Because We Are Detectives

[Aeyra 260]

Hello, this is Aeyra (who else would write a HeiShin fic for crying out loud?)! This is the fic I've been talking about, 'Because We Are Detectives', featuring HeiShin, slight hints of ConAi/ShinShi, and even subtler hints of ShinRan somewhere in there. I think it turned out okay, but it's not finished yet. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but apparently it didn't agree with my opinions. So, I split it into nice little 1st person view shots. The HeiShin doesn't really start until part two or three, at least, not for Shinichi, so, I guess anyone could read the first part. Ran breaks up with Shinichi and that thing. I can't believe I wrote that... ... ... Anyways, onwards to the story! If there are any mistakes, please alert me. The only time I had to write this thing is past 10 o'clock at night and typos are nearly guaranteed. If you are a hater of HeiShin, please refrain from insulting the couple. So, um, yeah. Here's part one. If the spaces disappear, it's not my fault.

Shinichi's POV

"Ran, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to leaveyou for so long. I didn't mean to hurt you so much. Just please forgiveme." I am all but on my knees begging as I stare down into Ran's fieryblue eyes, filled with anger and confusion. None of the love I was used toseeing. I watch her part her soft, beautiful lips, waiting endless momentsbefore the words come spilling out.

"I waited for you for years,Shinichi! Years! You come back to after all this time and tell me you love me!Tell me you were masquerading as my little brother?!" Her outburst is likethe breaking of a dam, unbelievably powerful and unstoppable. A raging bull,one that is easily capable of killing the matador. Every bit of rage, despair,loneliness being displayed at once, letting the colors and anger fly. "Howdare you?"

"I had no choice! I wanted toprotect you! I swear!" My voice sounds broken, is cracking, as I plead forforgiveness. I knew hiding the truth would have consequences, but I didn'timagine they would be this terrible, this heartwrenchingly horrible. Thiswasn't how I'd envisioned it; I'd imagined something perfect, a dream, wherewe, Ran and I, would reveal our truest feelings and decide our future.

Why, why? What have I done to deserve this? I think, holding back tears. Everything- everything wasfor her. Why is everything going so, sowrong...?

"Protect me? You've told me yourstory, and I see no part of it that would have put either of us in danger. Youtold Professor Agasa, you told Ai-chan, you told Hattori-kun and even Eisuke-kun.And yet you couldn't even tell me, the one who obviously missed you most? Didyou not trust me, your best friend?! I've known you since we were tiny toddlersand yet you thought I'd blabbering out your secret in an instant? When was Ithat type of person? Tell me, Shinichi. Out with it." Her scream seems tobe piercing my heart, splitting in it in two. Our conversation wasn't supposedto turn out like this. Wasn't supposed to be a catastrophe.

"The only one I told on my ownfree will was Professor Agasa!" The half-truth slides like butter throughmy teeth, desperate, but coming out easily. Anything to keep her here, make herlisten. Stay here. Stay with me. "The rest of them figured it out andconfronted me! I had no choice but to-"

"And how many times did I do theexact thing just to have you wiggle out of it? How many times did I attack youand try to force you to admit you were Shinichi? Did my attempts notcount?"

I have nothing to counter her, noshield for the bullets she fires like a machine gun from her sharp tongue, thehard, cold truth of it. I can only stand, do my best to endure her rant, try tosurvive while it feels like I'm being ripped apart, piece by piece.

She could take me down right now withher karate, knock me unconscious. I'd welcome it to this living hell, rejoiceeven. However, she seems to sense the full impact of her words, and I take eachone of them like a punch, a kick. It hurts, it hurts so much. I deserve everyblow.

Ran is crying now, shaking from thetears that are running down her face, but she is still obviously infuriated. Iwant to lean forward, wipe away the hot moisture from her cheeks, something Icould do so easily as Conan. I know she won't let me, and allow her tocontinue. I earned it. I did this to her.

"You even disappeared as Conan,and I was waiting six months with no word from either of you. I had no idea ifyou were dead, kidnapped, or lost or anything! Can you even imagine how thatfelt?! My precious little brother, my best friend, both gone without even agood-bye? You didn't call, you never came back. I had the police looking allover for you, skipped school, wasted countless weeks- months."

"I'm sorry. Just please, Ran. Giveme one more chance. Just one. I promise I'll make it up to you. Please."I'm truly on my knees now, looking up into her icy blue eyes, waiting for thekilling blow. One more will do.

"One more chance? You promise?Don't make me laugh." She makes a sound halfway between laughter andcroaking. "You promised that you'd come back to me, promised you wouldn'tleave. Every time I trusted you, but I only ended up getting my heart broken. Itrusted you with my life, and that's why I so willingly handed my love over toyou. You smashed my heart to pieces. How can you even dare try to promise meanything? Tell me dammit!"

The world spins around me, the dullcolors of my room, dusty from my absence, swirl into undefinable patterns as Irealize that I can't win this fight. I lose. "You can't trust me. The onlyreason I can give is that I love you, Ran. More than anyone else. Pleasebelieve me."

I am merely a wisp, unable to withstandher attacks, only a shadow of the man I was before this. My whispered wordshang on the heavy air, their dead weight lingering until Ran breaks thesilence, eyes shining with regret.

"Shinichi, you sweetbastard..." she murmurs, sniffling as she wipes away tears. "I didlove you, but I just bring myself to feel the same way I did before. I wouldhave waited forever, all you had to do was tell me the truth. Trust me, I triedto find those feelings, but what you've done to me is unforgivable- they'vedisappeared.. We can try to be friends, but there's no way we can be loverslike you want us to. There's no us. Not anymore."

I nod slowly, swallowing the hard lumpin my throat as I feel hot tears trying to break through my mask. "Iunderstand."

"Bye then, Shinichi." Andwith that, Ran is gone. Her soft, dark caramel hair leaving the room last,glimmering in the pale morning light that streams through the windows, herquiet footsteps resonating throughout the empty house before I hear a door slamshut. She's really gone.

I curl up into a balland start crying. I know it seems weak, makes me look helpless, but what else can I do. Everything I've done was for this moment, all my work, everything. This wasn't part of the plan. This wasn't what was supposedto happen. I fall asleep fists clenched, whispering my empty promises into the dead soliloquy.

******************************<br style="mso-special-character:line-break"><br style="mso-special-character:line-break">

[hopes 237]

Wow. Ran really gave it to him. This is AWESOME!! Can't wait to see what will happen!! However, there are a lot of words that are together and are missing spaces. It's kinda confusing to read. Is there a reason for that??

[IdentityUnknown 216]

Wow. Ran really gave it to him. This is AWESOME!! Can't wait to see what will happen!! However, there are a lot of words that are together and are missing spaces. It's kinda confusing to read. Is there a reason for that??

When you copy+paste long stories on DCW, I think you have to space all of your words out again...

[Aeyra 260]

Wow. Ran really gave it to him. This is AWESOME!! Can't wait to see what will happen!! However, there are a lot of words that are together and are missing spaces. It's kinda confusing to read. Is there a reason for that??

I've had this problem before. It's perfectly normal in the editor, but once you paste the thing happens to think it'll be fun if it MASHES ALL YOUR WORDS TOGETHER INTO A GIANT MESS. Sorry, it just annoys me that much. I space 'The Leap' and gave up around the 300 word mark. It's tedious, and it's not worth the time. Do you think I should post it on ff.net?

[hopes 237]

I've had this problem before. It's perfectly normal in the editor, but once you paste the thing happens to think it'll be fun if it MASHES ALL YOUR WORDS TOGETHER INTO A GIANT MESS. Sorry, it just annoys me that much. I space 'The Leap' and gave up around the 300 word mark. It's tedious, and it's not worth the time. Do you think I should post it on ff.net?

DEFINITELY.

[Sayomi 17]

Poor Shinichi xP But I really like this :D And I also think you should post this on ff.net :]

[IdentityUnknown 216]

I've had this problem before. It's perfectly normal in the editor, but once you paste the thing happens to think it'll be fun if it MASHES ALL YOUR WORDS TOGETHER INTO A GIANT MESS. Sorry, it just annoys me that much. I space 'The Leap' and gave up around the 300 word mark. It's tedious, and it's not worth the time. Do you think I should post it on ff.net?

Oh, and I forgot to post my thoughts on this...

The emotion and description was pretty good but it could be improved (sorry, my beta personality took over for a moment there, ).

I think that most of us would prefer longer chapters though. I know it's tedious when you have to space out all the words. Do you use Word, Pages, or what? I use OpenOffice for my fanfics (and Pages sometimes), which I find can actually copy+paste without any difficulty.

Why'd you choose to write in present tense? I'm writing a new fanfic I may or may not continue in present tense, but I'd just like to hear your opinions. I usually write it in past tense, since that's just easier for me.

[Kiel95 86]

heeey, well i read that it wasn't a conai... made me sad, but since it wasn't a shinran i'm ok

aaaaanywaaaaays, even tho the words were mashed it was quite easy to read, and pleasant as well ^^

I really liked it! i didn't see too many errors (i would list them but they are so minor i forgot where they are)

i definitely think this should go on fanfiction. You're work is quite amazing, and i like your descriptive detail. You're doing a great job!

I can't wait to read more and i'm glad you broke ShinRan up even tho you are one and i actually don't mind it ending heishin, but personally... KaiShin is waaaaay better than HeiShin KYAAAAAA~ <3 (whoops... fangirl mode... sorry XD)

[conanshinichi 15]

Now that's why I hate Eisuke

[Aeyra 260]

Now that's why I hate Eisuke

What does that have to do with it.

[IdentityUnknown 216]

He meant that Ran was getting upset at Conan telling Eisuke that he was Shinichi, but not telling Ran herself.

[conanshinichi 15]

Yup

[Aeyra 260]

Yup

Any chance of an opinion here, ConanShinichi? I wanna know if you like it. (just don't flame the couple)

[Kiel95 86]

conanshinichi? huh? are you saying he's a narcissistic person who loves himself waaaay too much? oh and partially a pedophile since half of him is in love with his child half?!?

[Tna Uchiha 23]

Wooow, that's great, Aeyra! I like it! (Just like Kiel said, because Ran and Shinichi were breaking up ). I don't mind you'll pair up him with Heiji, it will be interesting! Looking forward to the update xD

[Aeyra 260]

conanshinichi? huh? are you saying he's a narcissistic person who loves himself waaaay too much? oh and partially a pedophile since half of him is in love with his child half?!?

I was talking to conanshinichi, maybe the capitalization confused you... But I have read a short one-shot about the conanshinichi pairing... One of those 100 fanfic things... It was really funny. Conan: So what now? Shinichi: I don't know. Wanna make-out? Conan: What the h-ll? Something like that...

Thanks to everyone who's commented so far! I'm glad you like it!

[Kiel95 86]

I was talking to conanshinichi, maybe the capitalization confused you... But I have read a short one-shot about the conanshinichi pairing... One of those 100 fanfic things... It was really funny. Conan: So what now? Shinichi: I don't know. Wanna make-out? Conan: What the h-ll? Something like that...

Thanks to everyone who's commented so far! I'm glad you like it!

O.o i c... wow... um... that was... interesting... O.o

[Aeyra 260]

O.o i c... wow... um... that was... interesting... O.o

It was... but it made me laugh out loud! I shall post the next chapter once I get it back from Pyre... *taps foot* Pyre...

[IdentityUnknown 216]

*coughs*

I'll hurry up...

[Kiel95 86]

can't wait

[conanshinichi 15]

Yeah sorry Aeyra, yes it is good so far

[Aeyra 260]

Thanks to everyone who has read thus far! (it's only been one chapter... *sulks in corner for no reason, cultivating mushrooms*) Anyways, I've gotten Part 2 back from Pyre (everyone please applaud *claps* *feels awkward* *sits back down*) and it's been improved quite a bit. Just remember, if you write past ten o'clock at night every day, there will be inconsistencies with stuff like honorifics and weird sentences. And you'll forget to italicize once you get in a word processor since you've written it with the Notes app of your iTouch. Okay, here is part two:

Heiji's POV

"How's he holdin' up, Doc?" I ask into the speaker, anxiously waiting for his reply even though it is only a matter of seconds before he answers. I had only heard about Kudo's situation about a few days ago from an email sent by the little girl, Haibara. Apparently she didn’t feel it was important to tell me my best friend was dumped by his girlfriend and was suffering from depression until nearly a month into his situation. Nope. Not important at all.

"Not too well. I've been having Ai look after him, but he's vapid, and-" He lowers his voice as if he's afraid somebody will overhear. "He tried to commit suicide this morning."

"WHA-?" I blurt out, shocked. Kudo, the guy who was all for living, Kudo, the teenager who would even save murderers from death, tried to kill himself? I knew his situation with neechan was bad, but for him to be this desperate...

"Ai-chan found him with a small bottle of pain killers in his hand this morning. And the thing was almost half empty." Half-empty. One small bottle of drugs capable of death. How could he do such a thing?

"What's his condition?" If he seriously downed that many pills, then the guy is probably is seriously sick at best. My heart beats like a hummingbird's wings as I almost make out the unsure breaths of the Professor. Kudo better not be dying, I think. If he dies I'll never forgive him...

"We managed to get him to puke most of it up. We wanted to bring him to a hospital, but he said he refused to go and threatened to attempt suicide again if we made him go. He said that even if he was treated, once he got back, he would kill himself. We're not really sure what to do. At the moment, Ai-kun is taking care of him and she says he's doing pretty well. But she's not a psychologist. She can't help him mentally- and that's where he needs healing." So he's not dying. I let out a huge sigh of relief. If Kudo died, I'd bring him back to life and kill him again for being so stupid. I'd kill him for taking himself away from me.

Wait, what did I just think? That sounded more than just a little awkward. It's because I'm his best friend. I'd miss him, that's all, I try to reassure myself, but I truly think it goes farther than that.

"Ca-can I talk to him?" I plead, wanting to hear Kudo’s voice on the other end instead of this old man who sounds a whole lot less concerned than he should be, wanting to hear that strong, powerful detective that I knew so well.

“I’m not so sure about that right now, Hattori-kun,” answers the Professor, sounding extremely nervous and high-strung. “He seems extremely unwell and Ai-kun says he should try to rest. Maybe you could talk to him later.”

How long is later? I wonder, extremely annoyed that he won’t let me speak to Shinichi for just a little bit. I want to talk to him now. A best friend can’t just sit and act cool when his friend just tried to commit friggin’ suicide!

“No, I want to talk to Hattori.” Kudo’s ragged, croaking voice breaks in, sounding depressed and lifeless. Empty. “Hand me the phone, Professor Agasa.”

“But Shinichi-kun,” he protests, obviously surprised. “You’re hardly in a condition to walk, let alone have a conversation with anyone.”

“Let him.” That’s the little Haibara girl, her cold, chilling voice cracking the worried atmosphere. “His problems are psychological. Perhaps letting him do something he wants, besides dying, would be good for him.”

With a muffled handing over of the phone, Kudo greets me with an emotionless, “Hello, Hattori.” I don’t know why, but it hurts so much to hear him say my name so emptily. Before, whenever he greeted me he’d be annoyed, happy, angry- just something behind that one word. “Hattori.”

“Hey Kudo,” I say, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. I can’t even fool myself with the obviously faked enthusiasm. “I’ve heard things have been- I’ve heard they’ve been pretty bad over there.”

“Pretty bad?” He gives a cold, hard, sardonic laugh. “That’s quite an understatement. I finally turn back after beating the Black Organization and the girl I’ve loved my entire life tells me that she doesn’t want me anymore. After all those days where the only thing I could look forward to was seeing her, touching her, feeling wanted even if her love was for Conan, she gives up on me. But I know it’s not her fault. I have no idea what to do anymore.” I hear a sob from the other end, and I wish I could reach out and comfort him.

I wish I could lay my hand on his shoulder, stare directly into his bold blue eyes, and give him the consolation that he needs. I imagine gently wiping away his tears, my face only inches away from his, and- Stop Heiji! What the hell are ya’ doin’?! I think to myself. I almost imagined- oh my god- I almost imagined kissing my best friend right there. What am I? Gay?

Thinking it over, the answer is probably yes. Urgh, not a good sign. “Kudo, I kind of know how you feel. I’m not sure if you were listening when I told you a few days ago since you were kind of –you know- but-“

“You and Kazuha aren’t together anymore, right?” He says it so bluntly. Like he doesn’t care that her name drives a knife through my heart. Of course, I was the one who brought it up, so if it keeps him from worrying about neechan….

“Yeah,” I start, thinking about that day barely a week ago. “It’s not like I confessed or anything. One day, I went to school and saw Kazuha making out with a guy I knew. They were pressed so closely together, and they were so thoroughly engrossed in each other that they didn’t even hear me protest.” I pause as I visualize Kazuha’s bright green eyes turn to me in shock, in regret, but most of all, in apology. “She said she had started dating him without telling me.”

“Heiji, why are you so angry?” she asked, pulling me aside after my disastrous outburst. “He’s only my boyfriend! Calm down!”

“That’s exactly the problem!” I yell, adrenaline pumping through my veins, anger pulsing through my brain, beating like a drum. “Don’t you get it? I- I like you Kazuha!” I feel my face flush red, and then see her dawn with realization.

“Hei-Heiji, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know, but-“ Her voice lowers to a mere whisper as she stares worriedly over her shoulder to her-urgh!- boyfriend. “I don’t like you anymore. I used to, but, you never seemed to return my feelings, so I started dating Akira-kun, and I love him.” The earnest look in her eyes betrayed the truth in her words.

“I- I don’t approve,” I say, looking down at my feet. “I don’t want you with him.”

“Heiji, it’s too late for that. I gave you a chance, a lot of chances, but you never took them. If you don’t approve, it doesn’t affect my relationship with Akira-kun. We can still be friends, but not the way you want.”

I silently nod, holding back tears of my own, hoping she won’t notice. She walks back to Akira’s side, lovingly holding onto his arm, her emerald orbs filled with warmth that I hadn’t seen for a long time. They stroll off together, leaving me behind. It’s at that moment that I know Kazuha won’t follow me. She will never follow me ever again. The very thought sends me reeling.

“That’s tough,” replies Kudo, but he doesn’t really sound sympathetic at all. It stings, but I know he’s been through worse. He wants me to pity him. He wants me to debase myself so I’m lower than he is, I can sense it, can feel it. The thought makes me cringe.

“Kudo, why did you try to kill yourself this morning?” I get straight to the point so he can’t hold it off any longer. His problem has to go farther than losing neechan. He's not the kind of guy who would suicide just because his girl dumped him. Or is he?

"I can't stand this anymore, Hattori. For the past few years, all I could look forward to was her promise to be there for me once I returned. It's what kept me going Hattori. Ran moved to the US for college, and it doesn't seem like she's coming back anytime soon. I'm lonely- Haibara and the Professor just aren't enough company. They don't understand." He seems to hesitate, let his confession linger on the heavy air, drawing out the moment where I hear him utter, "Hattori? Can you come to Tokyo? I want to see you."

For some reason, the words cause me to blush, and I can feel the crimson spreading across my face. Kudo wants me. He wants to see me. And I can see him again.

"M-me?!" I stutter out, my voice climbing to an unusually high pitch. "W-why?"

"You don't want to? Hattori, you sound embarassed. Why? All I want is the company of my best friend. You're going through the same thing right now too, aren't you?" His tone has transformed to a light and teasing one. My heart flutters wildly at the sound. Ba-dump! Ba-dump! What the heck is wrong with me?

"I most definitely want to come! I'll come right now! Just wait a couple of hours, Kudo. I'll be right there!" I slam down the phone, and start preparing for my journey to Tokyo.

Remember, it's not my fault if it kills it. Please comment! ~Aeyra (Note: it killed the italicizes, not the spaces this time, so forgive me if I missed some of them.)

[conanshinichi 15]

Is this going to become a g*y couple?

[Aeyra 260]

Is this going to become a g*y couple?

Did you not see the HeiShin warning sign? Yes, it will turn out HeiShin, cuz I said so. Just don't flame the couple.

[Kiel95 86]

<3 this is going pretty well, but throw in some of kaitou to mix it up a bit make him try to steal shinichi away for a bit, then make him back of and really have been only teasing the two of them and making it harder on them on purprose i just feel like having some kaitou kid mischief y'know? <3