that coming since I was scared to talk to her(people at my school were saying that I was stalking her, and I heard it from someone that she found me annoying). I really didn't have another choice then. Mabye I played too safe? Well, what choice do I have now but to move on?

That happened to my friend once... She went up and told her crush, "I love you." The guy was like "Oh, okay" and walked away...

You could wait, I guess, and try to talk to her. Many people don't realize how much it takes to confess to the someone they like. Maybe say something like, "Please take my feelings into consideration and how much courage I had to tell you my feelings."

Plus, she never actually told you that she didn't accept your feelings.

Try to clear that up somehow?

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That happened to my friend once... She went up and told her crush, "I love you." The guy was like "Oh, okay" and walked away...

You could wait, I guess, and try to talk to her. Many people don't realize how much it takes to confess to the someone they like. Maybe say something like, "Please take my feelings into consideration and how much courage I had to tell you my feelings."

Plus, she never actually told you that she didn't accept your feelings.

Try to clear that up somehow?

See, the problem with that is that I can't see her in real life anymore(She goes to a different school), and on FB, I would probably sound like a creep. I don't know how to talk to her, nor did I do anything to get her attention(I didn't want to get suspected that I like her because I know that 2 fools in my class that absolutely dread will annoy me daily, maybe even hourly, about it). I didn't have a problem with rejection then, but now I do, since those feeling either 1.became stronger or 2.are flooding my brain way more than before. I was also worried with the rumor that she likes another guy, but the only "evidence" they have is their "flirting with each other" which is pretty much the way I talk to my best friend all the time, but I was scared still.

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I think I need a hug because I'm quite fed up with my parents divorce's issues. I don't want them to use me just because I can give a message to the other without fighting or just try to make me split all the other's weaknesses so they can tell 'em in front of the judge. This has been like this for a long time now and I really cannot stand it anymore. I don't care about the money issues, I don't care about what they are going to do with their lifes, I just want to have a break. This has been going on for about 10 years now and I can't believe they still haven't reached an agreement. Plus I don't want my little brother to get involved. As I was saying, I need a hug xDD. *u*

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I think I need a hug because I'm quite fed up with my parents divorce's issues. I don't want them to use me just because I can give a message to the other without fighting or just try to make me split all the other's weaknesses so they can tell 'em in front of the judge. This has been like this for a long time now and I really cannot stand it anymore. I don't care about the money issues, I don't care about what they are going to do with their lifes, I just want to have a break. This has been going on for about 10 years now and I can't believe they still haven't reached an agreement. Plus I don't want my little brother to get involved. As I was saying, I need a hug xDD. *u*

*HUGS*

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ARRGH!! I should get someone to dance with me in that http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanhojen_tanssit

All my year girls got partner already (because at this year boys came more in upper secondary than girl witch isn't normal) and now I had to find my partner from one year older or younger class than me. Elder got already their old dresses from last year, but they will go to party all the night before that day, because they leave school. And younger don't got dresses or know how to dance.

Graah.

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*hugs everyone*

It's been a bit stressful lately. Broken promises, tainted friendships, rumors...

I hope everyone else has been doing better than I have.

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