Jump to content
Detective Conan World
IdentityUnknown

Dear Anonymous...

Recommended Posts

Dear Anon,

 

Nyoooooom.

 

That's the sound of me leaving your life.

 

~trx

Dear not so anonymous,

 

Your profile picture has finally been fixed.

Thank you, my OCD was killing me.

 

-Me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear anon,

Never worry. I'll bear with you till the end.

I promise to you that I'll be always loyal as long as you don't go reaching for the exit.

Signed

Me

 

---

 

Dear anon,

I hope for more :)

Signed

Me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear anons,

 

You're both very considerate and despite not really expressing it I appreciate it a lot. Being that I'm an anxious being of crap and not good with words I'm gonna thank you here in the vaguest way possible so thank you! ;--; I hope you're having a nice summer break btw

 

-- 

tumblr_m42rkciWcq1r58lid.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear anons,

I'll probably join in next time. I'm sorry that I've been avoiding you all alot after we all graduated.

It's just that... *sigh*

Signed

Me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear anonymous, 

 

I hope you don't have too high of expectations for me because we're only one week in and I can already tell that this class is going to become something I wholeheartedly dread very, very soon. 

 

--your soon to be very stressed student 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear anon,

I'm questioning everything now. Nothing just make sense. :V

Signed

Me

----

Dear anon,

Hope you have fun there. :D

Signed

Me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear sister,

There are so many things I want to tell you.

You've missed so much, I've missed so much. There's everything I need to tell you, there's nothing I need to tell you.

I'd give anything to see you, to talk to you.

But even that request was cruelly wrenched from me, impossible to fulfill.

A bitter aftertaste this leaves me.

This place is full of my naivety, my foolishness, my immaturity. It is full of regrets, guilt, angst, despair.

Human life is such a fragile thing.

I remember so often wishing it was a nightmare, a joke.

But he wouldn't joke about such a serious thing.

Please don't worry. I live happily, but I still remember you. I still remember our joy of being with each other, the joy of seeing the unread notification symbol.

And I will remember it.

Thank you, my dear sister.

- Me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear cat anonymous,

 

We've been over this; one of these times you're gonna lose your favorite mouse for good and we'll never get it back. It already happened once but we had an extra but after this one you're outta luck. Tread carefully small furry one

 

--me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear J,

 

"Dear"? Well, that's just a formality.

 

We chat often. We filled up the group chat with absolute nonsense. Thirty-six thousand messages of teasing, back-and-forth cursing (well, for you), being high, and generally being friends.

 

Friends?

 

I'm not actually sure. You don't talk to me much in real life. You have your own little group of gamers that I'd never fit in with.

 

But I care.

 

You said you wanted to die.

 

As if no one would miss you.

 

I would.

 

~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear anon,

*sigh* I'm the one who is scared that in the end I might just lose it and stop.

I really hope that never happens, though.

Signed

Me

 

---

 

Dear anon,

You're trolling me again, aren't you?

At what crap are you throwing me at again? :V

Signed

Me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear anon, 

 

I'm really dense and overall pretty stupid. I'm well aware; just bear with me. In like 3 years I'll probably be at least somewhat smarter. 

 

--me

 

--------------

 

Dear other anon, 

 

ahhh h h h you're really nice;;;;

 

--still me

 

---------------

 

Dear other other anon,

 

Making plans 3 and 7 months in advance is probably not our smartest idea. Especially since we're already hyped yet don't even know if we'll be in town/free when those dates roll around but screw it, I'm lookin' forward to it already. hope this doesn't fall through the cracks and that I'll get to see you guys before then since I haven't seen you guys since late May

 

--that kid you're still friends with for some reason

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear .....

 

You know, I always thought I had an okay grip on reality. That reality was the people around me, and the things I watched and the people and the world they created online was not reality. That one day, if I had to, I could pull away when the pseudo reality collapsed. Most of all, I determined that me online, most well-known as HaibaraDaiFan, was not necessarily real or reality, and she could be ditched. What happened to her didn't necessarily affect reality.

 

The problem is ... that's not exactly true. And the people in 'reality' are just as cruel as the ones that hide behind usernames and IP addresses. When I needed to be vulnerable, I once ran to this pseudo-reality. It broke me, I didn't understand. Rather, it broke HDF. It hurt her, and she began to learn how to pretend. Pretend it was okay. Pretend she wasn't mad. Pretend that those people hadn't treated her that way. Pretend that life wasn't that bad. Pretend that she could handle it. Pretend that being 'logical' was her first resort. HDF learned to shove those emotions in a box, one that didn't have a very tight seal. She spent a very long time with many people trying to sort out their issues, 'RL' or online. HDF's 'kindness' had affects on my life, though. Something about staying up until 3am on a school night crying with someone in another state or even country didn't work well for me at my 8am class.

 

See, though I often loathe HDF's existence and many mistakes and poor effect on my 'reality', I realize now that she and I are indeed the same. HDF, though not the best, was a leader. She tried really hard, even though often misled, to protect and serve people. She learned to handle people's issues and forgive, or try to. She learned how to keep her mouth shut even when she was hurt in order not to cause harm to others.

 

HDF was hurt badly. So I was almost too happy to leave her. Her 'friends' were never friends anyway, and it wasn't hard to come to that conclusion. After all, I just have to realize that they were online, people like me using a pseudo-reality as an emotional dump and escape of sorts. But what happens, now? What happens when no one cared about HDF's presence after a few months? It was okay, after all, she didn't really exist. They didn't really exist. It was all a game and people 'caring' was just a nice idea.

 

So when HDF is gone, what am I to do? What am I to do when the people closest to me here, in 'reality' are just as horrible? What happens when the people I pour into turn on me like they did to HDF? But I'm not HDF. I can't run to 'reality' when things get ugly. So I wonder, how real is HDF, how real am I? Because online or in person, everyone is more than happy to jump at the chance to see me fall. Everyone is more than happy to fan the flames should there be the faintest hint of something that could be a scandal or whatnot. Because I keep the darkest things hidden deep inside, so that I won't hurt you, or anyone. I keep the worst things to myself under an internal law that it cannot be spoken. Because I don't go around hurting people and I don't go around trying to be better than others. Because I try to understand your situation but you are mad because I think of consequences and haven't done any of the 'bad' stuff so I can't possibly understand.

 

When finally, I learn that the people close to me not only came up with a very awful thing to say, but shared it amongst each other and didn't even blink - didn't even say that it couldn't be true, didn't even think to defend me, it crippled me. It was worse when the one person who should have my back in the face of false accusations told me it was my fault. I find myself here in 'reality'. Reality where I cannot stand because I am vulnerable here. So, I wonder, perhaps HDF is more real than I thought. Because I have to be her, here in 'reality'. I have to smile and keep every single important thing locked up very tightly. Every one I trusted is no longer trustworthy. I get to do this again. I get to shield the other person involved and take the hit alone. I get to forgive my accusers and convince others not to be mean to them. I get to pretend everything's okay.

 

Really, HaibaraDaiFan and I are the same. And perhaps the pseudo-reality of online was more reality than 'reality' itself. Because at least here people are disturbingly more at ease to be 'themselves'. At least it's no surprise when they turn, when they say hurtful things. In the end, HaibaraDaiFan, you and I are one and the same, and I'm going to need your remaining resilience to get through this.

 

Sincerely,

.....

If anyone reads that, they probably think I have a split personality or some serious mental issues.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear anon(s),

 

I don't know which one of you it is, but it's almost October, please stop with the fireworks or whatever it is you're doing. Feeling my entire house shake isn't a good experience and upsets my cat

 

--occasionally anxious neighbor

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear anonymous, 

 

My condolences go out to you and your family. I hope you'll all be given adequate time to grieve.

 

--former classmate

 

 

Dear anon,

 

Please keep your self-centered, harmful ideologies between you and your friends in private. You're in public; you never know just who will overhear you. You're an adult, you should be aware of this by now.

 

--the coincidentally queer kid sitting 5 feet away

just because my headphones are in doesn't mean I don't hear you

tumblr_m42quperIZ1r58lid.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dear anons, 

 

Things aren't looking too well at the moment but I'll try to fix things as soon as possible. I had a feeling this would happen so I apologize for trying to act like this happening wasn't a possibility. I'll see what I can do, hopefully we'll still be able to make plans for the end of the month.

 

-- 

tumblr_m42quperIZ1r58lid.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now